My horoscope can suck my ass

O

Octocrook

New member
So yea, I just read my horoscope for today as my sis's email was still open and she had it up, and it said:

"Muster the guts to take that first big step. Whether you like it or not, it's now or never. Someone is waiting for you."

Apparently it's never. Ironic that I was essentially doing exactly what my horoscope said to do before I had even read it (and I almost never read horoscopes), and it turned out lame. I don't want to go into it but it sucks being blown off. Oh well...tomorrow is another day I guess.
 
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Your horoscope for today

The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person
but you know they're lying.
The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week facedown in the mud.

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative positions of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid scientific documented evidence so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true. Where was I?

A big promotion is right around the corner
for someone much more talented than you.
Expect a big surprise today
when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick.<P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by hcs on 06/12/05 10:30 PM.</FONT></P>
 
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den. *nt*

Nice Tuna.
 
there was a local newspaper in the town where I used to live last year, and it had this crazy old lady doing horoscopes. every article in this newspaper has the authors pictures on them, and some of them are really bad photos, but some of them, like the horoscopes just looked too weird, like they were just a bit too happy to have their picture taken.

the website seems to timeout, so from googles cache:
http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:0OV-2v-nDmAJ:www.echonews.com/1123/stars.html+&hl=en&lr=&client=firefox&strip=1http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:0OV-2v-nDmAJ:www.echonews.com/1123/stars.html+&hl=en&lr=&client=firefox&strip=1</a>

to quote a couple:
<blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr>

SAGITTARIUS: Archers aren't only talkers, as this column may have
occasionally implied. You're above all action people - and this week less
talk, more action's definitely your best strategy. You'll flash on a dozen
solutions to a problem, but only one will be right for the job.
CAPRICORN: Minds that multiply the smallest matter will drive you
crackers unless you avoid their machinations this week. Definitely don't
give yourself a headache - or let anyone else give you one - over
backbiting gossip, stressful hearsay or unsubstantiated facts.

<hr></blockquote>

um... woa? <img src=smilies/erm.gif>
 
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