the saga continues

[SwampGas]

i don't care if you don't care...i'm using the board as my diary...

so after that whole ordeal happened this morning, she called back a few hours later...around like noon. apologized for saying all that terrible stuff and hanging up...then asked if i wanted to go out to lunch. since i didn't sleep yet, i was obviously too tired to go out. she said if i change my mind, i should call her.

phone rings 10 mins later...she asks if i changed my mind..i said no. ok bye bye..

she calls me that night around 11pm (she worked until 11) and leaves me a voice mail saying "i only have 1 question...do you mind if i wear the rings you bought me? you don't even have to call me back...just send a text message if you want."

so i sent her an sms saying "what about the rings?"

no response yet...i guess she went to sleep already.

she obviously wants to be with me, otherwise she wouldn't keep calling me back.

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[Octocrook]

> she obviously wants to be with me, otherwise she wouldn't
> keep calling me back.
>

Keep in mind that wanting to be with you and wanting to be honest with you are 2 different things. If it's too much and you decide to get back with her, be very cautious. I would suggest trying to forget her. From what you've said before, she sounds like a "lying bitch" to me.

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[SwampGas]

> Keep in mind that wanting to be with you and wanting to be
> honest with you are 2 different things. If it's too much
> and you decide to get back with her, be very cautious. I
> would suggest trying to forget her. From what you've said
> before, she sounds like a "lying bitch" to me.

i'm so bummed out right now. woke up at 8pm...ran right to the phone to check for messages. called a friend, had some alcohol...saw her voice mail come in...couldn't think about anything else. i had to leave.

so here i am sitting at home with that weird feeling in the middle of my stomach...that "i want her back" feeling...you really don't know what it's like to feel it until you do, but when you do, then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

right now, all i want to do is find her, grab her, hug hug hug, kiss kiss kiss, and then lay down with her and just cuddle for hours.

i think it's a good thing she went to bed early...because if she didn't and i saw her, i'd do exactly that.

it's a totally weird mood i'm in...i have a lot of store work to do, a lot of coding to do, i have yet to eat....but none of it seems to matter right now. it's like i don't even have the energy--or don't even care--to get up and do stuff.

i'm not a freaking nutball, so it can't be depression...but damn am i bummed out and hurt.

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[Octocrook]

> > Keep in mind that wanting to be with you and wanting to be
>
> > honest with you are 2 different things. If it's too much
> > and you decide to get back with her, be very cautious. I
> > would suggest trying to forget her. From what you've said
>
> > before, she sounds like a "lying bitch" to me.
>
> i'm so bummed out right now. woke up at 8pm...ran right to
> the phone to check for messages. called a friend, had some
> alcohol...saw her voice mail come in...couldn't think about
> anything else. i had to leave.
>
> so here i am sitting at home with that weird feeling in the
> middle of my stomach...that "i want her back" feeling...you
> really don't know what it's like to feel it until you do,
> but when you do, then it hits you like a ton of bricks.
>
> right now, all i want to do is find her, grab her, hug hug
> hug, kiss kiss kiss, and then lay down with her and just
> cuddle for hours.
>
> i think it's a good thing she went to bed early...because if
> she didn't and i saw her, i'd do exactly that.
>
> it's a totally weird mood i'm in...i have a lot of store
> work to do, a lot of coding to do, i have yet to eat....but
> none of it seems to matter right now. it's like i don't
> even have the energy--or don't even care--to get up and do
> stuff.
>
> i'm not a freaking nutball, so it can't be depression...but
> damn am i bummed out and hurt.
>

I know the feeling cuz I've had it before. I never acted on it though. She practically cheated on me, so I was fed up with her pretty quick. Still, there was lots of long days where I was feeling incomplete and that being with her would make me feel better. Yea, maybe it would...but like a drug, it wouldn't last long, and I'd wind up feeling like shit in the end. I kept that in the back of my mind every time I thought about her, and I never allowed myself to get sucked in by her again.

Oh yea, and the guy she dumped me for...she cheated on him TWICE. If I gave in, I would have been in his shoes.

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[SwampGas]

> I know the feeling cuz I've had it before. I never acted on
> it though. She practically cheated on me, so I was fed up
> with her pretty quick. Still, there was lots of long days
> where I was feeling incomplete and that being with her would
> make me feel better. Yea, maybe it would...but like a drug,
> it wouldn't last long, and I'd wind up feeling like shit in
> the end. I kept that in the back of my mind every time I
> thought about her, and I never allowed myself to get sucked
> in by her again.
>
> Oh yea, and the guy she dumped me for...she cheated on him
> TWICE. If I gave in, I would have been in his shoes.

in august of 2000, she kissed another person because she was starved for attention...i apparently was working too hard.

i just have this HUGE thing with her being around other guys...even if we're broken up. i can't take another guy being with her.

what really pisses me off is that she was SO quick to do sexual things with me...yet she never did it with any other guy. she kept telling me she KNEW i was the one...her mother told her i was the one...and she was ONLY having sex with ONE guy in her life.

well, we took each others' virginity...so....

i still have absolutely no desire to be with anyone else. ever. i don't even react when women blatently try. it's been 2 days since we separated and i've already had opportunities...but i just can't take them.

bah...i'm babbling along again in a depressive stupor.

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