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Old 07-18-2004, 02:30 AM   #9
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Albany, NY
Posts: 4,014
Default 7/17/04: Morton's steakhouse

Damn... they really don't give you much of an idea how classy this place is from the outside - this is the sort of place where it's effectively fancy-clothes only. While it isn't black-tie-only, it's best to be wearing something like Dockers. The people at the restaurant didn't look down on us or treat us any worse than they were the other customers, but we could tell just by looking around that this wasn't some Applebee's joint, and you most certainly did not get free refills with your soda (I even felt bad just asking for a soda).

The service was absolutely unparalleled; I've never been treated so well by a waiter in my life. The food? Exquisite, the steak was absolutely breathtaking, and I can say without exaggeration that it's the best steak I've had in my life. However, one thing that's rather telling about the place is the fact that the fact that the entrees do not come with any kind of side dish - that's extra. This isn't to say that the entrees are cheap, though. Far from it, I practically pissed myself when I saw the menu - the cheapest appetizer was eight bucks, the cheapest steak was 40 bucks, the lobster was 23 bucks per pound, and the double porterhouse steak was a whopping 84 bucks. All things considered, our three-person meal ended up cashing in at $180.44, and that's not including a tip.

One small joke that my family and I had going while we were dining was that if the diners said that the food wasn't absolutely excellent when they were asked (three different people asked us if everything was alright, and it most certainly was), you'd hear one of those record-scratch sounds and everything would go quiet. The partner to that joke was that in this sort of place, if you asked for ketchup to go with your steak, yoiu'd hear the record-scratch, a woman would scream and then faint, a dish would shatter in the kitchen, and the chef would throw down his fork, grab a meat cleaver, vault over the partition separating the dining area from the kitchen, and chase you out.

Anyway, long story short, go there, but be prepared to spend a fuckload. <img src=smilies/errrr.gif>

<P ID="signature">
"Kupo, motherfucker!! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?"</P>
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