whaaaa?

W

wingless

Ultimate Female
yeah, check me out... two posts in one day. this has got to be some kind of recent record for me. i dont even remember when i last posted. i missed many of you, and i don't know who most of you are. c'est la vie.

not sure why i'm posting again. "no no no, it isn't you... it's me!" <img src=smilies/retard.gif>
 
> well, if you get the chance, i'd love the female opinion on
> my infamous dating guide

heehee... it's great, except that i'm not the typical female. i love scroungy dirty scruffy men who wouldnt change who they are for anyone... especially a woman, and especially me. i wouldnt want to spruce any man up. in fact, i dread mondays because on monday mornings my boyfriend shaves all of this weekend stubble off.... the stubble that he grows for me, because he knows i love it. i wouldnt care if he never shaved, cut his hair, or looked in the mirror again. i dig that shit.

also, my last relationship consisted of me falling in love with a guy who wanted love so badly, he'd do anything to get it and keep it. at the beginning of our relationship, he'd use infamously sweet lines on me (ya know, like gazing into my eyes and saying "your eyes are so beautiful"... shit like that). the way they came across just sounded like lines that he'd rehearsed, and i actually laughed. i asked him if he was serious. i asked what was with all the lines. he acted hurt and said he was saying what he felt. from that point on i accepted them as truth.

well, come to find out..... it really was all just tricks to get me to like him, and you have no idea how that makes me feel. what i thought was love was actually just a series of tricks to make me fall in love. well, i guess it worked... but now i feel like the entire relationship was one big lie, based on a bunch of little lies and scheming tricks.

i dont want anyone to change for me. i dont need any convincing for me to like you. be unbridledly you, and if i like you then you will know it.

i do agree with most of what you wrote, and i think it's great.
 
> also, my last relationship consisted of me falling in love
> with a guy who wanted love so badly, he'd do anything to get
> it and keep it. at the beginning of our relationship, he'd
> use infamously sweet lines on me dot dot dot

That's horrible what he did. Hm, I dunno, call me old fashioned, but I don't think it's a good policy to lie to someone you are in a relationship with...or, I dunno, whatver you would classify what this guy was doing. I suppose I can understand as I remember when my confidence was lower than dirt, and it's still not the tops (although I'm definitely working on it), but if you feel like you HAVE to use little white lies and such to make someone like you that's pretty sad really.

Heh, and as for the changing for someone else thing, I could see possibly 'adjusting' some of your ways, a compromise...but if somebody doesn't like how I am when I first start dating them or something then hell with it. Heh, never get involved with a gal who dislikes a really geeky guy it'd be in my case. :p

Anyhow, enough babbling. Feel like putting in several cents of my own for some reason.
 
> That's horrible what he did. Hm, I dunno, call me old
> fashioned, but I don't think it's a good policy to lie to
> someone you are in a relationship with...or, I dunno,
> whatver you would classify what this guy was doing.

well i feel bad for him in a way, because he just wants love so badly. of course, i feel worse for his future significant others, because it wont matter that they're the girl that they are. they are a girl, and that's all that matters.

he doesnt really see it as him lying (personally, i dont care about lying very much as long as it isnt a big thing). i feel like the entire relationship was one big lie, but in his mind he was just going for what he wanted, and being incredibly sweet to make it happen. how could that be a bad thing? well, it was... because it wasnt truly him. he wanted me to like him so much... he used all sorts of things to get me to that point. when those (sweet) things stopped, he basically told me that they were "tricks to get me to like him", and that "we're beyond that point, now". it broke my heart, because it meant that certain things about him that i'd grown to love were all just a scheming act. even still, we continued going out for a long time. i tried to accept it, but i couldnt. the relationship deteriorated. we were actually engaged.

i notice in my current relationship, i have a very hard time accepting things at face value. when my boyfriend says "i like you", or "i love you", i wonder if he's just saying it because he wants it to be true.... or if it's actual truth.

live, love, learn, i guess.
 
>well, it was... because it wasnt truly him. he
> wanted me to like him so much... he used all sorts of things
> to get me to that point. when those (sweet) things stopped,
> he basically told me that they were "tricks to get me to
> like him", and that "we're beyond that point, now".

Ah, well that's what I mean...I mean, it's one thing to say these things and really mean it but to say them just because, to trick someone into liking you...that's not right really...it's like, well, hollow...lost it's meaning.

> live, love, learn, i guess.

I hear ya there...my last relationship caused me to learn a hell of a lot of stuff pretty quickly. :p At least we're probably both better for it even if it sucked at the time. And the way I look at it is that really It's so much better that I'm no longer in that relationship.

But hey, it sounds like you're in a good one now, and that's all that matters really. :)
 
<blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr>

i notice in my current relationship, i have a very hard time accepting things at face value. when my boyfriend says "i like you", or "i love you", i wonder if he's just saying it because he wants it to be true.... or if it's actual truth.

<hr></blockquote>
All you can do is trust your instincts on the matter. I probably don't even need to say this, but the worst thing is second guessing yourself. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom