PDA

View Full Version : the kid is out...

sephiroth111
09-08-2003, 02:40 AM
He is finally out of my house... but i dont know....how i feel about it... Friday he surpassed even my anger limits and I told my mom it was him or me... Though I'm told siblings fight like this, i didn't know how to respond now he is out...

that fight was because i cooked for him (not to mention the fact that when i cook, its rare, and its according to other people, good) and he went downstairs and talked on the phone with his g/f after telling me that he is infact hungry for three (3!!!) hours... then he goes running off, with me still in my kitchen with food cooking to god knows where, doing god knows what... at least he could have eaten first...

i kinda feel happy that he is gone (the envious side?) and i am sad because i knew where he went back to (my concience?)
...i dont know if my concience is coming into play, but i cannot face him without making my mind up about the fact that i could have spit on him when he left (wishing that he would die and rot in hell while i was at it) but now i fell bad...

its not like he had ambition in life, he spent most of his time parroting me (almost pirate like)... the night he left he threw a tantrum (sp?) which he called me spoiled and wouldn't come back into the house so we could finish our conversation about what has to be done...

anyway i dont think that our friendship is repairable...at all.... i think i had best avoid him...

do you think i did anything wrong?

<P ID="signature"><hr>
Ludvuck Foruk: Thats your first problem...thinking your a panda...
sephiroth111: and once again, i am totally confused as to whats going on.</P>
type_x
09-08-2003, 06:15 AM
> do you think i did anything wrong?
>

No. Part of being a man is being responsible for yourself and owning up to your mistakes. If he can't take care of himself, that's all on him. You don't owe him a place to live, or dinner, or justification for his poor attitude. Tell him to stop acting like a little bitch.

And never let anyone else's problems become your problems.


<P ID="signature">Warning: GSX
<img src= "http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/attachment.php?Cat=&Board=talktown&Post=197065" width= 550 height= 122></P>
wingless
09-08-2003, 07:54 AM
> No. Part of being a man is being responsible for yourself
> and owning up to your mistakes. If he can't take care of
> himself, that's all on him. You don't owe him a place to
> live, or dinner, or justification for his poor attitude.
> Tell him to stop acting like a little bitch.

<img src=smilies/werd.gif>

> And never let anyone else's problems become your problems.


<img src=smilies/werd.gif> <img src=smilies/werd.gif> <img src=smilies/werd.gif>

<P ID="signature"><center>http://www.livejournal.com/users/drkstdays/http://midnight.gryphonsoft.com/upload/eyesof.jpg</center></a></P>
type_x
09-08-2003, 09:02 AM
>

Not that I myself have never enabled someone in this way, I have. It's just that I can see the error in my judgement and I've taken responsibility for the harm I've caused myself by letting her bring her problems into my life. You just gotta live and learn I suppose.


<P ID="signature">Warning: GSX
<img src= "http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/attachment.php?Cat=&Board=talktown&Post=197065" width= 550 height= 122></P>
wingless
09-08-2003, 04:15 PM
> Not that I myself have never enabled someone in this way, I
> have. It's just that I can see the error in my judgement
> and I've taken responsibility for the harm I've caused
> myself by letting her bring her problems into my life. You
> just gotta live and learn I suppose.

yep, exactly. thats how i learned the same thing. i used to let people walk all over me. luckily i've learned since then. i might go too far now, though. i'm really really blunt, and if i hurt someone's feelings i typically just shrug and pass it off as their problem.


<P ID="signature"><center>http://www.livejournal.com/users/drkstdays/http://midnight.gryphonsoft.com/upload/eyesof.jpg</center></a></P>
sephiroth111
09-08-2003, 08:40 PM
>You just gotta live and learn I suppose.

yeah, i suppose your right guys, thank you for helping me on this.


<P ID="signature"><hr>
Ludvuck Foruk: Thats your first problem...thinking your a panda...
sephiroth111: and once again, i am totally confused as to whats going on.</P>
puduhead
09-08-2003, 08:51 PM
> yep, exactly. thats how i learned the same thing. i used
> to let people walk all over me. luckily i've learned since
> then. i might go too far now, though. i'm really really
> blunt, and if i hurt someone's feelings i typically just
> shrug and pass it off as their problem.

Yeah, it seems like I barely have feelings anymore, with the possible exception for the love ones that come from romance or anger from bad things happening to my person. So I try to use logic to determine any level of compassion or sensitivity that I should bestow. But this does fail in situations where I am inclined to give no thought for someone, i.e. my mind is made up they are a bitch, asshole, bad person, etc... Once at that level with someone or thing, it's hard for me to have even the slightest bit of emotion concerning the matter. Exceptions include: when I am drunk or otherwise carried away by unnatural stimuli.

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://i.xanga.com/JohnDietzel/puduhead.jpg></P>
wingless
09-08-2003, 10:17 PM
> or otherwise carried away by unnatural stimuli.

like alien probing? <img src=smilies/errrr.gif>

<P ID="signature"><center>http://www.livejournal.com/users/drkstdays/http://midnight.gryphonsoft.com/upload/eyesof.jpg</center></a></P>
sephiroth111
09-09-2003, 02:29 AM
> > or otherwise carried away by unnatural stimuli.
> like alien probing?
probably a bit more like pot, but i'm just guessing.


<P ID="signature"><hr>
Ludvuck Foruk: Thats your first problem...thinking your a panda...
sephiroth111: and once again, i am totally confused as to whats going on.</P>
type_x
09-09-2003, 07:08 AM
> Yeah, it seems like I barely have feelings anymore, with the
> possible exception for the love ones that come from romance
> or anger from bad things happening to my person. So I try
> to use logic to determine any level of compassion or
> sensitivity that I should bestow.

<snip>Once at that level with someone or
> thing, it's hard for me to have even the slightest bit of
> emotion concerning the matter. Exceptions include: when I
> am drunk or otherwise carried away by unnatural stimuli.

I can really, really relate. I was at that point with her two years ago when we first broke up. After that, it was as if all my feelings had been used up and I was numb to anger, sadness, happiness, etc. I also haven't been able to trust women the same way ever since. This time around during our brief makeup, my tolerance was at zero and I didn't shed a tear when I had to let her go. I won't say it didn't hurt, but it was a distant, familiar hurt that I've shut away from my emotions. I guess I've adapted out of necessity to keep my job, sanity, and general composure.


<P ID="signature">Warning: GSX
<img src= "http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/attachment.php?Cat=&Board=talktown&Post=197065" width= 550 height= 122></P>
puduhead
09-09-2003, 07:13 AM
> I can really, really relate. I was at that point with her
> two years ago when we first broke up. After that, it was as
> if all my feelings had been used up and I was numb to anger,
> sadness, happiness, etc. I also haven't been able to trust
> women the same way ever since. This time around during our

> brief makeup, my tolerance was at zero and I didn't shed a
> tear when I had to let her go. I won't say it didn't hurt,
> but it was a distant, familiar hurt that I've shut away from
> my emotions. I guess I've adapted out of necessity to keep
> my job, sanity, and general composure.


Do you think we will ever get it back (our emotion as we used to have it)?

I have just assumed that I won't.

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377023/puduhead.jpg></P>
type_x
09-09-2003, 07:22 AM
> Do you think we will ever get it back (our emotion as we
> used to have it)?
>
> I have just assumed that I won't.
>

It might be for the best that we don't. For me, falling in love for the first time was the greatest feeling I ever had. But it also left me wide open for the most terrible pain and heartbreak imaginable. I don't think I could go through that again. I believe that triggered a major change in me out of self defense.

It also made me a lot tougher when faced with other types of adversity.

<P ID="signature">Warning: GSX
<img src= "http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/attachment.php?Cat=&Board=talktown&Post=197065" width= 550 height= 122></P>
puduhead
09-09-2003, 07:23 AM
> It also made me a lot tougher when faced with other types of
> adversity.

Me too... but those early love feelings were so fucking good. damn. <img src=smilies/cwm10.gif>

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/377023/puduhead.jpg></P>
type_x
09-09-2003, 07:40 AM
> Me too... but those early love feelings were so fucking
> good. damn.
>

Maybe some day. Some people have told me it happens again, and it's different... and better.

But I feel what you're saying... that first love thing is once in a lifetime. When I think back and remember the way it was between me and Geordynne- one night in particular- it's just surreal. I wasn't looking for love at all, it just found me, and it was the one perfect moment in my life.


<P ID="signature">Warning: GSX
<img src= "http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/attachment.php?Cat=&Board=talktown&Post=197065" width= 550 height= 122></P>