JadussD
09-06-2003, 09:09 PM
- Until I was about 7, ceiling fans, bare light-bulbs and certain lamp-shades, the moon, and my basement were to be feared equally. To me, the ceiling fans were what caused my mother to have one leg (not cancer): At some point, she had *obviously* put her leg up in a ceiling fan, and it was cut off. Despite this fact, I had a certain reverence for fans. I became obsessed with them. I cut out pictures of them in advertisements for Builder's Square, and when ever we went to a place with fans, I would stare at them with a mixture of terror and fascination. Like death, which I had only a vague understanding of, fans were capable of exciting un-ending entertainment with their constant motion, which held for me both a simplistic sense of awe, and the potential for amputation (which I feared greatly) As for light-bulbs and lamp shades, they just wanted to kill me. They took on an anthropomorphic quality. My dreams were haunted by light-fixtures which came down on their wiring, and sucked me up into their lamp shades, burning me alive. At one point, at a Red Roof Inn in Toledo, Ohio, I absolutely refused to go into the bathroom, because I was in mortal terror of the light. My basement was occupied by "Pete", an entity that looked like Ronald Reagan, and cried blood. His broken-light-fixture friend was his side-kick. I would dream of being sucked down into the basement, and being tickled in the most unpleasant manner possible by Pete and the light-fixture, before being burned by the light-fixture. It was the purest terror imaginable. Just absolute terror. The corner in my room was ominous as well. It was also anthropomorphic, with the area where the walls met the ceiling being its arms, and the are where the two walls met being it's body. It would reach down and tickle me. Somehow, I acquired an extreme aversion to tickling when I was 3. I really don't want to get into why, but I'll just say that when I read a psychological evaluation a few years ago from when I was 3, it made me re-think the reasons why I don't have any contact with a certain friend-of-the-family.
- Later on, when I was about 8, I discovered video games. Video games were alternate worlds, just as important as the reality we lived in. I went to school, I did my homework, simply so I could escape into these worlds. I convinced a friend that The Legend of Zelda was real, we were to be Link's muilti-dimensional co-heroes, and that Aganihm and Ganon were incarnated on Earth, so we had to watch out for them. We would look in a car, see a suspicious-looking man driving, and THAT was the Earthly incarnation of Ganon. To travel to Hyrule, we would need to obtain Rupees. We discovered that we would first have to go to India. Then other games became real: Mortal Kombat, Super Metroid, and Secret of Mana. We followed the mythos of these games religiously, and invented our own to fit the fact that, you know, we're on Earth, and these games don't take place on Earth. So underneath this one panel on the floor of the gym at school, was a portal to the Mana world. We just had to find a way to open it, and then we would travel to the Mana world, and be the heroes...It was all very neat. We actually believed it...or at least I did. Then, when I was in 5th grade, I believed I was Magus from Chrono Trigger. Two 2nd graders that hung around me on the school playground were my lackeys: Slash and Flea. I actually threatened them with death if they dared disobey me, and I thought that if I concentrated hard enough, I could cast Dark Matter :)
It was weird being a kid.
<P ID="signature"><HR>
<CENTER>http://members.aol.com/jadussvii/ea.jpg</CENTER></P>
- Later on, when I was about 8, I discovered video games. Video games were alternate worlds, just as important as the reality we lived in. I went to school, I did my homework, simply so I could escape into these worlds. I convinced a friend that The Legend of Zelda was real, we were to be Link's muilti-dimensional co-heroes, and that Aganihm and Ganon were incarnated on Earth, so we had to watch out for them. We would look in a car, see a suspicious-looking man driving, and THAT was the Earthly incarnation of Ganon. To travel to Hyrule, we would need to obtain Rupees. We discovered that we would first have to go to India. Then other games became real: Mortal Kombat, Super Metroid, and Secret of Mana. We followed the mythos of these games religiously, and invented our own to fit the fact that, you know, we're on Earth, and these games don't take place on Earth. So underneath this one panel on the floor of the gym at school, was a portal to the Mana world. We just had to find a way to open it, and then we would travel to the Mana world, and be the heroes...It was all very neat. We actually believed it...or at least I did. Then, when I was in 5th grade, I believed I was Magus from Chrono Trigger. Two 2nd graders that hung around me on the school playground were my lackeys: Slash and Flea. I actually threatened them with death if they dared disobey me, and I thought that if I concentrated hard enough, I could cast Dark Matter :)
It was weird being a kid.
<P ID="signature"><HR>
<CENTER>http://members.aol.com/jadussvii/ea.jpg</CENTER></P>