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View Full Version : an open letter to my roommates:

wingless
07-30-2003, 12:43 AM
dear roommates,

i dont mind if you eat the cookie bars i made the other day. hell, i dont even mind if you eat most of them.... but please... please, for the love of god and all that is good and holy... please put the foil back on top of it after you are done.

it isnt because i'm a prude, or picky, or trying to be obnoxious... but because i dont want the free-flowing cat hair from one or more of the 4 cats in this house to land on the cookie bars.

if this were to happen, i would inevitably find one in my mouth at some point and throw up on my keyboard, which i would then have to replace. so please, help me conserve my finances... cover the cookie bars with the god damn foil.

your loving occupant,
christa

<img src=smilies/banghead.gif>

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SwampGas
07-30-2003, 12:50 AM
dear christa,

may i first say that i wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of the foil situation.

to that end, i'd like to extend my warmest welcome and invition to you for occupancy at my residence. i promise to recoil the cookie bowl.

your friendliest neighbor,
sam

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wingless
07-30-2003, 12:56 AM
> to that end, i'd like to extend my warmest welcome and
> invition to you for occupancy at my residence. i promise to
> recoil the cookie bowl.
> your friendliest neighbor,
> sam

dear sam,

thank you very much for your support, and also for your offer. i must, however, decline... for upon the morning of august the 9th, i will begin my residency in a new apartment with my dearest love alex. i do so hope that you recognize the nature of my rejection.... as it is one that does stand indefinitely.

as always, your rejecter,
christa

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Lobster Cowboy
07-30-2003, 02:10 AM
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puduhead
07-30-2003, 03:11 AM
Dear Sam,

She has a boyfriend. But her unemployed brother will move in instead.

Love,
John

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://i.xanga.com/JohnDietzel/puduhead.jpg></P>
shawn
07-30-2003, 04:09 AM
> She has a boyfriend. But her unemployed brother will move
> in instead

If you 2 moved in together I could see the newspaper headlines a week from now

2 men found in Pennsylvania apartment dead from what police describe as the most severe case of alcohol poisoning in US history, seems there livers actually exploded causing instant death. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://d-216-195-187-203.metrocast.net/Yugioh.jpg>
One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know! </P>
maq112k2
07-30-2003, 04:39 AM
Dear John,

Upon moving in, don't forget the condoms and KY jelly.

-- Rick.

<P ID="signature">--------------------------
(>'.')></P>
shawn
07-30-2003, 05:09 AM
> Dear John,
>
> Upon moving in, don't forget the condoms and KY jelly.

Yeah, SwampGas is kind of a stickler for proper lubrication with his tender ass. <img src=smilies/moon.gif>

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://d-216-195-187-203.metrocast.net/Yugioh.jpg>
One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know! </P>
wingless
07-30-2003, 05:11 AM
> Yeah, SwampGas is kind of a stickler for proper lubrication
> with his tender ass.

i assume you're speaking from experience.


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shawn
07-30-2003, 05:20 AM
> i assume you're speaking from experience.

No, but if you want to help we can set up a meeting place and see if the stuff works as advertised. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://d-216-195-187-203.metrocast.net/Yugioh.jpg>
One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know! </P>
SharkESP
07-30-2003, 05:40 AM
Dear Crista,

Happy to see you're gonna be happy and sad to see you're off the market. Please call Shark's Escort Service (number enclosed) for all your backdoor man needs.

Dear Sam,

Congratulations, you've been rejected. You are the first, you will not be the last ;-)

Dear John,

COnsider checking into detox first. Get clean, my brother.

Dear Shawn,

No Comment


All signed,
your awaiting lover/good buddy/supprter/not THAT good buddy

Steve

<P ID="signature">Peace Sells, but who's buyin? - Dave Mustaine</P>
shawn
07-30-2003, 05:43 AM
> Dear Shawn,
>
> No Comment

Well you finish that psychology course and I'll bet you could write at least a paragraph to me next time. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://d-216-195-187-203.metrocast.net/Yugioh.jpg>
One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know! </P>
SharkESP
07-30-2003, 05:55 AM
Dear Shawn,

I'm a comp sci major, motherfucker ;-)

Sincerely,

Steve

<P ID="signature">Peace Sells, but who's buyin? - Dave Mustaine</P>
wingless
07-30-2003, 06:02 AM
> Dear Crista,
> Happy to see you're gonna be happy and sad to see you're off
> the market. Please call Shark's Escort Service (number
> enclosed) for all your backdoor man needs.

Steve,

Actually, i've been off of the market for almost a year. The thought of a "backdoor man" sounds painful. sorry, i'm not into that! hehehehe

> Dear Sam,
>
> Congratulations, you've been rejected. You are the first,
> you will not be the last ;-)

hehehe nah, he wasnt the first either. hell, i'm one of the few females on an emulation board!! there have been many ;)

> All signed,
> your awaiting lover/good buddy/supprter/not THAT good buddy

lol.... awaiting lover, eh? you and almost everyone else. heh, jk ;)

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puduhead
07-30-2003, 06:05 AM
she rejected me too.


<P ID="signature"><img src=http://i.xanga.com/JohnDietzel/puduhead.jpg></P>
wingless
07-30-2003, 06:06 AM
> she rejected me too.

its true.


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SharkESP
07-30-2003, 06:08 AM
> > Dear Crista,
> > Happy to see you're gonna be happy and sad to see you're
> off
> > the market. Please call Shark's Escort Service (number
> > enclosed) for all your backdoor man needs.

> Steve,
>
> Actually, i've been off of the market for almost a year.
> The thought of a "backdoor man" sounds painful. sorry, i'm
> not into that! hehehehe

I'm referring to the term popularized in AC/DC lore of sneaking in the back, making love, and leaving out th eback door of the house so no one sees. Not butt sex.

> hehehe nah, he wasnt the first either. hell, i'm one of the
> few females on an emulation board!! there have been many ;)

So So true...

> > All signed,
> > your awaiting lover/good buddy/supprter/not THAT good
> buddy

> lol.... awaiting lover, eh? you and almost everyone else.
> heh, jk ;)
>

Well, i don't know if you're joking about that. You are one of the only ladies here... most likely everyone but John would be a potential candidate for "awaiting lover." Thanks for the wink though, babygirl <img src=smilies/liefde.gif>



<P ID="signature">Peace Sells, but who's buyin? - Dave Mustaine</P>
wingless
07-30-2003, 06:51 AM
> I'm referring to the term popularized in AC/DC lore of
> sneaking in the back, making love, and leaving out th eback
> door of the house so no one sees. Not butt sex.

hahaha i know... i was just fucking with ya

> Well, i don't know if you're joking about that. You are one
> of the only ladies here... most likely everyone but John
> would be a potential candidate for "awaiting lover."

you'd be surprised!! <img src=smilies/errrr.gif>

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SharkESP
07-31-2003, 05:17 AM
Dear Crista,

I would like to continue this fun and witty sexual banter, but have fun out of good one liners and don't wish to persue it too far (i.e. the Mecoli syndrome).

Thank you for fucking with me as you have, because you are 3000 miles away and will come no closer to causing me an orgasm in the *near* future ;-).

Please note also that i understand 90+ percent of the males on the internet (and 99 percent of the emulation populace) is made up of immature and whining little boys who think "EYE'LL ROXOR ur BOXORS!" is a valid insertion in foreplay. While i don't go trrough your pain, i understand where ti comes from.

Sincerely,

Steve

P.S. if you are ever in the central florida area (Tampa-Lakeland-Orlando), please let me know. I would love the chance to share some company and fuck with your mind, if not your body ;-)

<P ID="signature">Peace Sells, but who's buyin? - Dave Mustaine</P>
SpaceTiger
07-31-2003, 07:36 AM
I had a roommate shit on my floor once.

Sadly, I'm not kidding. /wwwthreads/images/icons/frown.gif

<P ID="signature">http://www.astro.princeton.edu/~nbond/tiger5.bmp</p>
wingless
07-31-2003, 10:52 PM
> I had a roommate shit on my floor once.
>
> Sadly, I'm not kidding.

hahaha oh my gosh, that's so terrible!!!! why did they do it?

my roommate's brother had a roommate who pissed in their kitchen sink because he didnt want to walk to the bathroom.


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wingless
07-31-2003, 11:25 PM
Dear Steve,

It was amusing while it lasted, but i thought that it was long since over. apparently i had been mistaken... however, i have a very short attention span. i trust that this will end the "fun and witty sexual banter". i appreciate your willingness to realize how far is too far... but rest assured, when it's only in fun, you did not go close to too far.

I do love to fuck with people. As long as you realize that i only like to fuck with people.... then we're good. I do so hope that I do not cause you to have an orgasm ever... but that's just me :P

Believe it or not, many of the people here have made me proud to frequent this board. When it comes down to it, most of these guys are really really good people. I just shrug most of the advances off, or laugh. I undestand that I'm one of the few females on this board... the advances just come with the territory. I feel no pain... only amusement. Thank you for your concern.

Sincerely,
Christa

PS- I never plan on being in Florida, but who knows. I'm done with my whole "meeting people from online" thing, so I'm fairly positive that we will never converse face to face. Thank you for the offer, however. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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SpaceTiger
08-01-2003, 02:36 AM
> hahaha oh my gosh, that's so terrible!!!! why did they do
> it?

Very VERY drunk.

<P ID="signature">http://www.astro.princeton.edu/~nbond/tiger5.bmp</P>
sephiroth111
08-04-2003, 04:05 AM
why does that remind me of a story a friend told me about his drunk friend who passed out in his own bedroom

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give a man a match and he will be warm for a night. light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life. </P>