Google search auto-complete


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I thought of putting this in the funny link/joke/image repository thread, but figured this should probably go in its own if I'm going to post this many, rather than flood that thread.

Today, and also a few days ago (which accounts for the special Google logo in some of the pics), I was fooling around with Google's auto-complete function, which guesses what you want to search for based on what others have already searched for.

For those who may not have noticed, Google already filters out any search suggestions containing most obvious sexual terms. Nonetheless, the results can be, um, interesting. Many of the funniest are by people who are presumably unaware that you don't need to type to Google in sentences.


If you think your water broke, then perhaps you should get off the computer and get to a hospital?


Mr. Splashy is in a better place now, Jimmy.




oh noes... that's bad...


To put out the fire, duh.


I'm pretty sure a way exists, yes.


Mmm, yummy.


Check the cereal aisle.


That bastard Joaquin Phoenix is inviting people to his expensive house for pineapple salad and telling them to dis your girl and crash planes. He must be stopped.


It's you.


A bunch of searches revealed that, for some reason, a lot of people are nearly as interested in whether various public figures are left-handed as they are in whether they're secretly Muslim, Jewish, Illuminati, or Freemasons. Maybe it has something to do with a secret handshake or something.


It's like a summary of an episode of House.


Floating green poop means you've been eating too many lily pads.
Haha, these are pretty funny. I had to check to see what the relevance of a few of them the "How can one Chandra be so Levy" lyric apparently.

Also, the "Is the internet down or is it just me" one, that's an actual website...kind of a useful one too (it goes and checks a site for you to see if it can access it...therefore finding out if it's really down or just some glitch on your end). Overall "What's with all these homies dissin my girl"

o_O "Is Obama black" Also...lots of people concerned about poop.
My muskrat's been hitting da ganga and dissin my little monkey, fahizzle and word out. "they'll never guess I'm an old guy with all that cool talkin, I'm so sneaky hehehe" :)

yes they will.

foshizzle was old in 2003. you're really showing your "old person cards" with that one.
Damn, and I thought I was so radically gnarly and now I'm just lame. I'm gonna go out and bust caps in my ass till I get cool.
Groovy, my main man. I hear dem kids also be all into this new "All your base are belong to us" and "Who let the dogs out!?!" stuff-- they be da BOMB! We'll be cooler than da Fonz in no time! 'eyyyy!
Groovy, my main man. I hear dem kids also be all into this new "All your base are belong to us" and "Who let the dogs out!?!" stuff-- they be da BOMB! We'll be cooler than da Fonz in no time! 'eyyyy!

Fahizzle :werd:
My dialup says fuck taking screen shots and uploading them, but...

I'm rather fond of "Let me" bringing up "Google that for you" as the first hit.

And confused that "Let me put" suggests "my poems into you" but apparently it's some meme. I wish I'd been aware of that line back when I ran a poetry site and was constantly getting emails about them from those people with vaginas.

Also, "Suicide is" doesn't bring up any "anti-suicide" hits except for "illegal" which is misleading. I'm pretty sure that only attempted suicide is illegal, I don't think they can charge you if you do it right.

The fact that "Your mother" suggested "should know chords" confused me greatly until I figured out that "Your Mother Should Know" is apparently a Beatles song and people must want to learn how to play it.

And I can't decide if it's good or bad that "Why do my" brings up "balls smell" a few lines higher than "balls hurt".
I accidentally c--
  • oke bottle
  • losed word without saving
  • alled 911
  • oca cola bottle
  • ame in her
  • oca cola
  • ut my mole
  • ut my eyelashes

I accidentally s--
  • aved over a file
  • cratched my tattoo
  • wallowed a living raccoon cub
  • wallowed bleach
  • lept with my sister
  • wallowed gum
  • ite
  • aid i love you

I just hit --
  • level 80 now what
  • that with a bottle
  • the floor don't ask for more
  • the floor don't ask for more lyrics
  • the lotto
  • 80 what now
  • my head

I just shot --
  • john lennon lyrics
  • marvin in the face
  • marvin
  • john lennon chords
  • john lennon cranberries

I just smoked --
  • a whole bunch of crack
  • weed
  • the wrong side of a cigarette
  • a bunch of crack family guy
  • the wrong end of my cigarette who wants to go swimming hey this song's about me

1.e4 e5 --
  • 2.d3
  • 2.Nf3
  • 2.Bc4
  • 2.c4
  • 2.Qf3
  • 2.Qh5
  • 2.f4
  • 2.Bb5
  • 2.c3

How to be --
  • happy
  • anorexic
  • a good kisser
  • sexy
  • emo
  • funny
  • cool
  • popular
  • a good girlfriend
  • a ninja

How to not be --
  • shy
  • jealous
  • nervous
  • bored
  • lazy
  • depressed
  • hungry
  • tired
  • annoying
  • awkward

How to not be an --
  • idiot
  • enabler
  • obsessive girlfriend
  • obsessive boyfriend
  • introvert
  • alcoholic
  • emotional eater
  • angry drunk
  • easy girl
  • outcast

How to not be a d--
  • doormat
  • douchebag
  • drama queen
  • dork
  • douche
  • dumbass

How to not be a k--
  • know it all

How to go to --
  • sleep
  • confession
  • college for free
  • heaven
  • safe mode
  • sleep fast
  • sleep when youre not tired
  • college
  • college almost for free
  • hell

I don't care about --
  • anyone else but me
  • anything
  • anyone else but me lyrics
  • clever i don't care about funny
  • you lyrics
  • that lyrics
  • that
  • you
  • the young folks
  • anything but you

I don't have time --
  • to exercise
  • to bleed
  • for this mickey mouse bullshit
  • to maintain these regrets
  • for a grudge match with every poser in a parka
  • to maintain these regrets when i think about the way that he loves us
  • for a relationship
  • for this
  • to do it right
  • to maintain these regrets lyrics

I cannot --
  • go to school today
  • live with you
  • tell a lie
  • lose weight
  • go to school today poem
  • wait i'm yours
  • live without my life i cannot live without my soul
  • be other than what i am
  • tell a lie george washington
  • connect to the internet

I can --
  • has cheezburger
  • only imagine lyrics
  • make you thin
  • see clearly now
  • ride my bike with no handle bars
  • see clearly now lyrics
  • do all things through christ which strengthens me
  • take your girl lyrics
  • has hotdog
  • only imagine chords

It doesn't make a bit of difference guys --
  • the balls are inert

Suicide is m--
  • y only option
  • an's way of telling god
  • an's way of telling god you can't fire me i quit.
  • an's way

Suicide is n--
  • not the answer
  • not chosen it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain
  • not selfish
  • not an option
  • not a sin
  • not an illogical step for anyone concerned with japan's economic future
  • not wrong
  • never an option
  • not chosen
  • not a choice
o_O what's with the I accidentally Coke -- meme we have going on here? Also, why didn't I think to try "it doesn't make a bit of difference guys"?
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