The funny link/joke/image repository

May I contribute?

I found this pic from the darkest pit of the internet. Thought I'd share. :p
Children's Books You'll Never See

  • You Are Different and That's Bad
  • Pop! Goes The Hamster... And Other Great Microwave Games
  • Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets
  • Babar Meets the Taxidermist
  • Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
  • The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
  • Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom'sPurse
  • Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
  • The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
  • How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
  • Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear
  • Strangers Have the Best Candy
  • The Little Sissy Who Snitched
  • Some Kittens Can Fly!
  • Getting More Chocolate on Your Face
  • Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
  • Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
  • The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!
  • The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
  • Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
  • Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Become Friends
  • That's it, I'm Putting You up for Adoption
  • The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
  • Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
  • You Were an Accident
  • Your Nightmares Are Real
  • Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
  • Eggs, Toilet Paper and Your School
Things To Do In An Elevator

  • When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
  • Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
  • Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
  • Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
  • Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
  • Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
  • Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
  • Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
  • Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
  • Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
  • Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
  • Ask, "Did you feel that?"
  • Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
  • When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
  • Swat at flies that don't exist.
  • Tell people that you can see their aura.
  • Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
  • Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
  • Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask,"Got enough air in there?"
  • Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  • Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM," and back away slowly.
  • Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
  • Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
  • Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  • Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
  • Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
Top Bottom