I guess every dark cloud has a silver lining. Then again, what if the dark cloud is soooo huge that you can barely see the silver lining, if at all?
This girl initials AC, the same one I mentioned in my last "frustrated with girl" post, is driving me up a fucking wall. It's hard to be friends with her because she blows me off soooo fucking much. I think now it's 2 for 7 success in seeing her...2 successful, 4 flake-outs (2 where she was to call me back and never did) and 1 never-committed cancellation of plans (she kept saying "I don't know" until the night before, when she said she couldn't because of other plans). The problem is, I really really like her. It's not so much that I like her as she is now. I like the potential that could develop between us. We have soooo much in common, and we've had conversations over 6 hours long before and seemed to really hit it off at first. So even when she started this bullshit, I was optimistic that I could get past it, partially because I believed it was her shyness getting in her way (I did meet her online after all).
Tonight however, it's very clear...things will never work between us. I've found a 2nd inconsistency with her, and it's a fucking HUGE one. The 1st inconsistency, which I decided to let slide for whatever reason, was that she had told me that she wasn't into drugs, then did GFB the night I met her in person! Very bad, but she puked so much that she pretty much learned her lesson with it. Her 2nd inconsistency is that she's shy and is very guarded with people she meets for the first time. Yea, tell that to the guy she was with last night.
So she called me up tonight and I asked her about last night, when she blew me off for the 4th time, completely forgetting to call me back after she said she would. Ironically, I'm glad I didn't go. It's funny because her convo with me is much like my message on here about her!
Apparently, she knew this guy online for about a month and really wanted to meet him. She met him last night, going out with him and a friend to a hookah bar. They apparently hit it off. To boot, he's "totally hot", and he's forward with her while telling her he's not a fast mover. He told her he never kisses on the first date, and well...one thing leads to another they kiss, and I guess later on in the night are making out, and he's feeling her up and stuff. She says she stopped him from doing that and he said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I don't want to be like all the rest." So well, apparently as she's telling this to me, she's saying that she believes he's a total fake and is trying to play her (no duh?), and that she was pissed off about it and she hates all men, will never find the right one, etc etc....all the stuff I hear from my sister 24/7.
I'm a very forgiving person, and I mean VERY. I've forgiven her for blowing me off as many times as she has, leaving things in the air until the last minute, not even saying she's sorry sometimes when she cancels shit on me. I've forgiven her for all of it, probably MISTAKENLY, but I am one of the kindest people I know, to my own fucking demise. Still, if there's one thing I cannot take, it's a liar. She's talking shit about him for playing her aka misrepresenting himself as a slow mover and being the complete opposite. Well, she should maybe check her own self on that. That's all I will devote my time to saying about that.
So yea, this whole shit with her has been one huge mess. I'm still debating whether I should even try remaining friends with her with the lack of "friendly respect" she shows to me. The tiny ass silver lining is that I can move on. Move on to what though? It seemed like a slam dunk possibility at a beautiful friendship and more. I think I've completely lost a sense in other people. I don't even know where to begin on how to find someone to have a relationship after this debacle. I'm at a complete loss...maybe I should find someone ugly with nothing in common with me at all and just make sure she likes me. I could have taken those opportunities a few times in my life and always wanted more. Maybe I'm doomed to a life of making someone else happy at the sacrifice of my own happiness. My selflessness is already ruling the rest of my life...why not my love life too?
This girl initials AC, the same one I mentioned in my last "frustrated with girl" post, is driving me up a fucking wall. It's hard to be friends with her because she blows me off soooo fucking much. I think now it's 2 for 7 success in seeing her...2 successful, 4 flake-outs (2 where she was to call me back and never did) and 1 never-committed cancellation of plans (she kept saying "I don't know" until the night before, when she said she couldn't because of other plans). The problem is, I really really like her. It's not so much that I like her as she is now. I like the potential that could develop between us. We have soooo much in common, and we've had conversations over 6 hours long before and seemed to really hit it off at first. So even when she started this bullshit, I was optimistic that I could get past it, partially because I believed it was her shyness getting in her way (I did meet her online after all).
Tonight however, it's very clear...things will never work between us. I've found a 2nd inconsistency with her, and it's a fucking HUGE one. The 1st inconsistency, which I decided to let slide for whatever reason, was that she had told me that she wasn't into drugs, then did GFB the night I met her in person! Very bad, but she puked so much that she pretty much learned her lesson with it. Her 2nd inconsistency is that she's shy and is very guarded with people she meets for the first time. Yea, tell that to the guy she was with last night.
So she called me up tonight and I asked her about last night, when she blew me off for the 4th time, completely forgetting to call me back after she said she would. Ironically, I'm glad I didn't go. It's funny because her convo with me is much like my message on here about her!
Apparently, she knew this guy online for about a month and really wanted to meet him. She met him last night, going out with him and a friend to a hookah bar. They apparently hit it off. To boot, he's "totally hot", and he's forward with her while telling her he's not a fast mover. He told her he never kisses on the first date, and well...one thing leads to another they kiss, and I guess later on in the night are making out, and he's feeling her up and stuff. She says she stopped him from doing that and he said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I don't want to be like all the rest." So well, apparently as she's telling this to me, she's saying that she believes he's a total fake and is trying to play her (no duh?), and that she was pissed off about it and she hates all men, will never find the right one, etc etc....all the stuff I hear from my sister 24/7.
I'm a very forgiving person, and I mean VERY. I've forgiven her for blowing me off as many times as she has, leaving things in the air until the last minute, not even saying she's sorry sometimes when she cancels shit on me. I've forgiven her for all of it, probably MISTAKENLY, but I am one of the kindest people I know, to my own fucking demise. Still, if there's one thing I cannot take, it's a liar. She's talking shit about him for playing her aka misrepresenting himself as a slow mover and being the complete opposite. Well, she should maybe check her own self on that. That's all I will devote my time to saying about that.
So yea, this whole shit with her has been one huge mess. I'm still debating whether I should even try remaining friends with her with the lack of "friendly respect" she shows to me. The tiny ass silver lining is that I can move on. Move on to what though? It seemed like a slam dunk possibility at a beautiful friendship and more. I think I've completely lost a sense in other people. I don't even know where to begin on how to find someone to have a relationship after this debacle. I'm at a complete loss...maybe I should find someone ugly with nothing in common with me at all and just make sure she likes me. I could have taken those opportunities a few times in my life and always wanted more. Maybe I'm doomed to a life of making someone else happy at the sacrifice of my own happiness. My selflessness is already ruling the rest of my life...why not my love life too?
