I was going to reply to TOM's (TheOtherMoogle) post, but I figured this may be useful as its own post to help out anyone not feeling at their best.
I'm feeling really good right now despite the following: Being totally blown off and treated like trash over the last month and a half (blown off as a FRIEND no less) by a girl whom I had considered a "dream girl" (absolutely gorgeous girl similar to me in almost every way). That caps off a lifetime of chicks that haven't given a shit about me and said they have, one of the reasons why I'm still a virgin (semi-by-choice), something I'm ashamed to tell people even though I shouldn't be. I'm been living with my bitch mom for my whole life (bitch mom + dick boyfriend for 5 years now) who tries to control my life, and she found out about a couple months ago that she's diabetic. My brother just went to the hospital today with serious health problems. My sis just got OUT of the hospital not too long ago after a serious neck surgery and may need another for another health problem. My dad was minutes away from death over a year and a half ago (and thankfully has since fully recovered from HIS health problems), and is now struggling to find a job that pays enough to support his wife and 2 kids. I've got 1 best friend and an out-of-town friend I see about twice a year (and mere acquaintances beyond that). From all of those people I care about, I've been hiding a secret, as in lying regularly about something to each and every one of them, something that would cause my mom to kick me out and the rest of my family to probably disown me, at least temporarily, hence me still keeping it a secret and killing my conscience one stabbing lie at a time. I just got my car stereo, CDs, and change stolen 2 weeks ago, making me feel like I need to get a new car even though I REALLY don't want to. I'm seriously struggling to make music for the first time in the 4 and a half years of doing it. I'm struggling in bowling too, bowling 20 pins under the average I should be bowling, and the game is starting to wear out on me after enjoying it all my life. I'm having a horrible block of website creativity in making the site that's been "Coming Soon" for over 2 months now. Last but not least, I'm fucking fat and have been since I was 7 (from bony thin to fat little kid in 1 year, don't know how it happened), and am struggling to not eat the shit out of all the food I love every single day. There are some positives but not many, and besides, when I'm depressed, I can;t focus on the positives ANYWAYS.
SO...why am I feeling really good right now? On top of eating practically nothing today (after chowing the fuck down the last 2 days because I was depressed), I channeled all my frustration into energy, rode our recumbent bike for 130 minutes, halfway into which I figured out I could do crunches while riding the recumbent bike so 400+ crunches ensued. I don't care how fucking sore I'll be tomorrow, but I'll be damned if I won't do something close to what I did tonight tomorrow night. Why? Because my determination cannot be stomped down by ANYONE or ANYTHING in my life, and right now, I'm determined to fast-track myself to being physically fit. Or, to sorta quote Cartman "I'm 23 years old, and if I wanna fingerpaint, then I'm gonna fingerpaint!" Obviously the recent frustration (as in past month or two) has mainly come from the girl. My mind has been made up though: However this last girl may have seemed, she wasn't worth my fucking time and certainly not worth me thinking about her or giving 2 shits about her. I'll move on, find the best fucking girl out there and sweep her off her fucking feet before she knows what hit her because I have the determination to do anything, even if it's tackling life obstacles one at a time. The end. Hope this helps someone.
I'm feeling really good right now despite the following: Being totally blown off and treated like trash over the last month and a half (blown off as a FRIEND no less) by a girl whom I had considered a "dream girl" (absolutely gorgeous girl similar to me in almost every way). That caps off a lifetime of chicks that haven't given a shit about me and said they have, one of the reasons why I'm still a virgin (semi-by-choice), something I'm ashamed to tell people even though I shouldn't be. I'm been living with my bitch mom for my whole life (bitch mom + dick boyfriend for 5 years now) who tries to control my life, and she found out about a couple months ago that she's diabetic. My brother just went to the hospital today with serious health problems. My sis just got OUT of the hospital not too long ago after a serious neck surgery and may need another for another health problem. My dad was minutes away from death over a year and a half ago (and thankfully has since fully recovered from HIS health problems), and is now struggling to find a job that pays enough to support his wife and 2 kids. I've got 1 best friend and an out-of-town friend I see about twice a year (and mere acquaintances beyond that). From all of those people I care about, I've been hiding a secret, as in lying regularly about something to each and every one of them, something that would cause my mom to kick me out and the rest of my family to probably disown me, at least temporarily, hence me still keeping it a secret and killing my conscience one stabbing lie at a time. I just got my car stereo, CDs, and change stolen 2 weeks ago, making me feel like I need to get a new car even though I REALLY don't want to. I'm seriously struggling to make music for the first time in the 4 and a half years of doing it. I'm struggling in bowling too, bowling 20 pins under the average I should be bowling, and the game is starting to wear out on me after enjoying it all my life. I'm having a horrible block of website creativity in making the site that's been "Coming Soon" for over 2 months now. Last but not least, I'm fucking fat and have been since I was 7 (from bony thin to fat little kid in 1 year, don't know how it happened), and am struggling to not eat the shit out of all the food I love every single day. There are some positives but not many, and besides, when I'm depressed, I can;t focus on the positives ANYWAYS.
SO...why am I feeling really good right now? On top of eating practically nothing today (after chowing the fuck down the last 2 days because I was depressed), I channeled all my frustration into energy, rode our recumbent bike for 130 minutes, halfway into which I figured out I could do crunches while riding the recumbent bike so 400+ crunches ensued. I don't care how fucking sore I'll be tomorrow, but I'll be damned if I won't do something close to what I did tonight tomorrow night. Why? Because my determination cannot be stomped down by ANYONE or ANYTHING in my life, and right now, I'm determined to fast-track myself to being physically fit. Or, to sorta quote Cartman "I'm 23 years old, and if I wanna fingerpaint, then I'm gonna fingerpaint!" Obviously the recent frustration (as in past month or two) has mainly come from the girl. My mind has been made up though: However this last girl may have seemed, she wasn't worth my fucking time and certainly not worth me thinking about her or giving 2 shits about her. I'll move on, find the best fucking girl out there and sweep her off her fucking feet before she knows what hit her because I have the determination to do anything, even if it's tackling life obstacles one at a time. The end. Hope this helps someone.
