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Old 12-23-2004, 12:18 AM   #1
(wraith_)
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Default Decorations

We've reached a point people. There needs to be some kind of licensing required to decorate your house for the holiday season. The Preseident made a milestone decision last year to create a cabinet post for Homeland Security. He needs to go for a back-to-back streak and create a post for Decoration Licensing Commisioner.

People. Giant, inflatable lawn ornaments which are larger on average than a beluga whale are not tasteful. It's gaudy (come on say it with me: gaudy). "Eyesore" sprang to mind first, but I decided to put it more eloquently. An inflatable Santa taller than you are, that has faded from red to pink in color after one week is simply hideous. Find a needle, poke a hole in it, and if you're still looking for something to do, tie it into a noose and hang yourself.

That lone dead tree with three branches on your front lawn does not want a string of lights on it. Doubly so if they are colored. Your coniferous plants will appreciate them much more. If you need to something with that tree, pull out your trusty axe and make some firewood.

Net lighting is for bushes, not your house. Accent the line of your roof--do not buy a 50'x50'x50' net and drape the whole thing over your house and call it a day.

And for the love of God--stop buying outdoor decorations that make sounds. It's an experiment. If they sell a million noise-making ornaments, the military gets to declare the US population hopeessly retarded and can use us for weapon testing.

I remember when I was little, you didn't see many decorated houses, and the ones you did see were done tastefully. Why doesn't it work like that anymore? Not all of us are good at decorating. If you're not... do something productive. Bake a fruitcake or something. Stop making my house look tacky by association due to it's proximity to your God-awful display.

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Old 12-23-2004, 12:52 AM   #2
Lobster Cowboy
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Default Re: Decorations

when did you move to New Jersey?

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Old 12-23-2004, 01:54 AM   #3
StormsInHerEyes
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Default Re: Decorations

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=7129

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Old 12-23-2004, 02:04 AM   #4
breadcrust
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Default Re: Decorations

> http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=7129

he he, id laugh if any of those light covered tree caught on fire <img src=smilies/cwm27.gif>

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