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Old 10-28-2003, 08:29 AM   #1
Kuikorosu
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,760
Default Ramblings.

There really isn't an emoticon that's good for "strangely detached" so I guess the book will have to do.

I'm not really sure as to how to explain this, but I've been less than satisfied with myself as of late.. Every night's objective seems to be "stay up as long as I can while being able to get up early enough to get to class in some semblence of being on time." Homework seems to take a backseat to EVERYTHING, and it's almost difficult to look at my books without an overwhelming sense of guilt. I just really don't care. I KNOW how important getting through school is, but I'm just so SICK of it that I would give it up in an instant for something else if the consequences weren't so severe. I don't want to live in the gutter houses and apartments of society.

I saw a girl that I knew from a couple of years ago. I didn't go up and talk to her though - I was overdue for a haircut, and hadn't shaved that day, and I knew that wasn't the "second first impression" that I wanted to make on her. So I went out and got cleaned up, looking sharp, and went to go find her again, and I didn't see her. She goes to the same college as I do, and hopefully I'll see her again. I've done nothing but think about her since we last saw each other, even though we really weren't THAT close. I wonder if that's too weird.

Had a very hot girl come up after class and talk to me. Too startled to really make a good first impression. Wouldn't have worked out anyhow.

So here I am at 12:20PM, drinking a glass of ice water, and writing this post. I have a 60 question multiple choice midterm to do tomorrow morning before 9:50AM. I'm not too concerned about it...I already looked through it, and nothing really struck me as brain damagingly hard. A couple of questions might take a minute to flip through the book and find, but otherwise, I'll probably get an A.

Work sucks. Ain't no satisfaction in work, and it's getting worse. I really need some money to play around with, so I can at least feel like the work that I do is somehow benefitting me, rather than being shoved into a school that I hate. I'm going to apply for a Pell grant, and that'll net me $800 in my pocket. I'm excited about that, but somewhat worried that I'll get rejected, although everyone I've talked to says that I'm qualified for it.

However, that $800's going to go to paying off my debts to my parents, the library, and then the rest to fixing up my car. So how much of it am I going to really be able to shamelessly mess around with? Very little. Try $20. Maybe $50 if I'm REALLY lucky.

I need something good to happen. Something that'll rejuvenate me.

Otherwise...I guess sleeping will remain the #1 thing in my day to look forward to. And that's horribly depressing to me.

<P ID="signature"><font size=1>
<hr>
&lt;DSP_&gt; if i ever have sex with an anime dweeb
&lt;DSP_&gt; she's getting it in the butt
&lt;DSP_&gt; for sure
</font></P>
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Old 10-28-2003, 10:06 AM   #2
SpaceTiger
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,548
Default Re: Ramblings.


] I'm not really sure as to how to explain this, but I've been
] less than satisfied with myself as of late.. Every night's
> objective seems to be "stay up as long as I can while being
> able to get up early enough to get to class in some
> semblence of being on time." Homework seems to take a
> backseat to EVERYTHING, and it's almost difficult to look at
> my books without an overwhelming sense of guilt. I just
> really don't care.

That's EXACTLY how I've been feeling lately. Unfortunately, given my history, I would have to say that it's depression. If it persists, I suggest you talk to somebody about it.

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