My ex girlfriend decided to email me today..
she included a picture of herself where she was smiling..
i fell in love with that smile, but that was long ago..
i told some of you people what she did to me..
but i will explain briefly,
you see my life has never been a very happy one but i tried to make it work,
then one day i decided to stop.. to stop with trying to create a live that would become a reality,
so i lingered on, i decided to see how long i could handle this before i would ultimatly end it all..
then she came along, and we had a blast.. but alas it was a relationship found on the internet and thus doomed to fail..
not that every internet relationship is doomed.. only the ones where the other lives around 12hours flying..
but being alone for so long isnt nice, so i took the step and went to see her..
i lived with her for a month and we got to know eachother very good.
we had so much fun that month.. and we knew that we were destined to be together..
well atleast i had that feeling..
because i tried to make it work until one of us was going to move to live with the other,
but somewhere she changed, she didnt treat me nice anymore,
she hurt me so many times.. i stayed up late at night to talk to her
but i guess it all became normal for her,
for me to be there for her,
whatever i did she was not satisfied,
maybe it was me? but i honestly dont know what could have made her change..
one day, close for the ending of July i broke up with her..
first she was crying, then she got mad.. and then i got mad..
i just wanted to end this relationship of pain,
but she wouldnt let me.. i tried around 4 times to break up with her before i could finaly get the courage to break up with her that sad day in july..
after our breakup she left me alone for around a month
then she started emailing me.. asking me if we could talk,
i agreed to talk to her, but we did not talk long..
i just couldnt talk to her anymore after how she treated me..
and again she stopped emailing me.. i tried to get on with my allready misserable life,
then January came.. i woke up one day thinking i could forget her..
but it was in fail.. because she emailed me again that day in january..
this time i was calm, and i was very friendly to her, but not interested in her feelings of love towards me,
what she didnt know was that it was killing me to write her those emails without expressing any love to her..
and now its april the 2nd.. and i knew she would not leave me alone..
everytime when i'm ready to move on and forget about her she pops up in my life..
Just like she did today..
a virtual card with a pic,
and she told me she did not forget me,
and that i am still in her heart.
yes this card was less romantic then the others she send me..
maybe she has another, and yes call me an idiot but it would hurt me if she told me she found another..
thats why i wanted to be as far away from her as possible..
i dont know what my feelings are for her,
they are best left unexplored..
i know i will hurt myself but i will send her an email, asking her how she is doing..
but i have no intentions whatsoever to get back with her..
i'm sorry if my post is difficult to read but my mind is drifting off again,
if only she would leave me alone..
Thanks for reading.
Alex.
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she included a picture of herself where she was smiling..
i fell in love with that smile, but that was long ago..
i told some of you people what she did to me..
but i will explain briefly,
you see my life has never been a very happy one but i tried to make it work,
then one day i decided to stop.. to stop with trying to create a live that would become a reality,
so i lingered on, i decided to see how long i could handle this before i would ultimatly end it all..
then she came along, and we had a blast.. but alas it was a relationship found on the internet and thus doomed to fail..
not that every internet relationship is doomed.. only the ones where the other lives around 12hours flying..
but being alone for so long isnt nice, so i took the step and went to see her..
i lived with her for a month and we got to know eachother very good.
we had so much fun that month.. and we knew that we were destined to be together..
well atleast i had that feeling..
because i tried to make it work until one of us was going to move to live with the other,
but somewhere she changed, she didnt treat me nice anymore,
she hurt me so many times.. i stayed up late at night to talk to her
but i guess it all became normal for her,
for me to be there for her,
whatever i did she was not satisfied,
maybe it was me? but i honestly dont know what could have made her change..
one day, close for the ending of July i broke up with her..
first she was crying, then she got mad.. and then i got mad..
i just wanted to end this relationship of pain,
but she wouldnt let me.. i tried around 4 times to break up with her before i could finaly get the courage to break up with her that sad day in july..
after our breakup she left me alone for around a month
then she started emailing me.. asking me if we could talk,
i agreed to talk to her, but we did not talk long..
i just couldnt talk to her anymore after how she treated me..
and again she stopped emailing me.. i tried to get on with my allready misserable life,
then January came.. i woke up one day thinking i could forget her..
but it was in fail.. because she emailed me again that day in january..
this time i was calm, and i was very friendly to her, but not interested in her feelings of love towards me,
what she didnt know was that it was killing me to write her those emails without expressing any love to her..
and now its april the 2nd.. and i knew she would not leave me alone..
everytime when i'm ready to move on and forget about her she pops up in my life..
Just like she did today..
a virtual card with a pic,
and she told me she did not forget me,
and that i am still in her heart.
yes this card was less romantic then the others she send me..
maybe she has another, and yes call me an idiot but it would hurt me if she told me she found another..
thats why i wanted to be as far away from her as possible..
i dont know what my feelings are for her,
they are best left unexplored..
i know i will hurt myself but i will send her an email, asking her how she is doing..
but i have no intentions whatsoever to get back with her..
i'm sorry if my post is difficult to read but my mind is drifting off again,
if only she would leave me alone..
Thanks for reading.
Alex.
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