The 9th Sage
New member
Ah, sorry. I'll keep that in mind.
PYP Thread! Must see! L@@K! Can't Miss!
- Thread starter Xeon3D
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Ah, sorry. I'll keep that in mind.
You mean gay and/or transvestite don't you?
Transsexual is someone that has undergone sex change surgery.
Transvestites dress and act like the opposite sex.
Homosexual is someone that is attracted to the same sex and may feel also that they are the opposite sex.
Also on a lighter note though not gay I do feel sometime like a lesbian trapped in a mans body, lol.
Lillymon
New member
No, no, no.
Transsexual is someone who feels like they want to be the opposite sex completely and permanently. Pre-op and post-op respectively are the terms used for transsexuals before and after gender reassignment surgery.
Transvestites feel they want to dress and act like the opposite sex, but only at certain times and in certain places, they are otherwise happy with their gender identity.
Homosexual is someone attracted to the same sex, nothing else is inferred or implied, participation in the 'gay lifestyle' is purely optional.
Transsexual is actually the word the psychiatrist I talked to used, and I feel it to be accurate. This is not a part-time thing, I want to be a woman 24/7. As for sexual orientation, I currently feel attraction to women but not men. The term 'gynephile' may be more appropriate given my situation.
The 9th Sage
New member
Hmm...it sounds like you have it at least fairly straight in your head, but still, it's gotta be kind of odd for you at times. When I think about it and try to put myself in your shoes I can just imagine how confusing it probably is sometimes.
Ok, now here some information that most people that are considering the operation either ignor or don't consider. If you get the operation and you meet a straight man will you tell him because if you do see any Jerry Springer episode for the result. If I was kissing someone and they told me they were once a guy I would basically run the other way. I'm just being truthful. The reason is most men though they accept the gay lifestyle would never date someone that was once a man or have sex with them. To me it would be like having sex with a guy in disguise no matter if there was no penis and a vagina and breasts. This is a bluntly honest opinion. I would probably feel nauseous if someone told me that after even kissing them to be totally honest.
Now here's the catch with the operation. If you tell your lover I'd guess 98% would not take it well and there are some that might actually have a violent reaction though it may happen after they leave even over a week later. By having an operation you will probably find mostly bisexual men would be open to having a relationship though there are straight men that would but very very few.
Now after the operation gay men would also be out since they don't want women, they did dudes. I fnd the operation thing scary at best since it could very well lead to a life alone for the most part and a huge medical bill also.
The reason I figured you were gay was because gay men feel like they are women and so they have relationships with men and it would seem instead of getting an operation that finding a very masculine gay man would be a more logical conclusion, at least in my mind it would.
This is just my view on things and my very honest and hopefully I made you think about this more in a view you may not have realized. If you get the operation I wish you well but I just wanted you to know the opinion of a straight guy.
On a final note this to a lot of men as in if a girl told him she was a guy after sex "not me, not that violent" would be like finding out the chick from the bar has a dick and balls. About 1/2 the men I've known would first be repulsed and then want to cut their balls off. This is true since I've heard these conversations before and most men feel like they've been raped emotionally and want instant revenge since unlike women they do not think it's their fault. So remember be honest and don't get to close before telling if you have this operation since you will have betrayed a trust in a majority of mens eyes since this is absolutely vital information to share.
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Reaper man
Member
Lillymon
New member
I think I've considered almost all eventualities after many hours of online research and more than a few sleepless nights. Nonetheless, I'll see if you bring up anything new and/or unexpected.
I'm pretty open here now. If I were passing as female, I would be open to anyone I really thought was hitting on me. Honesty is the best policy there I think.
Intellectual agreement is a big part about having any sort of relationship with me. If anyone is really that put off by who I am, then we were clearly on different planets to start with.
Be careful about who you're kissing then, I've seen some transwomen who you would never spot.
As I said, I'm not really interested in men. Apparently hormone therapy can have an effect on that, but assuming that doesn't happen, then it's only women I'm looking at. Still that doesn't really change much about this.
But again, if I'm actually in any sort of relationship, I'm going to have vetted them quite early on for bad reactions to any of this. I don't plan to end up in situation like this.
It could lead to life alone, but then I'm not a big 'relationship type' anyway. If it happens, it happens.
Also, you forget the fact that I live in Britain. Thanks to the fact that I live in the civilized world, we have universal health care. No insurance, no quibbling. If I convince the NHS that I am a transsexual, they pay for gender reassignment surgery and most likely some other peripheral stuff (don't know exactly what yet). Any 'custom work' like facial feminization surgery would come out of my own pocket, but I hope to either avoid them completely or get such stuff done a long way in the future.
Gay if you consider me a woman, straight if you consider me a man. That's why I prefer the term 'gynephile', because it simply means 'attracted to women'. The opposite is 'androphile'.
Rarely! Very rarely! Most gay men feel like they are men who are attracted to men!
I'm having trouble following most of this post, but trying to link transsexuality and homosexuality is a complete fallacy. One is gender identity, the other is sexual orientation, they are two complete independent things.
Frankly, it didn't. To be honest, most of your post is just misunderstandings and complete fallacies. I've been thinking about this since circa 1995, and studying it for most of my online life. I also sometimes talk with other transsexuals, and learn a lot about who they are and how they live. The ones you see in parades are a flamboyant minority who are completely unrepresentative, though I welcome anything that tries to get the public to think about transexuality and learn more about the subject. Misinformation seems rampant.
I welcome your opinion, but you clearly know very little about this subject.
This does seem a bit rude really. Do you need my CV as well? My full medical history? Each women you have sex with could have one of over a dozen sexually transmitted diseases, a lot of men don't seem especially bothered about the possibility of a long and painful death from AIDS, yet can be provoked into a blind and uncontrollable rage because their partner turns out to have a penis.
It's their right to think how they like, and I have a policy of openness in intimate situations, but I cannot get into the mind of someone who thinks like that. I fail to think of any betrayal strong enough that I would actually use violence against someone else, let alone anything life-threatening.
Isildur
Active member
I think most transsexuals have thought of such things far more than you realize. This isn't something a person decides on a drunken whim, one night after too many shots of tequila. This is something to which they've devoted plenty of thought.
The Jerry Springer show doesn't come close to being an accurate representation of reality. I think the whole "trap" thing is far more myth than reality. Having lived in Greenwich Village (possibly the best-known focus point of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, and transvestite activity in the world) for most of my life, in all the conversations in which I've heard people speak quite candidly about their sex lives, I have not once heard someone recount personally being purposefully duped into having (or nearly having) sex with a transsexual. (And yes, many people around here would admit it.)
And hell, if someone was a convincing enough woman that a guy slept with her and only found out later that she was born a biological male, I don't think there's really reason for him to feel queasy or to feel like he has to doubt his own heterosexuality after the fact. Ditto for someone who's attracted to a pre-op only to be informed by the pre-op "Um, there's something I need to tell you before we take this any further." Heterosexuality or homosexuality is really just attraction to one or another class of visible/feel-able traits anyway. When you're having sex with a woman, are you thinking "Holy fuck she looks and feels so freaking HOT!", or are you thinking "Oh.. oh my, her chromosomes are so damn sexy...oh God, I can't get enough of these FREAKING AWESOME OVARIES!" =P
In any case, Lillymon described herself as preferring women.
Also, both men and women -- even straight men and straight -- vary enormously when it comes to being emotional or rational.
Edit: And in a situation all too common for me when I write long posts, I took so long to write this that my post looks redundant, because Lillymon already replied in the meantime. D'oh.
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What!!!! Excuse me for my bluntness but the reason I've heard every time to get this operation is because the man IS attracted to men period, gay on the outside and inside hardcore and unquestionable. That's kind of the part of feeling like a woman is all about. Being a woman is about liking men. If you just feel femine in your views fine but that just makes you feminine like, and like I said earlier you never really struck me as a girl besides what you told us and that image you posted here years ago. Otherwise though I never would have thought you were a man was only because you said you were a woman and I took that for granted. Have you ever thought if your feminine and you like women you are like the brother on Neapolean Dynomite. He was very feminine in most of the movie, hell I expected he was going to be gay but he actually ended up not gay.
So I guess lesbian trapped in a mans body as a joke I've used for years is right on track for this, though I've met lesbians and they mostly in my area seem more like men than women. I guess I don't understand since if you are a man and like women then your a man no matter what. You're not a manly man, your not the classic definintion of a man but you are still a man. Well do what you want but if you like women and you have a psychologist who says it's cool to have a sex change to be one I think it's time for someone to have their psychiatry license checked. Sorry but men that like women that want a sex change should not be told thats fine go ahead.
I'm almost think this is a huge joke since firstly the one of the last people I'd tell something like this about would be Brad. Sorry Brad but you are not the ultra sensitive type in any way that I've yet to see, you're fun and entertaining but not sensitive since that's the guy side of you telling the feminine side to STFU. I'd more likely go to Ian or Mushroomblue or Isidur because of their tact and sensitivity at least on a subject like this.
Nope this decision has no logical sense to it and I've stated why and I'm done, over, finished.
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Maximum Potion
Staff (news - ROM hacking/translations)
It actaully makes alot of sense. I'm pretty bad with terminology, but i'll try to explain this to the best of my abilities.
Some people are born a man, but feel and act more like a woman. This is the difference between Sex and Gender (Unless I am mistaken).
So, someone who's sex is male may have a female gender.
Now, if a girl or woman realises that she is a lesbian, then that's ok. This is pretty much the same thing as a ''sex male, gender female'' who realises that she is attracted to women.
Someone who is a female (gender) should have been born a girl (physically), so Lillymon's situation actually makes alot of sense.
EDIT: I think that I understand the situation, but I could be completely wrong.
Reaper man
Member
Burzy
Awesome Member
Although I've never done so on a message board, I have lived vicarious lives in a charming online game I've played for 7 years. Its always something that makes my mind spasm in an addictive way, the art of role playing. One cannot help but be enthralled with the different conversation/interactions that you have with people when the face wears a mask that isn't much of a mask after all I cheers to you lillymon, what you feel, is truly , what you are.
*edit , hehe lil tipsy after the wine/ale festival, lol, forgot the pic.
I cheers to you lillymon, what you feel, is truly , what you are.
*edit , hehe lil tipsy after the wine/ale festival, lol, forgot the pic.
The 9th Sage
New member
I agree. That rant was just not god damn cool Shawn (to put it lightly). I back Brad up 100% on this one.
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Isildur
Active member
Eek. Shawn has always been one of the nicest guys at ZMD. I think this is just a lot to take in at once if one hasn't had much real exposure to LGBT matters beyond the stuff that gets put on TV. And I probably didn't help matters by chiming in -- it's easy to get defensive if you feel like everyone is getting on your back. I understand why Brad did what he did, but Shawn, I hope you come back with no hard feelings. This place wouldn't be as much fun without you.
Reaper man
Member
I understand why Brad did what he did, but Shawn, I hope you come back with no hard feelings. This place wouldn't be as much fun without you.
I'm pretty sure after a day he'll be fine. This'll give him just enough time to reflect on what he said. That's why I set it to one day.
The 9th Sage
New member
Eek. Shawn has always been one of the nicest guys at ZMD. I think this is just a lot to take in at once if one hasn't had much real exposure to LGBT matters beyond the stuff that gets put on TV. And I probably didn't help matters by chiming in -- it's easy to get defensive if you feel like everyone is getting on your back. I understand why Brad did what he did, but Shawn, I hope you come back with no hard feelings. This place wouldn't be as much fun without you.
Maybe he hasn't, but him being generally pretty nice is a reason I am a little pissed. He's one who I would think knows better. Hopefully he'll be cooled off in a day or two.
Lillymon
New member
Well, in case shawn wants another crack at this when he comes back (a one day ban was appropriate in my opinion), then I'll be taking on a few parts of the offending post.
Lesbians can be femme, butch, or whatever Ellen DeGeneres is. They may also be attracted to femme, butch, or *shudder* whatever Ellen DeGeneres is. While it may make sense that the two are linked, and they often are, it is not always the case. It certainly isn't in mine, femininity is a big part of what makes women attractive to me.
You on the other hand do not understand and do not seem willing to understand.
Then maybe you got an unrepresentative sample, or just met some really confused gay men. Either way, this just anecdotal, there is a world outside of the small amount of people you have met personally.
Really? No such thing as lesbians? Or are lesbians not women?
Or maybe thinking and feeling like that makes me a woman and you won't stop confusing gender identity and sexual orientation.
Years ago? What image?
That's a fictional character, I'm a real person. Besides, there are men who want to express some feminine characteristics of their personality but are otherwise happy being men. Fine, that happens. That's not me.
In your area! Anecdotal! Biased! The smaller and more localized the sample, the less representative of the whole it is!
Lesbians can be femme, butch, or whatever Ellen DeGeneres is. They may also be attracted to femme, butch, or *shudder* whatever Ellen DeGeneres is. While it may make sense that the two are linked, and they often are, it is not always the case. It certainly isn't in mine, femininity is a big part of what makes women attractive to me.
OK, this part is just wilfully ignorant. I've tried to explain the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, yet you're clearly going to persist in your own simplistic view of a very complicated and difficult subject that even professional organizations are struggling to understand.
He's not the same Brad Mecoli that we saw many years ago, I'm convinced he's changed a lot of the years, and for the better too. He's been supportive and tried to understand despite clearly having his feelings very badly hurt over my revelation.
You on the other hand do not understand and do not seem willing to understand.
I hope you are. I've done all I can to explain.
Cornellius
Active member
Why do we always feel the need to classify things ? I've noticed that our parents generation have more problems accepting these things than our generation.
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Isildur
Active member
Hey, I thought she was great as Dory in Finding Nemo.
That said, I admit she can be a bit annoying in many other appearances; she often seems to me like she's trying too hard to be funny and to appear oh-so off-beat, without really succeeding at either.
Anyway, getting back to the topic, here's a picture that a friend of mine took of me, during a hike. The grey in the background is the Hudson River reflecting clouds.
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