Thread: Mental health
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Old 04-02-2009, 01:08 AM   #23
Shadow
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 108
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I'm slow... in decisions. And most people think that's a weakness. They tell me to act "now". But in fact I consider the best options and take my time. Is this really so bad?

Sure, in my car as driver I react and act very quickly within seconds. It means stress and high concentration. After a couple of hours I get very tired. I suppose it's normal.

I'm a freelancer. It's my job to get things done and solve problems of my customers. Most customers are a little bit surprised how much time I calculate in my offers. But after the first project they are satisfied with the results. Today one of them came to me with a big problem and no time left. He asked me whether I could take a look and insert a timeslot. Well... I was expecting this kind of task and interruption. So I solved the problem without losing time on the actual project.

I believe the pressure on people is causing stress because most of us get caught by it unexpectedly. It's no fault of an individual if he is not prepared. But I think that we don't give others enough time to get things done. We create a picture of how things should work in a optimum way and get too much influence by fear. Fear the competitors could take an opportunity away, fear the neighbour gets a better car earlier than us, fear we could be not good enough....

I say: take your time and give time.

Who told us to live like a Porsche on the "Autobahn" (Interstate Highway... w/o speedlimit) ???

Well I'm not perfect or anything like that. I had to learn my lessons and I'm still learning.
Ask yourself whether you need something or not. Ask yourself whether a reaction is really necessary. And accept that you have weaknesses and fears. Both are good to have. They remind you of being human. You can take this as a chance to use your weaknesses in a better way.

In my case it's my "slow decision" weakness. I learned to optimize my thinking process and use all kinds of alternatives before acting on the problem. So in the end it takes me longer to decide but in the acutal process I'm much faster.
I'm also "cooler" when all others around me get panic. Instead of being part of the problem I prefer being part of the solution. I reflect all alternatives and then make a suggestion. But to have alternatives you have to accept. You have to accept all info without prejudice. I never say "ahh... that's crap. I don't need this info."
Listen to others and watch out! We get flooded every day with tons of info. When you don't know what matters then trust your feelings and your instinct.
Believe me. Your best advisor is just looking in your mirror in the morning. You wouldn't lie to you, would you?

Most people hide behind a facade. They think they can hide their emotions. Well... some people can. But I can't. I'm no big actor in Hollywood. If I'm pissed you can see it in my eyes and hear it in my voice. But sometimes I'm just tired and that look is similiar to being annoyed So don't judge someone by his look please. I get upset when I get asked whether I'm pissed or anything, when I'm ok. And I get angry when someone doesn't believe me when I say "I'm fine".

Accept yourself and accept others.
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