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Old 06-08-2008, 07:23 PM   #1
coolie
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Default Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

For three reasons:

The fridge.
Mutt's Tarzan act.
The plot.

Thanks George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for ass raping my childhood.

Oh, and the second I saw those prairie dogs at the beginning of the movie, I knew this was going to blow chunks.
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Old 06-08-2008, 08:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

I liked the first half of the movie, especially the warehouse scene, but was disappointed by the second half. By far the worst part of the movie was the army of monkees (the tarzan bit), probably because it reminded me of the Ewoks in ROTJ.

Unlike, say, the first two Star Wars prequels, I thought it captured much of the spirit of the old movies, but was too quick to revert to action movie cliches. Maybe I'm more forgiving, since the original movies didn't figure prominently in my childhood, but I think it's worth seeing for most people. A friend of mine, who was a big fan as a kid, said it "met his expectations". I know he wasn't expecting another ROTLA, so I'd take that as a lukewarm review.

I don't know if it's still being screened, but even more worth seeing is this
http://www.wired.com/entertainment/h...05/diy_raidersremake of the Raiders of the Lost Ark</a>. We took a four-hour road trip to see it (including a question/answer period with the makers) a few years back. Good times.
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Old 06-09-2008, 12:17 AM   #3
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Default Re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

I was ready to give this movie a lot of flexibility and had already determined before seeing it that I would consider it a part of the franchise rather than the series. I let dozens of major issues with the movie slide (including the glaring historical and archaeological inaccuracies); I could even deal with the fridge and the waterfalls. Still, Tarzan Mutt is just too painful to forgive...

At least Harrison Ford was still freakin' amazing. Despite the movie's numerous issues, Indy himself was still Indy.
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:00 AM   #4
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Default Re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

The Indiana Jones universe is about 15% cartoon and has to be accepted on its own terms--absurd stuff is all over the place--but the fridge and the monkeys were gratuitously stupid. Also, don't forget the "DONT WORRY I'LL DRIVE THE CAR ONTO THIS TREE AND IT'LL BOUNCE BACK I KNOW THESE THINGS LOL WHOOOOAAAAAA BOING DEAD COMMUNISTS" and "Let me borrow your knife. I am a lifelong archaeologist and explorer but I totally didn't bring one as I've found them to be unnecessary in my dozens of prior adventures. Compass? Never heard of it."

Overall, though, I think after washing the warm glow of adolescent nostalgia from the first movies this one stacks up just fine. The earlier movies were pretty hamtastic at points.

Good things about this movie:
+ Best villain of the series (Soviet Psydoktor)
+ Shia Lebouf was actually really good
+ Car chases / armored vehicle chases (except for Tarzan moment)
+ Set designs in general (Mayan and 50s US)
+ Hammy dialog
+ Killer ants
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:24 PM   #5
Atma
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Default dont you mean "Indiana Jones and the Jumping of the Crystal Shark"? *nt*

No Tarzans.
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Old 06-09-2008, 11:16 PM   #6
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Default Re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

I though it was good, because I took it for what it is: a movie. The same thing with the "Han Solo shoots first" thing, never understood the hype. Hell, I enjoyed it and had a great time, and it's all I've asked for, end of story.
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Old 06-10-2008, 03:14 PM   #7
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Default Re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

The Star Wars bit you mentioned I didn't understand either, but after seeing the fourth installment I'd have to agree, it was terrible compared to the Last Crusade even. Granted, there's always been parts of the series that are not plausible or perhaps unrealistic. :> But the whole "taking flight in a lead fridge to survive a nuclear explosion" thing is almost less believable than actually finding the Holy Grail only to lose it in a hole :P

> I though it was good, because I took it for what it is: a
> movie. The same thing with the "Han Solo shoots first"
> thing, never understood the hype. Hell, I enjoyed it and had
> a great time, and it's all I've asked for, end of story.
>

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Old 06-11-2008, 03:20 AM   #8
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Default Re: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is pretty much the worst movie ever made

> But the whole "taking flight in a lead fridge to survive a nuclear explosion" thing

That's the point. I didn't want to see a movie where 100 % of it can happen in real life, just wanted to be entertained for 2 hours. I know it can't happen in real life, but it was cool to watch none the less.
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