Date (long post, beware)

Octocrook

New member
Went on a date for the first time in 4 years (the last time being a poor excuse for a date really). Met a girl online a week and a half ago (I'll refer to her as her initials, AC) and given everything we had in common, I just HAD to meet her in person. Phone and net just don't do it for me anymore (which is a good thing of course).

To preface, last Sunday is when she semi blew me off. She said she had been sick but didn't let me know and wouldn't answer her phone or anything, so it really ruined my day and made me upset, and I just sort of went on. It was partially my dumb ass fault anyways because I didn't stick with an exact time to do something and she had said she may or may not be available that day. Even at the hint of being able to see her that day, I sacrificed my day...probably wasn't wise!

So we made plans to go out yesterday. I had assloads of things to do through most of the day (until 6:00 PM). I got home, called her, and she had just gotten home too. She said she was pooped and didn't really want to do anything very active, which of course prompted me to suggest seeing a movie, the most inactive thing known to man! She was ignoring the suggestion and saying I should come over there, but saying that her mom wouldn't be liking it too much. So here I'm thinking "god damnit, she's going to do it again," as she said she would check and see if I could come over, and didn't immediately get back to me.

It's ironic because one of the times we'd spoken, she talked about a question one of her friends had, asking if all guys come up with tests for girls to show loyalty or that they are truly interested or whatever. I had told her that most guys instead probably think of a situation that already happened, view it as such a test, and think along the lines of "she passed the test" or "she failed the test". So ironically, I decided to set her up a test. Up til yesterday, she had NEVER sent an IM initially or called me. It had all been me initiating everything. Now we had a situation where she is supposed to let me know something. So I sent her an IM at about 7:00 or so telling her to call me when she found out what was going on, as I wouldn't be at the computer.

Waiting...watching TV...waiting...getting restless...waiting...getting pissed off...waiting...pretty much stating "that's it, I'll never send her any message or call her again until she shows an ounce of interest in getting to know me besides just saying it". 5 minutes later, at about 8:45, she finally fucking calls. I was worried such a potentially great girl was going to turn out fake, but she finally provied otherwise.

So then, another dilemma...now her fucking friend (J) is involved, and whatever nice night out we were going to have with just AC and I turned into going to a bar with J and some other friend and then to a party. I'm like "whatever, I'll do anything you want, just let's do it finally!" So I went over to AC's house with Meet the Parents clips running through my head of having to charm her parents or whatever. Her parents wound up being total couch potatoes. Both of them barely even acknowledged that I said something to them and shook their hands, or that I brought flowers or anything like that. Big whoop.

AC looked better in person than in pictures, and I thought she looked pretty damn cute in her pictures. She had a little brat teenage brother that she would later disclose to me is a totally racist nazi freak, and yet I thought he seemed pretty nice and cool when we met! The funny thing about this girl is I guess she just recently got into video games, and she absolutely sucks at them (she loves RPGs but gets stuck in them all the time), and her brother is a game freak. We were playing Halo 2 while waiting for her friend to call and let us know when to leave for the bar. She sucked, and I had only played X-Box once before, and never a FPS with a strafe joystick AND a look joystick, PLUS the look was not inverted until he let me know I could change it, so I was playing worse than she was. He handily beat us 50 to 5 in deathmatch. Then as we started up another one, I got the inverted look on and improved just a tad bit, to 13-3 him. I still didn't have other stuff like zoom all that down, and I'd forget about grenades. I looked like a fucking novice and I play Unreal Tournament and used to own the shit out of Goldeneye. I'll beat his ass later...I'm competitive as hell and hate playing like crap!

J FINALLY calls, at like 11-ish. We went to the bar...way too crowded, no sitting room, band too loud to talk, so AC and I were like fuck that. J came with her mom (the DD), and her mom wasn't going to this party we were going to, so I became "the ride". Bad mistake, since AC and I were both not really caring about this party and J was like "oh my god, I have to go to this party to see this one guy". J by the way is hugely fat...like way obese (350 lb according to AC, and I believe that). So in my mind, I'm rolling my eyes thinking "well he's not going to have a problem seeing you, that's for sure". It's not that I dislike really fat people...I dislike really annoying, asshole fat people.

So we head on over to this "party". Apparently the dude whose place it was had parties going on nearly every day, though it turns out they are after-parties 2 AM and beyond. We got there at 11:30. There's 3 people there. AC and I were bored after 5 seconds. J is too, but she came here to like, see that one guy n stuff. So we stay there and chill out for a while listening to annoying ass house music. I had vodka n coke, AC had a beer, and later, one of the 3 there offered to go pick up drinks, so I had her get a 6 pack of Smirnoff.

In the meantime, the dude whose house it was shows us a drink. He said it's a mixture of orange mango juice and "something that's like liquid E" which he called "sauce". I never touch drugs, and I could swear AC has told me that she doesn't touch them. Not tonight apparently. He poured her a little bit, which she had. Drink girl came back a little after with my Smirnoff, which I started chugging so I could get the fucking party started a little sooner. Not a fucking soul was showing up. Half an hour rolled by, during which someone put on Napolean Dynamite (which bored the shit out of me by the way), and AC said she was feeling no effects. The dude went off and got another mixture which was probably much stronger, and offered it up. AC was saying no, but eventually caved in. Big mistake.

Stuff started happening soon after she had that mixture. She said it was nothing like E (so who knows what the fuck it really was) and that she was getting sick. She apparently hadn't eaten a whole lot through the day, so whatever this shit was was playing chop suey with her stomach. A bitchload of people were starting to show up, as it was around 2:00 AM, and hoping that food would help AC a bit, I went to the kitchen and brought some back. Since I had chugged 3 of the Smirnoff by then, I had to go pee again. I come back and AC and J are gone. I was like "okay, maybe they went to the other bathroom or something?" so I sat back down for a bit. Neither of them came back, so I went to the door and J walked in and said AC was throwing up outside.

From that point (2:15 maybe) til 4:30 AM, I and only I was helping AC stand, move around outside, throw up, etc. J and everyone else couldn't care fucking less. Ironically, between the throwing up the "I'll never do this again"s, me asking her if more was coming and her saying yea, her saying how cold she was, etc., we did finally get some conversation in, which is really all I wanted to do the entire god damn night. It's sad when you think about it...that period of time was the only "quality time" I spent with her that entire night. For some reason, she was preferring to stand most of the time, but she could barely stand, so I was pretty much letting her lean back against me, and with her being a measily 4'11, even with her shows adding like 3 inches, I could rest my head on hers. It would have been romantic if it wasn't for the circumstances surrounding it.

To go off on a bit of a tangent, the more I looked at her throughout the night, the more I realized how absolutely mesmerizing her eyes were. I was just thinking they were simply beautiful eyes before, but I was really getting addicted to looking into them. The only fault (if it can be called that) to her looks is that she's overweight some, but I'm more overweight than she is, so I should only be lucky that she finds me good looking too. Still, she has me in the eye department, even though eye doctors have said my eyes are interesting (probably because they're hazel, but have some brown and green speckled in there as well).

So yea, J finally came out, didn't really mention much about AC being sick (which has me really wondering...whether J is just a really shitty friend or whether this kind of thing happens all the time) and determined we should go, so she went back inside to get the purses and say her goodbyes. Took her 20 minutes to fucking do that even. We got some food at 7-Eleven which finally made AC feel better. I took J home, then took AC home. We sat in the car and talked for a good half an hour, and I walked her to the front door. She wound up hugging me twice. I could have kissed her, but between not knowing how she'd feel and having mixed thoughts about the night, I decided not to. Given the way she was looking at me as she went in, I'm sure I probably could have kissed her. Then again though, I have a dilemma on my hands now.

Here there's a girl that, like me:
- Loves video games, especially RPGs
- Loves various card and board games
- Loves the same movies
- Loves most of the same music
- Likes South Park and Adult Swim (she's way more into Adult Swim, I'm way more into South Park)
- Loves to bowl
- Is agnostic
- Is not into partying and being with large groups of people

etc., and we thus far:
- Love talking to each other (have had numerous very long conversations on the phone)
- Like each other's looks
- (and now) Enjoy each other's company

Further more, I:

- Hadn't been on a date in 4 years.
- Have only been in 2 one-week-long sad excuses for relationships with complete bitches that barely had anything in common.
- Am still a virgin, 23 fucking years old.

All this taken into account, she still managed to pick one of the only stumbling blocks that could possibly phase me: drugs (bad drugs even). Now I plain don't know what to do. I haven't known her long enough to have much influence on her, and so I pretty much am reduced to hoping that this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time and that she learned her lesson last night. I've found that "I'm never doing this again" in relation to drugs means absolutely nothing, and would obviously hurt her more if she did wind up doing it again. I may have a brother and sister that were into drugs at one point, a best friend that was REALLY into drugs, and a shitload of pothead friends, but I don't know if I could truly go out with a girl that's into drugs. I haven't had enough experience to know for sure if I could. I guess I have to spend more time with her and feel it out. I just wish life was a little more straightforward for once.
 

Canar

Member
Liquid E is likely GHB. GHB can be nasty. Alcohol and GHB can literally kill you. It's frightening to mix with alcohol. Actually, GHB has been proposed as a substance to assist alcoholics in getting booze-free. The mental state is very similar, but GHB has many fewer side-effects afterwards.

Don't let the drugs thing be a stumbling block. Drugs are generally a phase for people. If its your position that you don't do them, but still hang out with her, she'll start to realize that she can have fun without them. She'll appreciate you for a) enduring her peculiarities and b) showing her a fun time outside of drugs/parties. Drugs are often just a great reason to get together and hang out.

As an upside, drug-using girls tend to be more sexually adventurous in my experience. Not necessarily more promiscuous, just more adventurous.

If you've got drug questions, post 'em here. I still partake occasionally, but I'm generally down to just pot.

Anyhow, just accept that drugs are a part of her life you don't like. If they're the only problem here, I'd ignore it. Yes, I'm aware how fervently opposed to drugs many Internetters like yourself are. Honestly, they're not that bad, and people who do them are no less intelligent than anyone else.

Like I said, propose activities you can do other than drugs/parties. She'll accept, and you'll be generally kept out of drug activities.

Don't push intimacy too quickly. Kissing is a rather intimate thing. I'd say stick with hugging and/or cuddling until it's obvious she wants more. You seem to be perceptive, so just look for a clear sign she wants more. She'll give one if she does.<P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by Canar on 06/19/05 11:32 PM.</FONT></P>
 

Octocrook

New member
> Liquid E is likely GHB. GHB can be nasty. Alcohol and GHB
> can literally kill you.

I think that's what it is then...which is probably why she got fucked up. She only had 1 beer as a drink, but yea...that can be all it takes when you mix with something not meant to be mixed with.

> Don't let the drugs thing be a stumbling block. Drugs are
> generally a phase for people.

Here's the thing...she said she went through that phase in high school where she did just about everything. I mean my best friend is one that went through a phase and has since done very little (but still occasionally does stuff). I'm just hoping that she doesn't have a CURRENT problem with drugs.

> If its your position that you
> don't do them, but still hang out with her, she'll start to
> realize that she can have fun without them.

I can only hope. I mean after all, it was her bitch friend that dragged her to this place. Thankfully, that friend might be moving to Idaho soon. Move along, little doggy!

> Drugs are
> often just a great reason to get together and hang out.

Well it wasn't like we went there for the intention of her to get fucked up on something. That's another thing that will probably get me past this...I think she wound up doing it because the "party" was lame and boring, and we were fucking stuck at it.

> As an upside, drug-using girls tend to be more sexually
> adventurous in my experience. Not necessarily more
> promiscuous, just more adventurous.

I don't see her being that adventurous, but interesting thought nonetheless.

> If you've got drug questions, post 'em here. I still partake
> occasionally, but I'm generally down to just pot.

It didn't even occur to me that at least 1 person here would be familiar with the drug I was talking about, but this is definitely a good place for drug questions!

> Anyhow, just accept that drugs are a part of her life you
> don't like. If they're the only problem here, I'd ignore it.
> Yes, I'm aware how fervently opposed to drugs many
> Internetters like yourself are.

My thoughts on drugs are a little bit more harsh than my thoughts on alcohol but are generally the same: moderation is the key. Hell, I drink about once a week and I drink a decent amount. I never get out of control with it though. Drinking is fun and okay, but a drinking problem is a problem. Drugs that are dangerous I obviously am more harsh on because, as AC found out last night, you can REALLY get screwed up. Then again, I just spoke with her and she was really sorry about it. I'm pretty forgiving when all is said and done.

> Honestly, they're not that
> bad, and people who do them are no less intelligent than
> anyone else.

My best friend is about as smart as I am and he's done everything, so I agree.

> Don't push intimacy too quickly. Kissing is a rather
> intimate thing. Start with other intimacies. First, touch.
> Then maybe hand-holding and hugs.

Yea, I know. I've got no balls to make a move like that yet anyways, heheh. I know at some point I'll need to make the move though, and I'm sure I'll know the right time when it comes around.
 
Top Bottom