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Old 09-29-2009, 07:19 PM   #51
The 9th Sage
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Forget that bitch. She treats you like that exactly because you're a nice guy who's treating her right. Don't do that. Read up on PUA skills and you'll get to know some basics that you can see every other man do wrong.
You don't necessarily need to lie to get chicks or anything like that. Just knowing why it is that they go back to the guy that's in your eyes mistreating them can help a lot.
You'll get some clues as to why you behave like you behave in the first place and you can witness it while watching other couples, too. The guy will behave as if every other word the gal says is the funniest thing he's heard so far. He will have overemphasized mimics and generally agree with her on every count or change his mind if something is not to her liking, so as to please her.
So, forget that chick and don't be there for her. It's the best you can possibly do for yourself. You'll have to face that and know there's always some other chick around ready to be banged -- by you, and not some other guy!
You need to reverse the situation, so gals are emotionally dependent on you and not vice versa. To stop dating because of that one girl that gave you the "let's just be friends" is a shit-poor excuse. It will also never ever ever make you score with her. You can still be near her. Still be best friends. But you can be sure, when she needs somebody to fuck, she won't call you. However, she will call you when she needs some idiot to clean up her bedroom afterwards.
It's not really *because* of her, more that I'm tired of the BS and need a break from it (this is me realizing I've become a bit dependent and wanting to get back to the way I was and regain my confidence). Relationships aren't about sex for me either. Sure, I can't say I don't like that part of it, but a relationship based just on sex is kind of meaningless to me.

I also don't become what the other person wants (been there, done that, have absolutely no desire to go that way ever again). If someone doesn't want me for who I really AM, then obviously that's their problem, not mine. I might wonder about it, say "what do I have to do to prove myself?" but really, I know I'm a good guy deserving of a nice lady. If I had to change myself to attain that, what the hell would be the point of it?

Who knows? I could meet a nice person tommorow. I'm really not totally closed to the idea, I've just decided I don't care about the dating scene for now. I'm not going to die, or fall apart or something because I don't have female companionship. I can do just fine on my own, therefore there's no need to stress myself over it.

On top of that, I feel pretty decent today other than a severe lack of sleep. :P
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Old 09-29-2009, 07:53 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by Laternenschein View Post
Forget that bitch. She treats you like that exactly because you're a nice guy who's treating her right. Don't do that. Read up on PUA skills and you'll get to know some basics that you can see every other man do wrong.
You don't necessarily need to lie to get chicks or anything like that. Just knowing why it is that they go back to the guy that's in your eyes mistreating them can help a lot.
You'll get some clues as to why you behave like you behave in the first place and you can witness it while watching other couples, too. The guy will behave as if every other word the gal says is the funniest thing he's heard so far. He will have overemphasized mimics and generally agree with her on every count or change his mind if something is not to her liking, so as to please her.
So, forget that chick and don't be there for her. It's the best you can possibly do for yourself. You'll have to face that and know there's always some other chick around ready to be banged -- by you, and not some other guy!
You need to reverse the situation, so gals are emotionally dependent on you and not vice versa. To stop dating because of that one girl that gave you the "let's just be friends" is a shit-poor excuse. It will also never ever ever make you score with her. You can still be near her. Still be best friends. But you can be sure, when she needs somebody to fuck, she won't call you. However, she will call you when she needs some idiot to clean up her bedroom afterwards.
I agree. Good advice.

A girl who stays with a person who abuses them, or mistreats them is always going to look for that in a man. No matter how nice you are, you can't change a bitch's mindset. She's pretty much fucked for life.

I had a boyfriend who hit me once. Granted I kicked his ass and broke up with him, I will always carry that with me, and fear that whomever I'm with may do the same. I also have a hard time not lying to my boyfriend because I'm scared. I have told my boyfriend everything though, cause he and I have had our talks. We talk everything out, and I found a nice guy who isn't going to hurt me, even if I were to fuck up. (not saying I'd do anything like that)

Find a girl who isn't broken.
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Old 09-29-2009, 09:42 PM   #53
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IWe talk everything out, and I found a nice guy who isn't going to hurt me, even if I were to fuck up. (not saying I'd do anything like that)

Find a girl who isn't broken.
Hey, well good for you. That's how it ought to be in a relationship. And yeah. I'm not a complete fool, I know that any pain I've been through because of all this is in large part my fault as much as hers since I've allowed it to happen.

That's why I'm stepping back, like I said. I don't deserve this BS.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:18 PM   #54
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I agree. Good advice.

A girl who stays with a person who abuses them, or mistreats them is always going to look for that in a man. No matter how nice you are, you can't change a bitch's mindset. She's pretty much fucked for life.
It's usually because their first love treated them like that or they were raised with tough corporal punishment or even tougher and they relate that to love. I had a girlfriend like that once and she acted like she was going to leave and I told her best friend how I felt and asked "If I hit her around will she stay?" She said probably and I took off and said screw this and never looked back. this is that relationship, lol.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:21 PM   #55
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That's why I'm stepping back, like I said. I don't deserve this BS.
Good idea.

Relax. I had similiar experiences. And my story has a happy end.
I've been single for a couple of years after I decided to step back. OK. I had fun with girls, too, but nothing like a relationship.
The first days, weeks and months I felt dizzy. You know, just like you now. I figured out then, that I am free and had every chance I wanted to have. So I focused on my career, worked here and there, just as I liked. Whenever something became boring I quit and started somewhere else. Don't misunderstand this as an advice, please. If you are happy with your job keep it.
I moved about 10 times in less than 6 years, a really expensive hobby, but I "leveled up". I read a lot of books I never even thought of before, I wandered around in the city just to get some new impressions. I traveled as I liked and didn't care about dating. At a certain point I was more selfconfident, felt stronger and this seemed to have an effect on the girls around me. You will see when it happens to you. ;-)

You might feel like taking the first opportunity to restart real dating, but it will be more interesting if you keep cool. Don't talk too much about you and avoid talking about problems or former relationships!

My journey led me to many interesting places, I made my way and like a big coincidence (at least she thinks *hehe*) I met my girlfriend. We live together, have two cats and one hamster! (I never had or wanted pets before). Oh and I quit my last job the year before to create a startup. Sometimes it was hard when money ran out, but now everything is fine.

I'm glad I stepped back years before, because otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now.
Now it's your turn. :thumbup:
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Old 09-30-2009, 03:11 AM   #56
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Now it's your turn. :thumbup:
Heh. I think people are putting too much stock in me. I swear that I have my head on straighter than it probably sounds in this thread. Still though...
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Old 09-30-2009, 03:20 AM   #57
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Heh. I think people are putting too much stock in me. I swear that I have my head on straighter than it probably sounds in this thread. Still though...

I know exactly how you feel. Now you have to meet no expectations, no schedules, no stress, no confusion. You just have to deal with you and you are not likely to fuck yourself over so it's pretty much kick back and do whatever you want, whenever you like.

Pretty good guess huh?
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Old 09-30-2009, 03:52 AM   #58
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Pretty good guess huh?
I suppose. I have really been stressing myself lately.
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Old 09-30-2009, 04:22 AM   #59
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I suppose. I have really been stressing myself lately.

Remember the difference between your hand and a woman. Your hand never says no, it always knows what you like, and never cuts you off.

Just hope it doesn't fall asleep on you in the middle since that is the ultimate rejection.
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:39 AM   #60
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Remember the difference between your hand and a woman. Your hand never says no, it always knows what you like, and never cuts you off.

Just hope it doesn't fall asleep on you in the middle since that is the ultimate rejection.
I think I'm just going to type out my reaction upon reading this verbatim:

"Oh...jesus, Shawn."
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