Zophar's Message Domain

Go Back   Zophar's Message Domain > General Chat > Talk of the Town

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-09-2009, 09:39 PM   #181
Shadow
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 108
Default

Soldiers come back from Vietnam and receive a cash award for the longest distance of their body. The first one is 1.75 metres and gets 175000 $. The seargent gratulates him and calls the next. He is more intelligent and raises his arm. He gets over 230000 $.
The third one is black and around 2 metres high. The seargent says: "okay. You are tall, raise your arm and you get very rich". The soldier says: "no! Just take the distance between my two balls!". The seargent shakes his head:"You must be kidding! You are so strong and clever, why do you want less???". "Just do it, please" the soldier replies. Then the measurement starts at the left one..."where is your other...you know???" -"Vietnam, now pay me in cash"

(sorry for the poor translation ).
Shadow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 03:28 AM   #182
Maximum Potion
Staff (news - ROM hacking/translations)
 
Maximum Potion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Châteauguay, Québec, Canada
Posts: 625
Default

Haha I've heared that one before but it's still funny :P
__________________
Metroid: Other M. June 27th, 2010.
Delayed - August 31st, 2010.
Maximum Potion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 03:43 AM   #183
The 9th Sage
Senior Member
 
The 9th Sage's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: NY State in the US
Posts: 17,439
Default

Haha, that IS pretty good.
__________________
Just can't wait to bomb some Dodongos.
---
http://www.xanga.com/zeldadd

Twitter
The 9th Sage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2009, 07:31 AM   #184
Reaper man
Member
 
Reaper man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 5,409
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maximum Potion View Post
Wanna go to Antarctica?
I'm staying the hell away from Africa, that's for sure. I can only imagine the geothermal activity going on there.
__________________
Reaper man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 06:27 PM   #185
shawn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 9,941
Default

shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2009, 05:21 AM   #186
shawn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 9,941
Default



This image is almost hypnotic for some reason.



shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2009, 05:22 AM   #187
shawn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 9,941
Default

Potential and Reality


A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."

Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"

"OK" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, shit mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops"

WHACK!!

He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice,

"And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be fucking Coco Pops."

Books You Probably Shouldn't Buy Your Kids This Christmas


This has a bunch of images so I linked instead of posting all the images. It is pretty funny either way.

http://www.onmylist.com/category/boo...is_Christmas_1
shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 11:06 PM   #188
shawn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 9,941
Default

shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2009, 11:45 PM   #189
shawn
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 9,941
Default

Funny rollercoaster faces.

http://www.guidespot.com/guides/funn...aster_pictures
shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-02-2009, 08:58 AM   #190
Isildur
Senior Member
 
Isildur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,339
Default unfortunate names

Ah URLs, the signposts of our times.
Some unfortunate signage:

-Morningwood Farm
Down there, they grow 'em fresh.

-Proabably home to the worst-teased (by other schools) high school students on Earth: Analy High School
(Seriously, why don't they change the name of the place?)
I can't help but notice that the first news item is "Analy Closing and Opening". It's like they're trying to make it worse.

-At some point, Experts Exchange wisely broke up their URL with a hyphen.
Murphy Brothers Exposition, Events Exposition, and mp3shits.com/ have yet to follow suit.

-After being the butt of many cracks due to lists like this one, Mole Station Nursery changed their address to one less likely to invite prank emails.
__________________
Holding out for Hostess Snack Cakes...
Isildur is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:47 AM.

Contact Us - Zophar's Domain - Archive - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.