breaking up sounds good until you have to do it

[Lobster Cowboy]

i'm at a point with my girlfriend where we aren't clicking, and i'm simply not in love. we have plenty of laughs, but not being in love is too much for me. it feels like something large is missing, and after five months, i'm finding it harder and harder to stay happy.

it seems like the right thing to do, but oh boy, is it hard. i like her so much, but the weight of not loving her is too much. i don't want to break her heart, but at the same time, i'm genuinely not happy. i don't even want to date anyone else...i'd rather just go back to being single while my life is in limbo.

i'm so sad about this...i can't stand to think of her out of my life, but the way she described her dating history, she never stays friends with people she used to date. i'm so attached to her, and i really think the world of her. how do i make this come across to her without looking like i don't like her and that i'm rejecting her? like, how do you tell a person you care about them, but you can't date them?

how can breaking up seem the right thing to do, yet be so horrible? in the past, i pulled the whole dick manoeuvre where you get them to break up with you, but i can't go that route again. it's entirely cruel, and completely unfair.

yet i can't seem to pull the trigger. when i'm not with her, i have all the right words, and all the motivation, but when we're together...i somehow find a way to talk myself out of it. i think of all we've done together, and think of the pictures i drew for her, which she carefully hung beside her desk at work...

i don't want to be out of her life, but i don't want to date her. i wish it was possible to downshift into friendship, but it NEVER works that way.

blah...i'm really miserable about this...

how 'bout a song?

Neil Sedaka - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (2:21)

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[phonymike]

Seems like you're in a tough spot. You just gotta step up to the plate and be a man. There's no easy way to do it, she's gonna cry. And don't even waste your time dreaming it'll downshift into a friendship, it doesn't work, you know it doesn't work. And if you did actually do it, after a few weeks you're just gonna get back together.

Maybe the next dull time you guys share, wait for a dull moment and just say "things aren't the way they used to be with us." Then tell her everything you just posted.

You've been dating for 5 months? Usually the 'magic' wears off at 10 months. If you care about her so much maybe you can stick it out if you think she's a girl you could live the rest of your life with. Worst case you guys break up, she cries, you go home feeling lonely, and you move on. You only grow from experience, ending this relationship will make you stronger.

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