nervous

[SwampGas]

after an absolutely horrid week (some would have killed themselves by now) i think things might turn to the better.

rejection after rejection after rejection....

but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. a break through.

someone overheard me talking about how i could help a particular company and gave me contact info of someone there and said to use him as a reference. JACKPOT.

now that i actually have to make the phone call, i'm getting cold feet. the first call is what makes or breaks the sale. i need to be optimistic, but not overzealous. i need to be polite and proper, yet down to earth. i need to be firm, yet negotiable. i need to be the all-knowing computer god even when i don't know.

i usually feed the necessary confidence off of my own arrogance and elitism...but for some reason i'm not feeling up to it. it's a HUGE deal with an international multibillion dollar company.

i need this client. not just for money...i need it for me. i've lost track of my future and have been tumbling down this path of uncertainty...and it sucks. you lose self esteem...you lose self confidence...you lose everything and become a depressive lump on the couch.

but life isn't about that. life is about being on top. i've always been on top...right now i'm not. friends, as well as foes, are above me on the social ladder, the monetary ladder and the happiness ladder.

<img src=smilies/director.gif>it's about being the best. because i am. failure is not an option.

<P ID="signature"><marquee direction=right scrollamount=10>http://www.zophar.net/personal/swampgas/hsrun.gif</marquee></P>

[pepsibeth]

Good luck.

Been a shitty week here too, although probably not as bad as yours from the sounds of it - got ripped into at work by my boss about the amount of sick time I've had lately - even though I'm at work, stumbling around, hardly able to talk, they seem to think I was faking for the days that I took off... And been horribly sick all week, no energy whatsoever - I hate feeling like that. Then it's finally Friday, and I leave for work, closing the door and then realizing my keys are in my other coat. Thankfully I had a spare car key in my purse, but I am locked out of my house. Sure, my parents have a spare set to my house, and I think my sister does too, but they're up at the city until probably 11:00pm tonight. Not exactly sure what Sean and I are going to do until then...

I know it doesn't exactly sound like a bad week, really, but I'm just tired and cranky I suppose.

<P ID="signature"><CENTER>http://pepsibeth.vgmp3.com/other/spiderman2.gif</CENTER>
<Center>I love a SuperHero who can dance too.</center></P>

[Phoenix]

> i need this client. not just for money...i need it for me.
> i've lost track of my future and have been tumbling down
> this path of uncertainty...and it sucks. you lose self
> esteem...you lose self confidence...you lose everything and
> become a depressive lump on the couch.

Good luck. I hope it works for ya. I'm sure you'll do well.

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://www.angelfire.com/games3/shawn10000/hex.txt height=150 alt="Thanks Shawn!"> "Shhh.. hear the music..!" "what Music?" "The sound of one hand clapping"
</P>

[type_x]

> it's about being the best. because i am. failure is not an
> option.
>

It may sound silly, but I repeat something similar to myself in the
mirror every morning. I believe it completely, and it's worked wonders for me.

Good luck.


<P ID="signature">Click"] ("http://www.gearjammin.com/rau.mov>[i)</P>

[SwampGas]

blew it. nothing to see here <img src=smilies/cwm10.gif>

<P ID="signature"><marquee direction=right scrollamount=10>http://www.zophar.net/personal/swampgas/hsrun.gif</marquee></P>

[type_x]

> blew it. nothing to see here
>

Don't let it drag you down. Keep applying the personal message in your original post. Eventually, it becomes you.

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