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Old 08-28-2009, 09:31 PM   #231
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Originally Posted by shawn View Post
LOLZ OMG! It is SO like that too... reminds me of my youth. Thanks for sharing. (well I'm still young but anyways, it was long enough that I can say that.)

"The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves." - Carl Jung

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Old 08-29-2009, 04:54 PM   #232
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Heh, just noticed that Smash Bros comic. That was pretty awesome.
Just can't wait to bomb some Dodongos.

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Old 08-29-2009, 05:26 PM   #233
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Originally Posted by The 9th Sage View Post
Heh, just noticed that Smash Bros comic. That was pretty awesome.
I was pretty sure you would.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:51 AM   #234
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The Perfect Woman

Quotes From The Perfect Woman:
1.) "I'll swallow it all...I just love the taste!"
2.) "Are you sure you've had enough beer?"
3.) "I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!"
4.) "Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tawnee over for a threesome!"
5.) "If I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!"
6.) "I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?"
7.) "You're so sexy when you're hung over."
8.) "I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping."
9.) "Let's subscribe to Hustler."
10.) "Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?"
11.) "Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses."
12.) "I'll be out painting the house."
13.) "I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday, too."
14.) "Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!"
15.) "I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house."
16.) "No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed."
17.) "Your mother did a great job raising you."
18.) "Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself new clubs."
19.) "I understand fully. Our anniversary comes every year for God's sake. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever."
20.) "Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?"
21.) "Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!"
22.) "Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8."
23.) "You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings."
24.) "That was a great fart! Do another one!"
25.) "I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya!"


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Old 08-31-2009, 01:41 AM   #235
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This one made me LMFAO

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Old 09-12-2009, 10:52 AM   #236
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Everyone, you have to go here. I'm not telling what and if you've been here before don't tell and let the others like me be surprised and laugh.



Funny Roadrunner clip "they run a vid ad first just so everyone knows"





A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."



Politics Explained

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism.
Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government.
We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people.
The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his father said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has shit his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother fast asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, he goes to the nanny's room. He's suprised to find the door locked, and he peeks in the keyhole and spys his father making sweet tender love with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."


OMG, so cool.




Last edited by shawn; 09-12-2009 at 12:26 PM.
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Old 09-20-2009, 06:38 PM   #237
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I'd check this.
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Old 09-22-2009, 01:27 AM   #238
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Clown for Kicks (Mendota Heights)
Date: 2009-08-28, 11:12AM CDT
Reply to: sale-hqu43-1346837248@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] I am looking for someone to dress up like a Clown and hang out with me. I would cook you diner – or we could BBQ something. I’m interested in making my neighbor lady wonder. I have already had a man in a panda costume last month – and also had a heard of sheep come in for the day to cut the grass. (sheep do a good job by the way). A clown would be something.
Maybe you could bring some balloons – or make balloon animals to hang in my tree. I’d like to have this done some evening between 6pm and dark. The longer you can stay the better (like if you could stay for the whole 3 hours). Do you have any tricks you could do?
Like I said – I could cook diner and get you drunk – I’d even be willing to pay your cab fare to and from. I don’t have much to offer – and my neighbor lady is driving me nuts – so I want to drive her nuts. If you had a Mime friend – it would be cool to see you two chase each other around the yard or do relay races while I time you.
Let me know your thoughts – open to Men and Women Clowns.




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Old 09-23-2009, 01:44 AM   #239
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Old 10-11-2009, 03:02 AM   #240
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Don't Argue With The Gay Flight Attendant

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."
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