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View Full Version : When I was a child...


JadussD
09-06-2003, 09:09 PM
- Until I was about 7, ceiling fans, bare light-bulbs and certain lamp-shades, the moon, and my basement were to be feared equally. To me, the ceiling fans were what caused my mother to have one leg (not cancer): At some point, she had *obviously* put her leg up in a ceiling fan, and it was cut off. Despite this fact, I had a certain reverence for fans. I became obsessed with them. I cut out pictures of them in advertisements for Builder's Square, and when ever we went to a place with fans, I would stare at them with a mixture of terror and fascination. Like death, which I had only a vague understanding of, fans were capable of exciting un-ending entertainment with their constant motion, which held for me both a simplistic sense of awe, and the potential for amputation (which I feared greatly) As for light-bulbs and lamp shades, they just wanted to kill me. They took on an anthropomorphic quality. My dreams were haunted by light-fixtures which came down on their wiring, and sucked me up into their lamp shades, burning me alive. At one point, at a Red Roof Inn in Toledo, Ohio, I absolutely refused to go into the bathroom, because I was in mortal terror of the light. My basement was occupied by "Pete", an entity that looked like Ronald Reagan, and cried blood. His broken-light-fixture friend was his side-kick. I would dream of being sucked down into the basement, and being tickled in the most unpleasant manner possible by Pete and the light-fixture, before being burned by the light-fixture. It was the purest terror imaginable. Just absolute terror. The corner in my room was ominous as well. It was also anthropomorphic, with the area where the walls met the ceiling being its arms, and the are where the two walls met being it's body. It would reach down and tickle me. Somehow, I acquired an extreme aversion to tickling when I was 3. I really don't want to get into why, but I'll just say that when I read a psychological evaluation a few years ago from when I was 3, it made me re-think the reasons why I don't have any contact with a certain friend-of-the-family.

- Later on, when I was about 8, I discovered video games. Video games were alternate worlds, just as important as the reality we lived in. I went to school, I did my homework, simply so I could escape into these worlds. I convinced a friend that The Legend of Zelda was real, we were to be Link's muilti-dimensional co-heroes, and that Aganihm and Ganon were incarnated on Earth, so we had to watch out for them. We would look in a car, see a suspicious-looking man driving, and THAT was the Earthly incarnation of Ganon. To travel to Hyrule, we would need to obtain Rupees. We discovered that we would first have to go to India. Then other games became real: Mortal Kombat, Super Metroid, and Secret of Mana. We followed the mythos of these games religiously, and invented our own to fit the fact that, you know, we're on Earth, and these games don't take place on Earth. So underneath this one panel on the floor of the gym at school, was a portal to the Mana world. We just had to find a way to open it, and then we would travel to the Mana world, and be the heroes...It was all very neat. We actually believed it...or at least I did. Then, when I was in 5th grade, I believed I was Magus from Chrono Trigger. Two 2nd graders that hung around me on the school playground were my lackeys: Slash and Flea. I actually threatened them with death if they dared disobey me, and I thought that if I concentrated hard enough, I could cast Dark Matter :)

It was weird being a kid.

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Octocrook
09-06-2003, 11:50 PM
>

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Reaper man
09-07-2003, 12:24 AM
whoa, quite an imagination there <img src=smilies/eek13.gif>

and your mothers' leg was chopped off by a ceiling fan? <img src=smilies/errrr.gif> did it use sharp metal blades?

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Crazy_MYKL
09-07-2003, 01:10 AM
Don't do drugs...

OR

Do more drugs...


That's pretty funny.
<img src=smilies/laff.gif>





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maq112k2
09-07-2003, 02:55 AM
I've never laughed so hard at a diaries post.

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holyhandwrit
09-07-2003, 03:21 AM
Brilliant.

In reference to the fans:
I have and always have had a tentative, subtle fear for fans, similarly in fashion. This is in conveyance to the ultra-extreme-blast setting most ceiling fans have. Putting the fan on the highest setting can sometimes cause it to wobble, opening the likelihood for it to unhinge itself from the ceiling and spin around the room like a chaotic blade of death.
I mean those things go FAST. I sure as hell wouldn't wanna be in the same room if it decided to mutually break from the mounting surface and go berserk, smashing everything in the vicinity. Even if I'm in the tropics without the blessing of air conditioning, trying to get some shut-eye (while simultaneously drenching my pajamas with my sweat gland extract) I wouldn't run the risk of turning one of those suckers up to full blast.
I made up a phobia (something of which seems to be all the rage with kids these days) for loosely mounted ceiling fans:
unhingecyclonophobia n.
an abnormal fear of poorly affixed ceiling fans losing their embrace and causing a "heap big trouble" amongst the good folk down yonder

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Kuikorosu
09-07-2003, 08:00 AM
Man, that's not drugs. That's the effects of childhood imagination run wild. We all went through that as kids. Geez, I used to have dreams about being sucked into the television.

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icenine0
09-07-2003, 08:06 AM
> - Later on, when I was about 8, I discovered video games.
> Video games were alternate worlds, just as important as the
> reality we lived in.

Awesomely written, as per usual. Reminds me of my elementary days...

When I was in 4th-5th grade, I had a friend named Tera. She was sort of an unpopular geek, but she dug Nintendo(!), which made her okay in my book. During recess, we'd run off and make up whacky VG-esque games while everyone else played tag or soccer or whatever. I'd describe places and monsters and whatnot, and then she'd pretend to fight through them --- kinda like a live-action Dungeons and Dragons. It was a lot of fun.

So, anyway, we'd make up other weird stuff too. For example, she'd tell me about a secret organization called "Network" that recruited only the finest minds from the Elementary school system. They had robots and ninjas, a real top quality outfit. We were, of course, both in line for officership, and she offered daily status reports. "Just a few more weeks," she'd say, "we're going to be initiated soon. It's gonna be great! They're working on some new electro armor blah blah." My life was shit at the time, so I genuinely hoped it was all true.

Also, we thought we could cast magic a la Final Fantasy, cuz I found out that if I cupped my hand and thought about burning stuff, my palm would get pretty warm*. I really thought I was on to something and figured I'd soon be throwing fireballs about the courtyard. Similarly, her hands were cold one day, so we deduced that she had "Ice Mastery."

Ah, the carefree days of youth.

*This, unfortunately, is a completely mundane phenomena.

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blackize
09-07-2003, 11:16 AM
My friends and I used to think we were the X-Men at recess. At my elementary school's lower playground, there was a little wooded area which we used as our base. We even fortified the "walls" with logs and other scrap we could find. It was all pretty cool and fun to chase around and beat up the non-X-Men kids, until the day I was hit in the back of head when someone threw a log. The funny thing is about my school, the cool kids were the ones who dug X-Men and video games and shit, the nerds liked the other shit everyone else hated. So the X-Men fanatics beat up the nerds.

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Fla Flash
09-07-2003, 12:39 PM
You own.
Everyone, at one point in their childhood lets fear and imagination take over. I have too.
Great post.<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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