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Old 11-16-2007, 09:58 AM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 487
Default Friend suddenly severs, investigate or abandon?

I met Megan about 6 years ago when I started taking Japanese at college. We were in class together for a long time, however, to make a long story short, we never hung out. It wasn't until about 3 years ago that we first really talked, and then I disappeared on a foreign exchange shortly afterwards. Finally, last August, we met up for the first time in almost 2 years, and we started occasionally getting together. It seemed like a good friendship in the making. We studied together often, and other times, we just chilled.

Almost 2 weeks ago, though, she didn't turn up to study at my place as we had planned, and she has utterly avoided all contact since.

Now, let me make a couple things clear here:
1. No romance. Seriously. I really just wanted a friendship, and I am in a good relationship with another girl who I consider a far better mate. Megan has never exhibited any signs of attraction to me at any point in time.
2. I was never creepy toward her. My invitations to do stuff with her were casual, as well as reciprocated, and I never put pressure on her. In all other aspects, I was always a gentleman. I can't imagine what could have freaked her out so badly.

Yet in spite of a few attempts to contact her, I have gotten NOTHING in the way of communication from her since the day she didn't show up. Conceivably, she could be dead. I suppose I should mention now that this girl has had issues, too. She spent months in a clinic for bulimia last year, and she still has problems functioning socially. She might just not know how to ask for help in times of trouble. My first response to this is that I should go track her down (I know where she lives, still with her parents) and make sure she's OK. Sometimes I feel bad for not having done it already.

However, part of me thinks that she doesn't want to see me. We certainly never had a mature enough friendship for me to assume that I have a very big role in her life. Those problems she has had are a double-edged sword, too. I can't help but think that she's probably going through some crazy isolationist phase right now, and/or she is unable to cordially break off our friendship, and she really won't want me storming her home. I personally don't want to make an uncomfortable confrontation of this kind, particularly if she is rejecting our friendship.

What should I do? I feel bad for not making totally sure she's unharmed, but I don't want to be a twit who can't take a hint and just leave her alone. I'd hate for things to just end like this, but I can't tell what would make the situation better or worse.

Thoughts, anyone? There are no mutual friends in the picture, BTW, just the two of us.
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