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Old 05-10-2012, 04:44 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3
Default joks for all "Car break trouble"

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?

"I know," said the Branch Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."

"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."

"Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
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Old 09-30-2012, 01:30 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,645

Oh, come on, that is not how it will work.

I work in IT.

If that happened, the branch manager would speak to both engineers "Now, do you know where my blackberry is? I need to call the planner. We need to get a 90 day plan on how to get us out of this situation. Don't worry, he is a great planner. He will plan all the necessary arrangements and make us a bunch of gant charts to let us know how long it will take to get us out. You should take lessons from him. With a great planner, we will always be on track, no matter how many workers we have to do the work!"

"While we wait for a project plan to get us out, I got this great motivational video, it is called who moved my cheese. Its about Mice stuck in a maze. I paid a fortune for it, our years training allowance actually, but it is well worth it. It is even better than that last one about the fish market, you know the one which I gave you the fish stuffy and pen to keep you motivated and working well together."

"This video is a great for you to pass the time with. Oh, did I mention, you really should watch it. We are planning a bunch of layoffs. You see, I know you are great workers, but all are the planners to plan the work we have are expensive. You really need to watch this video. Your cheese is being moved to India."

The Hardware engineer and software engineer look at each other. The hardware engineer states "So thats what an MBA teaches." Software engineer replies "Afraid so, lets get a taxi and leave the dumbass here."

Sadly, i like to say that the motivational video "who moved my cheese" does not exist, but it does. I have had to sit through the dumb video. I wanted to slit my wrists. There is also one about a fish market that sells pens, motivational cards, and stuffy's with it. Had to sit through that one too. Further, any person with an MBA i have met is an out of touch dumbass who usually gets in a managerial position due to the MBA.
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Old 09-30-2012, 01:43 AM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,645

Man, a post from March is near the top - and i replied to it thinking it was fairly new. I guess most of the community has gone elsewhere. Hell, with 2 kids and a 3rd on the way (one starting hockey), I have no time as it is.....I rarely get around here.
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