moving out with the boyfriend [Archive]

wingless

07-16-2003, 02:13 AM

his parents dont approve. my parents dont approve. they know they have to deal with it. we're still waiting for the apartments to call us and tell us that our applications are approved. i'm nervous <img src=smilies/erm.gif> . i'm sure it will be okay... the lady we were talking to wants us to move in so badly. if we're approved, we move in at the beginning of august.

we practically live together anyway, but now i have to help him keep tabs on his money. he's never had to, and he's bad with money. rent is $809/mo for our (hopefully our) 725 square foot 1 bedroom apartment. $809 is really good here... it's low income housing for here (we have to make less than $36,000 yearly combined. we barely make the income cut).

i'm not worried about how well we'll get along... we've been together for almost a year now and we get along great. i just hope he doesnt view me as a nag when i tell him that he cant afford to buy lunch for everyone all the time, or he cant afford another video game this month (which has already happened.... today, actually). he's the one who told me to stop him from spending so much, after all. i make more money than he does, and he spends his more freely.

i'm so excited and so worried at the same time! bah. <img src=smilies/banghead.gif>

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puduhead

07-16-2003, 02:48 AM

Good luck.

I lived with my cat once. It was nice.

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shawn

07-16-2003, 11:55 AM

For people like that have his company take a portion out of his check and have it direct deposited into the bank so even if he does messup on buying something you always have his share of the food, rent, and utilities. This really does work because a friend of mine who is terrible with money does it and he hasn't had a rent or utility problem since then except when he makes long distance phone calls but he put a block on the phone so it's not a problem either now. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know!

wingless

07-16-2003, 04:38 PM

> For people like that have his company take a portion out of
> his check and have it direct deposited into the bank so even
> if he does messup on buying something you always have his
> share of the food, rent, and utilities.

except that he doesnt cash his checks... he just uses his card. i dont think this'd work. its a good idea, but he actually looks at his bank account and thinks he has enough money to buy whatever, but in actuality he doesnt.... or something else comes along that he has to do (like a school bill or something)

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Drako_Dragon

07-16-2003, 04:38 PM

> rent is $809/mo for our (hopefully our) 725
> square foot 1 bedroom apartment. $809 is really good
> here...

FUCK!! 2 bedroom apartments are more like $450 around here....
Hell my house payment is only $525...

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shawn

07-16-2003, 04:43 PM

Bad spenders and credit cards do not mix ever, get him to loose the card or at least let you hold it, this little card may be the thing that could start that argument that really messes up your relationship and that is just wrong to let money problems that shouldn't be a problem wreck love. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know!

wingless

07-16-2003, 04:55 PM

> Bad spenders and credit cards do not mix ever, get him to
> loose the card or at least let you hold it, this little card
> may be the thing that could start that argument that really
> messes up your relationship and that is just wrong to let
> money problems that shouldn't be a problem wreck love.

yeah, he doesnt use his credit card much... its his Visa Check card that he uses all the time. He already has me holding onto it. we dont really get into arguments. it usually it goes:

person 1: "blah blah blah"
person 2: "blah blah blah blah blah."
person 1: ".... i'm sorry. blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah"
person 2: "blah blah blah blah"
[insert hugging here]

or sometimes it goes:

person 1: "blah blah blah"
person 2: "blah blah blah blah blah."
person 1: ".... i'm sorry. blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah"
[insert crying of person 1 here]
[insert hugging here]
[insert crying of person 2 here]
[insert more hugging and crying here]

we've never actually argued. we get along pretty damn well.

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wingless

07-16-2003, 04:56 PM

> FUCK!! 2 bedroom apartments are more like $450 around
> here....
> Hell my house payment is only $525...

and such is orange county, southern california. i was renting a 2 bedroom apt for $1200 last year. that's typical. despite the prices, i never want to move from this area. i love it.

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shawn

07-16-2003, 05:03 PM

Well either way he needs to loose the card and get a daily allowance of money till he gets his spending habit under control. I can't save money and I used to splurge spend, I spent the $20K I got when my mom died in less that 6 months on just this and that and have nothing to show for it but a hard learned lesson on spending habits and he's an adult and should learn this, and you 2 can also save some money for your future instead of just planning for your future debt. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know!

RedXIII

07-16-2003, 05:31 PM

> rent is $809/mo for our (hopefully our) 725
> square foot 1 bedroom apartment.

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick! $809?!?! For a 1 bedroom? Shit my girl pays about $450 a month for a 3 bedroom and that's low income housing. Where ever you live, you need to relocate.

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IceWolf20

07-16-2003, 05:40 PM

> FUCK!! 2 bedroom apartments are more like $450 around
> here....
> Hell my house payment is only $525...

Damn...where the hell are you ppl living?!? I pay $900/mo (that's with a freakin discount) for a 1 bedroom 540 sq. ft. (yeah, its a freakin closet) aptartment. This was the SECOND cheapest place I found...the only other place was a complete shithole, and for $50/mo more, I chose to live a wee bit nicer place. A "good" 1 bdrm 700+ sq. ft. place around here goes for at least $1200/mo.

Damn....I need a raise....no wonder I'm fucking broke. Either that, or I should look into living out of my car.....hmmm...

wingless

07-16-2003, 05:45 PM

> Well either way he needs to loose the card and get a daily
> allowance of money till he gets his spending habit under
> control.

part of the problem is the fact that i dont want to be his finance mommy. i dont want to be like: "alright, sweetie... you can have $20 this week to spend on whatever you want!". i want him to learn how to do this on his own. that wont happen by me doing it all for him (which i refuse to do). for now i'm trying to help him with self control. he hesitantly decided that he isnt going to buy the game he wants until his next paycheck (and even then, we'll see. he doesnt make a whole lot).

> he's an adult and
> should learn this, and you 2 can also save some money for
> your future instead of just planning for your future debt.

yeah. part of the hard thing is i refuse to get a joint account with him. i wont do that with anyone until i'm married. he even suggested that we open a joint account so I could manage the money, but i wont do that. he has things he's saving up for, I have things I'm saving up for. I just dont feel comfortable having the same pot of money right now. maybe if/when we get married we'll have the same account. until then, his money is his money and my money is my money.... and i prefer it to be viewed as such. luckily, neither of us really have debt. while he does have a credit card, he has good credit... he makes his payments on time and everything. he's just never had to pay rent before. this is all new to him.

any other suggestions you might have would be appreciated. you seem to know a lot in this matter.

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wingless

07-16-2003, 05:47 PM

> Damn...where the hell are you ppl living?!?

that's what i'm wondering!

> I pay $900/mo
> (that's with a freakin discount) for a 1 bedroom 540 sq. ft.
> A "good" 1 bdrm 700+ sq. ft. place
> around here goes for at least $1200/mo.

wow, that's even worse than me!!! where do YOU live?

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shawn

07-16-2003, 05:48 PM

The housing in my area is really tight right now, the average 1 bedroom goes for about $150/wk plus utilities and that's for a pretty old apartment in bad shape, a decent one *not great* will run you around 180/wk plus utilities and that mean paying your own heating bill with most apartments and in NH that could run you around a $1000 or more. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know!

IceWolf20

07-16-2003, 07:39 PM

> wow, that's even worse than me!!! where do YOU live?

Northern Virgina....just west of DC. The shittiest part of it is that I live where I do b/c it's only 2 miles from work...other places were 8 and 12 miles...but around here that translates into a 45-60 minute drive....which sucks massive weenie....hell it takes me 15-20 min to go 2 miles!!! GAH! (Unless of course I'm running late, then everyone's already at work and I can get there in a little under 10 minutes). I guess the only fortunate thing is that I don't live "in" a city....otherwise it would be completely insane. Then again, my lazy ass could just walk to work....

But I guess this isn't quite as bad as a commute in Los Angeles....or Atlanta...

Drako_Dragon

07-16-2003, 09:17 PM

> > FUCK!! 2 bedroom apartments are more like $450 around
> > here....
> > Hell my house payment is only $525...
>
> Damn...where the hell are you ppl living?!?

Missouri

> Damn....I need a raise....no wonder I'm fucking broke.
> Either that, or I should look into living out of my
> car.....hmmm...

Buy a camper trailer and live out of it. It will minimize the amount of stuff you have, and if the heat comes down you just get out of town... <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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Tsyni

07-26-2003, 06:51 AM

I live in Canada, and my rent is $550(including electricity, water etc etc) and i have a big bedroom, a large living room, full kitchen, full closet, bathroom, and a big hall closet.

It's a basement suite. Everyone move to canada, yay!

What do you do, how tired do you get when each day you struggle against an entire culture based on the normalization of trauma-inducing behavior? There is no sanctuary.

IceWolf20

07-28-2003, 02:32 PM

> I live in Canada, and my rent is $550(including electricity,
> water etc etc) and i have a big bedroom, a large living
> room, full kitchen, full closet, bathroom, and a big hall
> closet.

So, is this $550CAN or $550USD? If its CAN then at this moment 1 USD = 1.38040 CAD, therefore, $550CAN = $398.434 USD. Damn, for $400 that's a pretty schweet apt.

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shawn

07-28-2003, 07:47 PM

> Good grief? How much?
> My dad's renting a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house plus a little
> surrounding property for $300 a month.
> But like everyone says... Location location location.

Hell that's like $800/month and you pay your own utilities in NH even if the house is not in great condition. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

<img src=http://d-216-195-187-203.metrocast.net/Yugioh.jpg>
One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know!

Tsyni

07-28-2003, 08:30 PM

> So, is this $550CAN or $550USD? If its CAN then at this
> moment 1 USD = 1.38040 CAD, therefore, $550CAN = $398.434
> USD. Damn, for $400 that's a pretty schweet apt.

Canadian dollars, minimum wage in BC is $8/hour, i make about $8.5-9, but i get a lot of overtime, sometimes 70 hours a week total hours(thats only if i want, the place i work is achin for extra people). And overtime = time and a half

What do you do, how tired do you get when each day you struggle against an entire culture based on the normalization of trauma-inducing behavior? There is no sanctuary.

wingless

07-29-2003, 10:34 PM

> My dad's renting a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house plus a little
> surrounding property for $300 a month.

that's just insane

> But like everyone says... Location location location.

yeah, as much as i dislike the living costs where i am, i consider it completely worth it! <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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Kitsune Sniper

07-29-2003, 11:09 PM

> yeah, as much as i dislike the living costs where i am, i
> consider it completely worth it!

It could be worse. You could be living in California, where you'd pay 2400 dollars for the little apartment you're getting.

When I was in Tennessee, my sisters told me that land was cheap. They got their house, built around the mid 1940's, and a half acre of land, for 56 grand. Lucky them...

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Narvick

07-30-2003, 02:34 AM

It's a big step. I've never lived with a girlfriend before. Then again, all my girlfriends were unstable whiny little girls <img src=smilies/banghead.gif>

:o....:o!

wingless

07-30-2003, 02:43 AM

> It's a big step. I've never lived with a girlfriend before.
> Then again, all my girlfriends were unstable whiny little
> girls

yyyyyeah, i'm far from that. i'm done with my unstable phase.... and even when i was in my unstable phase, i was the quiet stand-offish type of unstable. i cant STAND the girl kind of girls. i seriously just dont understand most girls. i'm the kind of girl who doesnt like a guy who is too clingy, but a guy who likes to spend time with me. i dont want a guy to need me. i want a guy to want me... but not in that stalker sort of way. alex fits the bill. we get along great, and we can sit in separate rooms playing separate video game systems and be totally fine with it. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

btw, love the avatar... http://www.leela.com.ar/smilies/drool.gif

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puduhead

07-30-2003, 03:10 AM

> It could be worse. You could be living in California, where
> you'd pay 2400 dollars for the little apartment you're
> getting.

She lives in Cali dude. But not San Fransico or whatever area you got your $ quotes from.

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wingless

07-30-2003, 04:11 AM

> > It could be worse. You could be living in California,
> where
> > you'd pay 2400 dollars for the little apartment you're
> > getting.
> She lives in Cali dude. But not San Fransico or whatever
> area you got your $ quotes from.

hahaha yeah, i thought that was funny. I'm in the infamous OC (Orange County).

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Narvick

07-30-2003, 05:14 AM

You make me blush in ways only girls I know online at emulation sites I work at can. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

:o....:o!

Kitsune Sniper

07-30-2003, 05:30 AM

> hahaha yeah, i thought that was funny. I'm in the infamous
> OC (Orange County).

*glares* Sheesh.

And I wasn't talking of San Francisco. I was talking of L.A.

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wingless

07-30-2003, 05:40 AM

> You make me blush in ways only girls I know online at
> emulation sites I work at can.

aww gee http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/liebe/love-smiley-038.gif

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wingless

07-30-2003, 05:53 AM

> *glares* Sheesh.
>
> And I wasn't talking of San Francisco. I was talking of L.A.

whoa, glare? for what? <img src=smilies/erm.gif>

i'm like 30 mins south of LA. i think apartments cost more right here in Orange County than they do in LA... of course, apartments here can be more than $3000 too. I just dont have expensive taste (hah! like i could afford it anyway). i guess that's obvious since i'm going to be moving to low income housing :)

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Narvick

07-30-2003, 06:21 AM

I live in a 3 bedroom duplex on a good side of town. It costs $470 a month. Hah. :o

:o....:o!

SharkESP

07-30-2003, 06:22 AM

What about Orange County, FL?

you'd be closer... <img src=smilies/cry.gif>

Peace Sells, but who's buyin? - Dave Mustaine

wingless

07-30-2003, 11:16 AM

> What about Orange County, FL?
>
> you'd be closer...

heh, uhhh... no. hopefully i'll never have to move from here.

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Kitsune Sniper

07-30-2003, 04:57 PM

> whoa, glare? for what?

It's just the way I say "Eh." Kinda like the -_- face in anime. I can't explain it.

Meh. Â¬Â¬

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Kitsune Sniper

07-30-2003, 04:59 PM

> heh, uhhh... no. hopefully i'll never have to move from
> here.

Aw come on, you know that you'll leave once California separates itself from the US and declares itself an independent nation!

Gotta love the San Andreas Fault, no? <img src=smilies/cwm27.gif>

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shawn

07-30-2003, 05:35 PM

> Aw come on, you know that you'll leave once California
> separates itself from the US and declares itself an
> independent nation!

I think it'll be more like everyone in the US will move to california after they declare independence. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

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One is not truly wise till they realize how much they do not know!

wingless

07-31-2003, 10:50 PM

> It's just the way I say "Eh." Kinda like the -_- face in
> anime. I can't explain it.

oh, okay... i take it as the "i cant believe you're such a bitch" look... but i guess that wasnt what you meant. i was just taken off guard by it... i was like "WHOA! What the fuck did i do??!". oh well.

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wingless

07-31-2003, 10:51 PM

> Aw come on, you know that you'll leave once California
> separates itself from the US and declares itself an
> independent nation!
>
> Gotta love the San Andreas Fault, no?

hehe, i thought we were just going to fall off into the ocean... ;)

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Kitsune Sniper

07-31-2003, 11:53 PM

> hehe, i thought we were just going to fall off into the
> ocean... ;)

I live a little bit away from an inactive volcano. I'm not falling to the ocean, I'm falling into a pit in the ground or burn with lava.

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wingless

08-01-2003, 03:37 PM

> I live a little bit away from an inactive volcano. I'm not
> falling to the ocean, I'm falling into a pit in the ground
> or burn with lava.

<img src=smilies/laff.gif> oh, well then that's MUCH better.

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pepsibeth

08-01-2003, 04:36 PM

Yeah, my section of the 4-plex that I live in is 660 a month - about 475 US, it's a split level (where you walk in the door and you can either go upstairs or downstairs) with 2 bedrooms plus a den, big living room, dining room, kitchen, 2 bathrooms, washer and dryer, balcony, and storage area. The utilities that I pay add up to about 75-100 (50-72 US) dollars more a month (cable, phone, heat and gas), so it's still pretty affordable and it's in one of the better areas of the city. Plus my balcony looks out onto this bigass field facing north and sometimes in the summer if I'm up really late, I can see the northern lights. It's very nice. So yeah, Canada obviously rocks for rent... <img src=smilies/cwm11.gif>

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GeminiMan

08-01-2003, 08:31 PM

> I live a little bit away from an inactive volcano. I'm not
> falling to the ocean, I'm falling into a pit in the ground
> or burn with lava.

Hey, that sounds like fun. Can I come and visit?

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SpaceTiger

08-01-2003, 09:50 PM

<table><tr><td>http://www.utdallas.edu/pretext/PT1.1/Geraldo.jpg</td><td>"I believe one plus one equals more than two"</td></tr></table>

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wingless

08-01-2003, 10:21 PM

> "I believe one plus one equals more than two"

huh????! <img src=smilies/eek13.gif>

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shawn

08-01-2003, 10:28 PM

> > "I believe one plus one equals more than two"
>
> huh????!

He got me with that one to, it must be one of those leet reporter inside jokes. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

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Kitsune Sniper

08-02-2003, 02:39 AM

> > "I believe one plus one equals more than two"

> huh????!

Eventually, reproduction will be involved. Hence, one plus one equals more than two.

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wingless

08-02-2003, 03:47 AM

> Eventually, reproduction will be involved. Hence, one plus
> one equals more than two.

ohhh, okay. i get it now. thanks <img src=smilies/retard.gif>

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Canar

08-07-2003, 10:50 PM

> his parents dont approve. my parents dont approve. they
> know they have to deal with it. we're still waiting for the
> apartments to call us and tell us that our applications are
> approved.

Hate to tell you, but you're not setting a very good precedent. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

wingless

08-07-2003, 10:54 PM

> Hate to tell you, but you're not setting a very good
> precedent.

what the fuck do you mean? <img src=smilies/eek13.gif>

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Paladyn

08-07-2003, 10:57 PM

> > Hate to tell you, but you're not setting a very good
> > precedent.
>
> what the fuck do you mean?

look at every every use of the word "approve"
<img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

Of all the words of thought or pen, the saddest are these: "what might have been".

wingless

08-07-2003, 11:15 PM

> look at every every use of the word "approve"

haha, oh... i didnt even notice that. well our applications are approved and we're moving in on Saturday. his mom keeps telling us to hurry and get married (when we arent even engaged or anything). plus, his mom is giving us new furniture that she just bought..... so i guess we're kind of approved there too ;)

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puduhead

08-08-2003, 07:19 AM

I had a dream that you did get engaged. But don't mind me, I usually have very fucked up dreams. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

<img src=http://i.xanga.com/JohnDietzel/puduhead.jpg>

wingless

08-08-2003, 08:29 AM

> I had a dream that you did get engaged. But don't mind me,
> I usually have very fucked up dreams.

ack... weird! i hate that his mom is even bringing up marriage stuff because i dont like thinking about it. the idea is fun and all, but i dont want to be married or even engaged right now. i know that i want to be with alex. i know that he wants to be with me. that's all i want right now. never the less, i've got the idea of marriage on the brain now. i dont like it. it's maddening. and now you've had a dream about it! every time i talked to tristan, she's like: "so are you engaged yet?!" people are like, obsessed. bleh.

Why cant they leave me... ALONE?!?!!!!!!

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Octocrook

08-08-2003, 08:37 AM

> every time i talked to tristan, she's
> like: "so are you engaged yet?!" people are like, obsessed.
> bleh.

It beats my mom asking me every time I go somewhere new if I met any girls and basically telling me I should date whatever girls I meet. I think I need to get away from this dictatorshipped house before I even have a chance of finding a gf!

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fairykiller

08-08-2003, 12:08 PM

> It beats my mom asking me every time I go somewhere new if I
> met any girls and basically telling me I should date
> whatever girls I meet. I think I need to get away from this
> dictatorshipped house before I even have a chance of finding
> a gf!

You think that's a dictatorship <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

I have a friend (she's from India, studying abroad) who was recently 'allowed' to have a boyfriend on the condition that she would marry him eventually (if this wasn't possible then her mom was perfectly willing to arrange for a marriage with a nice Indian boy within a week) and that she won't 'behave inappropriately' with him until they are married. She had to promise her mom that she wouldn't kiss her boyfriend! Oh, and she's 22 years old. Sometimes you just gotta love Indian parents <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

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cbxweb

08-10-2003, 06:47 AM

> FUCK!! 2 bedroom apartments are more like $450 around
> here....
> Hell my house payment is only $525...

Crap thats low were are you?

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If we're wrong, we go to jail---peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.