My erotic fiction story.

[Vampire hunter D]

Get ready for the most sexy story you will ever read. This story will make you so turned on, you'll wanna have sex with the first person/thing you see to relieve all the sexual tension.

Story 1
Happy Fun Pill-Popping Time
Written by Me


It was a normal day at the asylum. The guards were eating doughnuts and drinking their coffee. The birds outside the electrified, barb wire fence were singing. The doctors were conversing with one another. And the patients were so drugged up that you could do almost anything to them. Melissa Suxkawk was doing what she does best, giving head to the boss. She licked the tip of his swollen MAN PENIS then pushed it all the way into her mouth.
“Mmmm.” she moaned. The boss, who for no reason is a suave, debonair guy who would never exist in real life, moaned too. They were having fun, until Captain Bunny Win-Win flew by the window and yelled.
“HORSE SHOES AND TEA!”
“Damn that rabbit, what the fuck is his problem?” Just then, Larry the stabber ran into the office and started stabbing the boss.
“Pancakes, pancakes, PANCAKES!!!” He yelled, as he vigorously thrust the knife into the boss’s chest. See, that’s why I didn’t give the boss a name. The boss fell over into a pool of his own blood.
“Nooooooo.....” Screamed Melissa. She lifted his head, which was know covered in blood and sticky.
“*Cough*...Melissa..*cough*..I....” He slowly lifted his hand, and Melissa took hold of it.
“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.” Tears fell from her eyes and onto the boss’s cheek. “Please, hang on, I love you too.” The boss shook his head and spoke.
“No...I...need...you to....get that paperwork done...by Monday.” Then he died Melissa raised her arms to the sky and tilted her head back and screamed with all her might.
“WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” Just then, the sun was blotted out by dark clouds. The wind began to howl feverishly, the trees blew to and fro. Rain poured down hard upon the land, and thunder boomed loudly while lightening danced wildly. Melissa continued to scream, even though the thunder and wind cut off her voice. A few minutes later, Jennifer Vagilick came in through the door. She was wearing a tight, revealing white blouse which exposed almost her entire breasts; a tiny skirt, that showed part of her red panties and white high-heel shoes. She saw Melissa, crying her eyes out, and the poor, dead boss.
“Oh my GOD, BOSS!” Evidently, the boss liked fucking her too. She sat down next to Melissa and placed Melissa’s head to her shoulder and stroked her hair to console her.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice was smooth and velvety. Her long, red hair flittered in the wind.
“Ohh, Jennifer.” Melissa pushed her face into Jennifer’s left breast and cried. Jennifer lifted Melissa’s head to look into her eyes, then they began kissing passionately. They swirled each others tongues around inside their mouths. And began undressing each other. Melissa’s grey blouse fell to the floor, revealing her black bra. Jennifer licked down her neck and began nibbling on the support hook until it popped open, her tits were large and pink. Then, Jennifer began sucking upon Melissa’s left nipple while rubbing her right breast. Melissa moaned in pleasure and slowly pushed Jen’s head downward, towards her hips. Jennifer pulled off Melissa’s grey skirt and then her black, lacy panties. Her cunt was shaven and wet. Melissa spread her legs, offering herself to Jen’s will. Jen was happy to oblige. She began slowly licking the outside of Melissa’s cavern, then plunged her tongue in and licked away at her clitoris, lapping up any fluids. Melissa was on the verge of climax when, Joey the Panda Fucker came in.
“They stole my HAAAAAAAAAAT.” He screamed, then he grabbed Jennifer and threw her into a flag pole which went straight through her chest, killing her on impact. Melissa let out a wail of sorrow, one so deep that all who heard it where thrown into a temporary insanity and depression. Joey the Panda Fucker grabbed his baseball cap and danced out the door, happily. Joseph Bigdick walked in, and saw the two dead bodies on the floor, and the naked Melissa curled up, eyes full of tears.
“Melissa, what happened?” He asked, walking slowly towards her. He sat down beside her and placed his arm behind her and leaned her on his shoulder.
“Random patients came in and killed my friends.”
“I’m so sorry.” He looked into Melissa’s eyes, and then she thrust herself upon him and ripped his clothes off. She took his large man plant and inserted it into her wet pussy. He began thrusting into her, faster and faster, making her moan more and more. Melissa felt like she was going to explode, then Timothy the Exploder came in. Tim pulled out a bottle rocket, lit it, and shoved it in Joe’s nose. The rocket exploded, sending gray matter; blood and bone fragments everywhere. Suddenly, Captain Bunny Win-Win flew by again and yelled...
“MERRY CHRISTMAS, 71/\/\3 4 g3\/\/d 3s3x, 1010101.”
Herm A. Frodite walked in through the door and found poor Melissa bawling on the blood covered floor. The bodies of his co-workers lay strewn about, and one of their head’s was completely blown off.
“Melissa, what happened?” Herm rushed over to her, unsure of the horrifying, yet, random events that have taken place.
“The Boss was killed by Larry the stabber, Jen was killed by Joey the Panda Fucker and Joseph was killed by Timothy the Exploder. Please, get out of here before you’re killed in some ridiculous fashion.” Melissa turned her head to the side, and stared at the floor. Herm could see the pain and torment in her eyes, she loved all of them, but lost them all so suddenly, the poor girl. Herm knew what he had to do. He placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her to him.
“Come, Melissa, I’ll restore your hope with a little of BOTH worlds.” Herm removed his pants revealing he wasn’t entirely a he. Herm was a Zwitter...errr...hermaphrodite, which considering his name was obvious.
“Ohhh, Herm.” Melissa reached over and stroked the male part of him, and fingered the vagina, doubling Herm’s pleasure. Melissa continued to vigorously stroke and lick Herm’s man penis and rub his/her clit. Herm was thinking he/she was doing a good job, when Overreacting Gary came in, holding a broken dish in his right and hand and his left balled in a fist.
“THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO SERVE CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THE CAFETERIA, NOT VANILLA!!! Rrrraaahhh.” Gary rushed over to Herm and slit his/her throat with the broken dish, blood sprayed from Herm’s open wound all over. The long stream of blood splattered into Melissa open mouth, making her cough and gag. Gary took a long look at her, then gave her an angry expression. The look on his face was so hate filled, even a demon might cower upon the site of it. Gary extended his index finger and pointed at her.
“Harlot, vile wench. Ye fornicate with men and then wonder why they die? It’s because you are cursed, cursed forever I say.” He then began laughing maniacally as he ran towards the window. He stopped just in front of it, turned towards Melissa and said.
“I shall now ascend to the sky and tell the mighty God’s of Non-Fucking of your evil ways, then they shall smite you.” Then he leaped through the window, sending glass flying everywhere. Unfortunately, he couldn’t fly and he fell to the ground with a hard thump. Gary was still alive, but unable to move, which was a bad thing since he jumped into the attack dog fence. The dogs leaped upon him with precision and began tearing his flesh with their sharp teeth. The dog’s pulled and tugged, ripping flesh and tearing bone and sinew, until all that remained was a red blot on the ground and some perfectly cleaned bones scattered about.

Melissa balled up, Gary’s words echoing in her head. Her mind was in total unrest. Thoughts danced violently through her brain, only a few were legible.
“Is it true? Am I cursed? Am I really, so wrong?” Tears fell from Melissa’s eyes harder then ever.
She wanted nothing more then for it all to be a dream. She felt a sharp pain in her left arm, then everything went white.

When she opened her eyes, she was in a cell. There was Joseph, sitting next to her.
“Joseph, you’re not dead.”
“Why would I be?”
“Timothy the Exploder shoved a bottle rocket in your nose and blew your head off.”
“That’s crazy, that was all a hallucination from the medication. Don’t worry, Gary, everything will be all right.” Joseph extended his hand and patted Melissa on the head.
“Gary?” She thought. Then she turned her head to the side and saw in the mirror, not her face, but that of Overreacting Gary.
“No....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The End?

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[MonsieurSirhan]

Hahaha, that was highly erotic.
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[coolie]

By any chance, do you live under power lines?
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[Vampire hunter D]

> By any chance, do you live under power lines?

I most certainly do not.
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[JadussD]

> Get ready for the most sexy story you will ever read. This
> story will make you so turned on, you'll wanna have sex with
> the first person/thing you see to relieve all the sexual
> tension.

CRUCIFIX IN YOUR ANAL CAVITY
PROSTATE STIMULATION CAUSES SHIT EJACTULATION
WHICH CONTAMINATES THE CUNT OF THE VIRGIN
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[Viewtiful Bob]

> Get ready for the most sexy story you will ever read. This
> story will make you so turned on, you'll wanna have sex with
> the first person/thing you see to relieve all the sexual
> tension.

After reading that, I have the hardest erection I've ever had in my life right now.
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[The 9th Sage]

Oh my god man...<img src=smilies/laff.gif>

"Mellisa? What's wrongt?" <img src=smilies/retard.gif>
<P ID="signature">http://www.xanga.com/ZeldaDD
Wake up and smell the sarcasm.</a></P>

[mrfreeze]

Forbidden Love.
An Original Work By Dan.

It was a frigid evening. Lindsay drove her car to the local Holiday Inn. Her heater was broken and she could feel her nipples harden like two pieces of hot wax dropped in gelid water. She pulled into the parking lot and slid in between an Oldsmobile and a Fiat. Lindsay left her car and entered room 112.
She saw Andy sitting there on the bed with his little wife-beater on. She had a husband and two kids at home. The youngest had just started kindergarten at the local school and she remembered the way the halls smelled the day she dropped him off for his first day. They smelled like lemons. But there were no lemons here tonight; nothing could possibly sour their amorous plans. Not even Andy’s vindictive wife who wouldn’t let him have his buddies over to watch the Super Bowl even thought Andy had ordered a six foot hoagie from the local delicatessen comprised of only the finest cold cuts.
“You’re late,” Andy said.
Lindsay shushed him and pushed him down on the bed like the statue of Saddam Hussein in Iraq was felled by our heroic men and women in the armed forces. She began to rip off his clothes like a spoiled kid at Christmas tears the wrapping paper off presents only to find that his parents did not get him the Power Ranger he asked for. She was disappointed. Andy was not erect.
“I took the pill two hours ago,” Andy said in an attempt to reconcile his lover.
The effects of the drug were kicking in. The blood rushed to Andy’s manhood faster than the late Dale Earnhardt would drive around a racing track, God rest his soul. His wang began to grow in size like a stock portfolio growing in value in a bull market due to a recent technology boom that spurred the global economy into a new era of prosperity.
Lindsay disrobed revealing her pneumatic body, her breasts grabbing Andy’s attention like a sheet of aluminum foil transfixes a stoned teenager at a 7-11 at three in the morning. They pressed their lips against one another’s, their tongues entering each other’s mouths and leaving like so many illegal immigrants coming to America for a better life, only to be deported back to their home country by an INS agent with a handlebar moustache. Finally she latched on to his cock like a leech onto an eighteen-century British explorer in the heartland of Africa and began to orally pleasure him.
After a while Andy gestured and Lindsay readjusted herself on the bed and spread her legs akimbo like a stapler when you unfold it to put new staples in. But no staples were going into Lindsay tonight, only Andy’s juicy meatbat. Andy let out a manly grunt as he shoved his virility into Lindsay like a credit card going into an ATM, except this ATM was broken and he kept having to take his credit card out and shove it back in. He kept thrusting, his balls slapping against her rhythmically like Rocky IV pummeling his drugged-up Soviet opponent.
Lindsay decided she wanted to be on top so she laid Andy on his back and mounted him like a little kid getting on a pony at a petting zoo. She began to bob up and down like a rubber ducky repeatedly getting pushed down into a bathtub full of water only to rise back up again.
Andy gave Lindsay a spank that left a red mark on her behind like a farmer brands a cow so that no one can go about stealing the bovine and using her for her milk. “Fuck,” Lindsay said, “I love being spanked.”
Things got faster and faster. Both Lindsay and Andy were approaching ecstasy like an exponential function reaches infinity on a Cartesian plane. They both let out an ecstatic groan. Andy managed to lift Lindsay off of him and lay her on her back before letting loose on her face. He exploded in a bout of bliss like how Macy’s 4th of July fireworks display explodes into a myriad of colors. His seed drenched her face like a bucket of water drenches a small flowerpot, ‘cause a whole bucket is clearly not needed for an itty bitty flowerpot.
Their hearts racing, they relaxed and began to cool down like an old automobile cooling down on the side of the road because its engine is overheated and doesn’t have an efficient cooling system. Lindsay eventually washed the dried semen off her face like a devout Catholic going to confession to wash the sins off his soul. They both got dressed and Andy looked Lindsay in the eye and said, “You know, I’ve never had sex with my cousin before.”
Lindsay replied, “Me, neither.”



©A MILLION DOLLARS BY DAN.
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[The 9th Sage]

This reminds of what it might be like if Fawful from Mario + Luigi wrote erotic fiction. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>
<P ID="signature">http://www.xanga.com/ZeldaDD
Wake up and smell the sarcasm.</a></P>

[Vampire hunter D]

HAW HAW HAW HAW! Damn, that was great.
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