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Old 01-21-2010, 10:25 PM   #31
Maximum Potion
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Dad's gonna murder the family! Hey a new firefox beta!
I was thinking something similar to that.
As much as I am all for going off topic, I can't help but think that this may not be the right place to do so. Of course, that is only my opinion on the matter.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:27 PM   #32
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Dad's gonna murder the family! Hey a new firefox beta!
I LOLed. (Edit: Actually, come to think of it, what beta?)

Anyways, I tried to think of a response to some of the posts here, but nothing sounded right. I have been reading though, and shawn's suggestion sounds interesting.

As for progress, well dad came home apologetic (as usual), swore off the drink (as usual), and has kept to it for a few days (as usual when he goes this crazy). I don't expect this situation to hold though, so I don't know what's going to happen next.

I've heard the suggestion to move out several times, but:

a) I have no money.
b) If he does get dangerous, then my priority would be to not leave mum alone with him.
c) I don't want to be chased out of my mum's house by a man who has no actual right to be here in the first place. If anyone's leaving, it's him.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:34 PM   #33
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a) I have no money.
b) If he does get dangerous, then my priority would be to not leave mum alone with him.
c) I don't want to be chased out of my mum's house by a man who has no actual right to be here in the first place. If anyone's leaving, it's him.

And your mum has yet to divorce him, why?
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:40 PM   #34
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And your mum has yet to divorce him, why?
Amazingly enough, kindness. This is a man who has nowhere else to go. He seems to hate his 'friends' down the pub, and says he'd rather sleep in the yard than their houses. He also, as I said, has zero income of his own and would be on the streets if it weren't for us.

It is disgusting that in such a situation, he acts like he owns the house and has the right to use money that we can't afford to lose (we're still getting further into debt) to get himself drunk day in and day out.

Still, he increasingly seems to be testing mum's patience. It could be a matter of time before dad is forced to fend for himself. I say why not. He's an adult, not a child, it's time to treat him like one.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:12 PM   #35
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I just think at this point your mum's kindness is doing him more harm than good, and thus enabling him to be a fucktard and get away with it.
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:55 PM   #36
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I just think at this point your mum's kindness is doing him more harm than good, and thus enabling him to be a fucktard and get away with it.
Agreed. Unfortunately, people rarely change unless they have to deal with the hard consequences that come from their actions. As long as your father is living comfortably and his lifestyle is being maintained, he has no reason to change. Now, if he's thrown out on his ass with nowhere to go, he might eventually come to the conclusion that his lifestyle is what brought him there and clean up his act. There's also of course the possibility that he won't and will be homeless for the rest of his life. Fortunately though, he's an adult and that's his problem - not your's or your mother's.
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Old 01-22-2010, 10:10 PM   #37
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Amazingly enough, kindness. This is a man who has nowhere else to go. He seems to hate his 'friends' down the pub, and says he'd rather sleep in the yard than their houses. He also, as I said, has zero income of his own and would be on the streets if it weren't for us.

It is disgusting that in such a situation, he acts like he owns the house and has the right to use money that we can't afford to lose (we're still getting further into debt) to get himself drunk day in and day out.

Still, he increasingly seems to be testing mum's patience. It could be a matter of time before dad is forced to fend for himself. I say why not. He's an adult, not a child, it's time to treat him like one.
The reason she's tolerating him is because like most women she is submissive. She can't help it since it's programmed into our genes though it's not like slavery it's still like a voice in the back of her mind telling her to take care of him and he will protect her. She is literally going to have to be shown how bad she has it or have him hurt her so bad her fear will overcome everything else and self preservation will take over.

I know a couple that are hardcore drunks and he kicks the shit out of her half the time they drink which is always. The thing is if someone tries to hit him she flips out and tries to protect him even though she will probably get punched by him later that night.

Basically women that are willingly staying with drunks won't leave without something massively extreme happening.
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Old 01-22-2010, 11:12 PM   #38
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I just think at this point your mum's kindness is doing him more harm than good, and thus enabling him to be a fucktard and get away with it.
Unfortunately, it may end up doing her more harm than good. The possibilities scare me, personally. I hope they {Lily and her mum) come through this okay. He needs to be kicked out, but it ain't my call. Most alcoholics don't start moving back up till they hit bottom.
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Old 01-23-2010, 02:36 AM   #39
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The reason she's tolerating him is because like most women she is submissive. She can't help it since it's programmed into our genes though it's not like slavery it's still like a voice in the back of her mind telling her to take care of him and he will protect her. She is literally going to have to be shown how bad she has it or have him hurt her so bad her fear will overcome everything else and self preservation will take over.

I know a couple that are hardcore drunks and he kicks the shit out of her half the time they drink which is always. The thing is if someone tries to hit him she flips out and tries to protect him even though she will probably get punched by him later that night.

Basically women that are willingly staying with drunks won't leave without something massively extreme happening.
Ah jeez man, don't play the genetics card. Anyway, yeah...I think it comes down more to personality than genetics or some such nebulous thing like that. Sadly it does seem to take a lot for some people in a situation like this. Sounds like things are coming to a head though, and I just hope you and your mom are ok when the dust clears Lilly. I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but whatever you do, just be careful.
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Old 01-23-2010, 01:58 PM   #40
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I just checked again after reading a news item and it seems I've been upgraded to Firefox 3.6 final. I didn't realize I was even upgraded from final beta a couple days ago. If anyones interested they can check out the new version which seems much more stable and faster.
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