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Old 09-10-2011, 01:34 AM   #1
chiefmonkey
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Default Two peanuts walk into a bar

One was a salted.
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Old 09-10-2011, 01:51 AM   #2
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DOHOHOHOHOHO....
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Old 09-10-2011, 02:48 AM   #3
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Daddy Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato go for a walk. Baby Tomato keeps lagging behind so Daddy goes back, smashes him on the head and says "Ketchup".
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Old 09-10-2011, 07:06 PM   #4
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A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
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Old 09-10-2011, 09:14 PM   #5
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A psychic midget escaped from prison. The headline in the newspaper read "Small Medium At Large".
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Old 09-11-2011, 01:03 AM   #6
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You know why the chicks loved Jesus?

He was hung like THIS. (put arms apart)
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Old 09-11-2011, 01:15 AM   #7
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You know how to get an Amish woman pregnant? Jack off in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
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Old 09-12-2011, 04:43 AM   #8
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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left half of his body?

He's all right now.
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Old 09-12-2011, 07:28 PM   #9
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Women are all the same. Take my wife....

Seriously- take my wife, please.
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Old 09-12-2011, 09:20 PM   #10
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The founders of all the beer companies meet up for a night out at the bar.

When the bartender starts taking their orders, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, Frederick Miller orders a Miller, John Kinder Labatt orders a Labatt's and Arthur Guinness order a club soda.

All the other beer guys stare at Guinness and ask him, "Why didn't you order a Guinness?"

Arthur Guinness says, "If you guys aren't going to have a beer, then neither am I."
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