Well, I fucked up. I mean, I've known this for a long time, I admitted to being wrong in the past, because I was. I really was. I did mess up our relationship and I accepted that and we split. It was perfectly fair.
Today hit me hard, though. It's 4:20 am, and I realized that had nothing happened months ago -- had I not fucked up -- that in four hours I'd be getting on a plane to fly out there and be with her. Thanksgiving and my birthday would ahve been different for once, they would have been special and meant something to me. It would have been invigorating and exciting. I would have been happy. Actually happy.
However, I admit to my mistake, and I am paying for it. Heh, this must be God's divine punishment. This is my retribution, obviously. I pay, emotionally, every day for this. Because I took for granted what I had and didn't cherish it every day like I should have. Had I done that, remembered what I had and how quickly I could lose it, perhaps I wouldn't be spending the holidays alone.
Or perhaps this was all part of fate. Perhaps this was written from the start -- that I was supposed to stay home with parents who wont allow me to eat dinner with them anymore.
I really only have one thing to tell everyone who reads this: cherish what you have. Realize you could have it taken away in one moment, and that it really is important. If it's a person, let them know -- tell them you love them, tell them how much they mean to you. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't take it for granted.
You don't want to pay for it everyday and wish you could go back and change it.
<P ID="signature">http://www.FallenAngelStudios.org><img
< Juggaleaux > wait. I think DarkMacc is Christ.</P>
Today hit me hard, though. It's 4:20 am, and I realized that had nothing happened months ago -- had I not fucked up -- that in four hours I'd be getting on a plane to fly out there and be with her. Thanksgiving and my birthday would ahve been different for once, they would have been special and meant something to me. It would have been invigorating and exciting. I would have been happy. Actually happy.
However, I admit to my mistake, and I am paying for it. Heh, this must be God's divine punishment. This is my retribution, obviously. I pay, emotionally, every day for this. Because I took for granted what I had and didn't cherish it every day like I should have. Had I done that, remembered what I had and how quickly I could lose it, perhaps I wouldn't be spending the holidays alone.
Or perhaps this was all part of fate. Perhaps this was written from the start -- that I was supposed to stay home with parents who wont allow me to eat dinner with them anymore.
I really only have one thing to tell everyone who reads this: cherish what you have. Realize you could have it taken away in one moment, and that it really is important. If it's a person, let them know -- tell them you love them, tell them how much they mean to you. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't take it for granted.
You don't want to pay for it everyday and wish you could go back and change it.
<P ID="signature">http://www.FallenAngelStudios.org><img
< Juggaleaux > wait. I think DarkMacc is Christ.</P>