Smart or not smart?


New member
Truth be told, I don't know how well what I did went over with this girl, and she might not even have remembered this today.

The girl I WAS chasing and stopped (AC) again has shown interest and I have been more or less going with the flow. Part of that is not calling her daily like I was, and not much seeking to try and set up dates with her, and I shouldn't have to do either...we've known each other for 3 months and only seen each other 4 times now, with about 7 or 8 times of plans falling through, all AC's doing. Anyhow, I wasn't sure whether or not it was really her showing interest or her friend J showing interest through her. After all, it was J who has instigated 3 of the 4 times we've seen each other, and thus far we haven't done anything together without J.

So last night was the 4th time seeing each other, and we had a great time. AC was fucking gorgeous as usual, more so than usual as she had dyed her hair a dark brown and, coupled with the goth outfit, was sexy as shit. We were all a LOT more interactive last night than in all 3 nights combined. Like our 2nd time seeing each other, we again went to a bar with a band playing with J, J's mom, and a bunch of her mom's friends. This time however, we weren't right next to the band, so I could actually converse with AC throughout the night (and J when she wasn't dancing). God damn what a difference that and alcohol made...AC and I were definitely more talkative, which makes sense since we're both shy. That 2nd time we went out, we were in our own little zone/shell, not touching or doing much of anything, very little talking, etc., more or less just watching the band because we had little choice. This time we're totally talking, joking with each other, touching each other (like shoves n grabs n shit) and otherwise being somewhat flirtacious, overall having a very fun time.

Interestingly enough, she disclosed a "secret" to me, that J thinks I'm really cute and that was why she was enthusiastic about me coming. I don't mind except that J has a long distance bf, and she is the kind of girl that would fuck around even if he was a short distance bf. As cool as J is, I am not interested in her beyond friends, if anything because I'm really really interested in AC. Still, tonight and in nights prior, J has repeatedly joked about AC and I getting together, giving me the impression at least that she is interested in that happening, which is fucking GREAT. She's a really dominant and outgoing person, so her help in this has probably literally save even just my friendship with AC from burning out, with AC's apprehension coming across as lack of interest most of the time.

So yea, we all went to Denny's afterwards, still having a grand ol time talking and joking around. AC and J are both drunk with AC barely able to walk for most of the night, and I was only buzzed as I had only 2 and a half drinks (they were strong and I cugged the 2, but I'm big, am an experienced drinker, and have alcoholics blood). We went back to J's house, where AC's car was as well. AC at that point was still having trouble walking but was sobering up some. J and I were not wanting to let her drive, but J had nowhere for AC to sleep at her house, and there was no way I could get AC and her car to her house with my car, as J wasn't in shape to drive either. So I drove along with AC, sort of drivingly escorting her back to her house. She did drive fine, which was definitely good and a relief. As I walked her up to her house door, we were both expressing how much fun we had had that night, and by the time she got in her house, I ended up hugging her 3 times, lol. No kisses though. I went home, got home at 4:30 AM, wasn't tired so stayed up doing domain name research, and decided that there was something I just couldn't let go, but didn't want to directly tell AC, afraid of her reaction. She pretty much knows how I feel about her, but I needed to make it more real.

So, here's what I did, and please tell me if this was stupid or not. She was going to have to get up and take her dad to the airport the next morning at 9 AM (so was going to get only 4 hours sleep that night, yikes!). Every single time in the past that I have called her while she was asleep, she didn't answer. So...I called her at 5:30 AM intending to leave a message. Ended up reaching her on the phone and she was definitely fucking tired sounding. I was expressing apology and telling her I meant to leave her a message, but knew my ass was going to have to just tell her. I was like "When we went to your house today and saying goodbye to each other, I was really wanting to kiss you, but since you were drunk, I didn't do it because I didn't want to take advantage." Silence...I say "I just wanted you to know that" and she said "ok". I apologized again for waking her up and said goodnight.

So...was this smart or not? Should I have left that night as it was and waited to see how things would be the next time we saw each other, or was it good to let her know that? I know it's probably hard to say without having experienced what I have with her and knowing her, but I'm as clueless about this stuff as can be. I've only had 1 girlfriend ever and she initiated everything, and I'm always too much of a shy pussy to make moves on anyone else I wanted to.

king killa

Active member
there was nothing wrong with telling her, but I wouldn't have called at that hour, especially if she needed as much sleep as she could get that night.


New member
The thing you called her at 5:30 in the morning to tell her, you would've been better off telling her in person.

Something important that most guys never think about is that if you have feelings for a girl, for crying out loud, tell her as soon as you can, so you're not wandering around like a zombie, smitten with puppy love that most likely won't amount to anything. In most cases, guys like you wait too long to tell someone how they feel, and by then it's too late.

I never have understood the whole song and dance of pining over someone who doesn't know how you feel about them.


New member
I don't think it mattered a bit. She was probably so hungover from 4 hours of sleep after drinking she was probably saying to herself "Oh my god, whatever dude, just get off the damn phone so i can get some more sleep before I pick up my dad...", and probably thought little or nothing of what you said.

I'm not saying she won't think about it next time she sees you, but it was probably a dumb idea to call her when she has only a limited time to sleep before waking up, AND after drinking.
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