Screwed up weekend.

G

GeminiMan

Member
Okay, so, on Friday morning I found out at school that a friend of mine had been killed in a car accident the previous night. I've never really known someone that just... died before. After just hanging around the library with other friends and friends of hers for a few hours, I decided to just go home because I sure as hell didn't wanna do any work at school. Since then, everyone has just been hanging out like crazy. I've barely been home the last few days, and my cellphone has gotten more calls and texts than I ever have since getting it. It's just crazy... everyone copes with the loss by hanging out and having a good old time, in which we pretty much forget all about the tragedy. But, if I'm alone and trying to go to sleep or something, it's so hard not to think about it. It's like I've had the highest highs and lowest lows I've had in quite some time all in a couple days. I guess the counselors that talked to us on Friday were right--it's just one big emotional rollercoaster. It still feels so unreal though. I'm never gonna see her around school, or at a party, or hang out with her ever again. I don't know what the funeral is gonna be like... I've been fortunate enough to never know someone closely that died... so that will be my frist. But umm, yeah. Pardon the random thoughts, but I just felt like I needed to write some stuff down somewhere, and this seemed like a good place to do it.

At least the Super Bowl is today. Time for the freakin' Seahawks to (hopefully) dominate.
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Man... I'm sorry to hear that; you have my condolences.
Different people deal with grief differently, so I'm not really sure what to advise, but if you're like me, perhaps it might help (even if it sounds kind of clichéd) to try refocus your thoughts from how she died to how she lived, and remember with warm grattitude the good memories she left with you. That's how I try to think, when I think of my grandparents, who passed away a couple of years ago.
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That really sucks...not sure what to say other than good luck...something like that is hard for anybody, at least it seems like you and your friends are in it together...that goes a long way.
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man, first thing, you hanging out is a good thing, im gona use this example and belive me it is comparable,

(hope i can finish my post i take sleep pills and its about to start Full effect combined with the neocitran!)

like when you hit your tumb with a hammer you normaly lookaway in pain and thinkabout unrelated stuff for about a minut or so, next you look at your wound, so now you think first aid kit, next go go apply the first aid kit and go easy on your self till it heals.

now like i said, you are focusing on other stuff now than her death, sins you are in the peak of the pain you look away, can you imagine looking and focusing on how it hurts after hitting your tumb? (assuming it thorn in half) you would faint and the pain would double, now 1st thing and rule try all you can to give your attention on other stuff for a while and away from negative thoughts, and if you do think of her think about good stuff, but yeah thinking how nice she was and a good person won't help sins it would just prove that she should not of died at all, so just think "i know your in a better place, i wich you all the possible joy, and i am greatfull for the moments we have been together and the times you have been there for me, i just hope you feel the same whay" and remember if she was a good friend she has to feel that way too toward all of her friends and wiching them the same, i know im going on and on, but has she will never be there again in the flesh she must remain alive in your heart. but the thing is don't tackle the acceptance part till you are ready to do so, for now continue to chill out, you are in the peak of the pain and all you will do if you go at it now, you will get deppressed and cry about it and all the unusualy felt emotions will be felt so... just chill out till you get out of the peak of that pain. you will know it when you don't get that troath squwizing feeling (i dunno how write sqweese, squise, like squish but darrr... i suck its the message that is important, and specialy in this moment).

well remember its not to forget that you must aim, but to accept to then be able to forget, but after accepting you can allways remember her with a smile on your face instead of a sorrow filled expression...any ways.

enough about my "shitty shit" chat you can all put my words in a bag of dead cats and trow it down a mountain if you don't feel that its the thing for you but if any of that helped you well im glad, because i have been trough a lot my self and its not always has easy has these words pops up, so you must hang on and live to do good in life, and never regret this and that that you had to give away to help becaus if it helped that person to get by a bit ferther in life well there is no regret to have! don't let go man!<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>
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Whelp, funeral was yesterday. Double funeral for her and her dad. It was a nice "goodbye"... the church that it was at was completely packed, with people standing, and I think it seats like 1600 people. Although some parts were really sad, it was good to remember some of the good qualities about her that were brought up by various speakers. Anyways, thanks for all your support. It's quite appreciated.
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