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Old 12-07-2006, 08:55 PM   #11
The 9th Sage
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

No...I think it's good you are honest with her. That's the best kind of relationship anyone could ask for, someone who felt comfortable telling them the truth about things.

She really ought to understand that though you are a couple, you are also your own person, and sometimes you both have things you gotta do seperately. That's not to say you can't both do something later, but it sounds like it's down the final crunch for you as far as college goes.
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Old 12-07-2006, 09:01 PM   #12
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

> Look, Danoz, if you've been too busy for more than a couple
> weeks to pay her any real attention, and if you feel sure
> that she is genuinely doubting your love and intentions
> toward her, then maybe you need to take some time and do
> something special to prove yourself.

Hm, I guess that *IS* true. Last week I couldn't really come down to see my girl because I was totally exhausted (playing catch-up at work with a bunch of 12 hour days will do that) but this week she ended up coming over to see me and we had a good time (took her out to a nice place for dinner and all that) and I think we both feel better.
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Old 12-08-2006, 01:29 AM   #13
SamIAm
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

> And it would be a terrible idea to follow this advice

You know, I don't really get what was so harsh about what I said considering that I said it to Danoz and not to his girlfriend. But that's not the point anyway. The point is that I stand by what I said. Do you know how many of my friends have fucked up their lives by bending over backwards for some unreasonably fussy girl? Do you have any idea how pathetic it looks when these girls start to disrespect them and manipulate them because of this very flimsiness?

I don't know jack about Danoz's girlfriend - she may be an angel, and knowing how good a guy Danoz is, I hope that's true. In fact, I'd expect it. And if Danoz did something to cause a real problem, which he may very well have, or even if she's just losing a little faith in him and his love, it's time for him to do something as soon as possible to whatever capacity he can and hope that it's enough for her.

And before I say anything else, let me just say that you did give some excellent advice from a female perspective. Us guys can really mess things up by telling something the wrong way (lord knows I've done that before) and not even realize it at first. If that's what happened in this case, your advice will have helped more than anyone's, most especially mine.

But you know, guys can date girls who act like brats sometimes. Believe it or not, they can act that way for absolutely no good reason, too. Call me whatever you want, but a brat like that needs to be treated like a brat. It's not a pleasant experience, but personally I'd rather let the shit hit the fan than let my life burn away with somebody pulling that on me. Women and men alike can be fussy, insecure, and needy, but not all of them will freak out if you don't do something that you said you would do because you suddenly can't.
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Old 12-08-2006, 01:43 AM   #14
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

Well said and very correct. <img src=smilies/werd.gif>
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Old 12-08-2006, 01:35 PM   #15
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

Sorry dude, I misunderstood your advice. It came off as sexist and piggish. I didn't like it and neither would she.
But I do agree. 100%. Earn her respect by standing up for yourself. Dont bend on important issues (important to you). Yeah they may say they like it, but in the end they usually dont.
I am one of those girls. All my ex's were my bitches... and I hated it...and if i didnt, i wouldnt be a very good person.
Girls who date guys who bend to their will either:
1) consider them secretly their inferior and push at them to get them going, see if they will fight.. they will also censor things for you and not really show who they are because they feel the need to carry their man, because he is too weak alone. These girls end up not liking the guy and usually leave them, mostly because they dont like who they are around the guy and ... sometimes because they suck in bed. Taking away a guys aggressive behaviour usually means he ends up being a wimp in bed. This is who i am.
2) they enjoy it and like their men whipped and dont need someone telling them what to do because i'm betting they are pretty aggressive. These women dont usually come along very often... very rare.

Now luckily I've realized this behaviour in myself and have put an end to it, and am now with someone who wont let me walk all over them. But girls dont go out looking for men who will bend to their will, they just find them and do it...
Best thing: finding your equal.

People need to understand relationships arent about sacrifice... you compromise at times, but never, ever...ever.. compromise who you are.

Serena

P.S. I'm not proud that they were my bitches. Embarassed actually, and still am.

P.P.S. So what happened? Update?
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Old 12-09-2006, 02:48 AM   #16
The 9th Sage
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

> People need to understand relationships arent about
> sacrifice... you compromise at times, but never,
> ever...ever.. compromise who you are.

Ah, so at least I know that I might not be so far off in what I was trying to say, from some other perspective.
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Old 12-09-2006, 05:19 AM   #17
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

I think we're basically on the same page, then. Sorry to have sounded sexist, but just understand that I was talking to a fellow guy, and sometimes that's the tone you have to take. Anyhow, why don't you and I both lay off the wordy diaries-board posts, at least until we get an update from Danoz himself.

Hey Danoz, give us the latest! And then go watch this. Assuming nothing really bad happened, it will make you feel better.<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>
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Old 12-09-2006, 10:43 PM   #18
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Default Re: Am I totally out of line?

She drove to campus last night to study with me, and let's just say we made up <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>
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