SwampGas
03-28-2002, 10:57 AM
she kept calling me...and naturally, i was ready to cave in. i couldn't stand living in that depressive state anymore.
i invited her down to the radio station..she got there around 2am. we talked.
she had sex with another man last week. the ultimately unthinkable thing.
i gave little to no reaction. didn't know what to think..what to say..what to do. still don't. she said they didn't finish, and on the way home she called some crisis hotline because she couldn't drive and was bawling her eyes out.
she explained that is why she went to a couselor (not sure if i mentioned that...she's going to a counselor now).
anyway, she left around 4am, came back at 5:30am, and we went out to breakfast. still didn't know what to think..i mean, jesus christ...someone else "had" her. not even boyfriend/girlfriend.
around 6:30pm, we were back at my place...we stayed here and talked until like 10am...
she said it didn't mean anything...it felt wrong...and the entire time she was thinking about me...
my question is, how the fuck does it "just happen"? you have to 1) initiate intimate touchy feely stuff 2) kiss 3) make out 4) remove clothes 5) put on condom 6) "do it"
how the fuck does that "just happen"?
anyway, when we were over here, at first i kept my distance. i was sitting at the desk and she was sitting on the bed. she would occasionally come over and try to hug me or kiss me on the cheek. then she layed down and i sat next to her on the bed. i'd occasionally rub her arm or something. then i layed down and she crept up next to me...put her arm around and stuff...
then she had to go because it was 8am and she had to get some sleep. before she went to leave, i gave her a hug. don't know what the hell came over me. started kissing her on her neck. we both sat down again. chatted more...i still couldn't understand how something like that "just happens".
i was sitting in the edge of the bed...she sat on my lap facing me...and damnit...
even after all that nonsense she pulled...that huge list of things i mentioned the other day..she did ALL of them. EVERY single one that i wouldn't tolerate...she still was the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. so i kissed her...and i mean kiss-kissed her..not cheek-kiss.
so we just continued to lay down and do that...not the heavy ass make out kind of kissing..just light "i love you" kinds.
so then she finally left.
i still don't know what to think...christ...another man on this earth saw her naked...stuck it "in there"....had her...ugh...
on one hand, if i let her get away with it, she can get away with anything. on the other hand, if i don't, i'll still be miserable because deep down, i really do love her.
<P ID="signature">http://www.zophar.net/graphics/sgchar.gif
<table style=filter:glow(color=purple,strength=3)>Swamp Gas</table></P>
i invited her down to the radio station..she got there around 2am. we talked.
she had sex with another man last week. the ultimately unthinkable thing.
i gave little to no reaction. didn't know what to think..what to say..what to do. still don't. she said they didn't finish, and on the way home she called some crisis hotline because she couldn't drive and was bawling her eyes out.
she explained that is why she went to a couselor (not sure if i mentioned that...she's going to a counselor now).
anyway, she left around 4am, came back at 5:30am, and we went out to breakfast. still didn't know what to think..i mean, jesus christ...someone else "had" her. not even boyfriend/girlfriend.
around 6:30pm, we were back at my place...we stayed here and talked until like 10am...
she said it didn't mean anything...it felt wrong...and the entire time she was thinking about me...
my question is, how the fuck does it "just happen"? you have to 1) initiate intimate touchy feely stuff 2) kiss 3) make out 4) remove clothes 5) put on condom 6) "do it"
how the fuck does that "just happen"?
anyway, when we were over here, at first i kept my distance. i was sitting at the desk and she was sitting on the bed. she would occasionally come over and try to hug me or kiss me on the cheek. then she layed down and i sat next to her on the bed. i'd occasionally rub her arm or something. then i layed down and she crept up next to me...put her arm around and stuff...
then she had to go because it was 8am and she had to get some sleep. before she went to leave, i gave her a hug. don't know what the hell came over me. started kissing her on her neck. we both sat down again. chatted more...i still couldn't understand how something like that "just happens".
i was sitting in the edge of the bed...she sat on my lap facing me...and damnit...
even after all that nonsense she pulled...that huge list of things i mentioned the other day..she did ALL of them. EVERY single one that i wouldn't tolerate...she still was the most beautiful girl i've ever seen. so i kissed her...and i mean kiss-kissed her..not cheek-kiss.
so we just continued to lay down and do that...not the heavy ass make out kind of kissing..just light "i love you" kinds.
so then she finally left.
i still don't know what to think...christ...another man on this earth saw her naked...stuck it "in there"....had her...ugh...
on one hand, if i let her get away with it, she can get away with anything. on the other hand, if i don't, i'll still be miserable because deep down, i really do love her.
<P ID="signature">http://www.zophar.net/graphics/sgchar.gif
<table style=filter:glow(color=purple,strength=3)>Swamp Gas</table></P>