What do you do?

[JCE3000GT]

When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair? My life sucks...and I have no real life friends. Give me a reason other than "life's too important" or "your family " to continue? I just don't have it in me anymore.

/random rant

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[Quasius]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair?

First, you might consider getting checked for clinical depression.

> My
> life sucks...and I have no real life friends.

Find an organization in your area that shares your interests.

> Give me a
> reason other than "life's too important" or "your family
> [blah blah]" to continue? I just don't have it in me
> anymore.

You never know what tomorrow holds and you are here for a reason, even if you have not discovered it yet.

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[puduhead]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair?

I don't have any good answers for you. I deal with it a lot myself. I won't recommend drinking all the time, that fucks you up.

Having IRL friends that you hang out with regularly can help to an extent, but it doesn't totally solve the problem.

I also keep my eye out for love. Whether it solves the problem or not, i dunno but I doubt it. But at least it has helped me before, and the pursuit can be a pleasant distraction, if nothing else.

I'm still looking for the real answer. I think it might have something to do with pursuing a life that is what I should have. I know, that's such a vague statement, because I don't know what life I am supposed to pursue. So I try to figure it out, and think that might be a part of the solution.

Other than that, I'm constantly trying to develop new mindsets and perspectives - anything to combat my tendency to get depressed. I'm not doing a super-great job, in fact, after writing all this, I just want to go buy a case of beer and get lost in the alcohol... but I won't. I've been cutting back cuz that is really a bad long term solution.

So basically, I'm there with you. I know how it goes. I dunno how to resolve it exactly. If things get really bad, turning to temporary use of anti-depressants could be helpful. I used them for a while but I couldn't take them for too long cuz they do change you, alter your personality and stuff - which ain't cool.

good luck.

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[CEpeep]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair? My
> life sucks...and I have no real life friends. Give me a
> reason other than "life's too important" or "your family
> [blah blah]" to continue? I just don't have it in me
> anymore.

Go to church.

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[icenine0]

Hmmmm... weeellll... I was depressed a little while ago, but a couple of things brought me out of it -- the first being taking this test I posted earlier:

http://www.typefocus.com/s_complimentaryform.htmlMyers-Brigg Thingy</A>.

and then looking at the description of my type here (very good)

http://www.gesher.org/Myers-Briggs/4%20Groupings%20of%20Type%20Background.htmlGesher. org Type Essays</A>.

It's helped me and some people I know out quite a bit. The results, for me, were a powerful affirmation that others had been in my shoes and a great insight into my wants and needs for happiness. Your results may vary, but give it a shot.

The second was a long, deep, and emotionally stirring conversation I had with a friend about our pasts. A true IRL friend cannot be overvalued; someone with whom you share mutual openness, trust, and care is a great asset. Try to find one.

One thing I've found about meaning in life is this: you need an anchor to reality. You need a reason to be here. It need not be a specific thing or person; in fact, I prefer abstracts - friends, food, happiness, atmosphere, complex problems that are fun to solve... Over the course of my life, it's been very easy for me to dismiss everything as bunk, thinking things like "Humanity will die out some time. We'll blow each other up, or the sun will explode, or something. Therefore, nothing has any point." Many people on the web exhibit this sort of cynicism. But, on the flipside of that, I believe everyone has a core of childlike trust for reality, a part of them that doesn't care about such things or even give them consideration: a part that just takes things as they are and enjoys the now.

Anyway, if you're feeling anything like I was, you're probably mentally eviscerating all of this as lies and nonsense. If that's so, take confidence in this: if you stay alive long enough, you'll eventually find something worth living for. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

<P ID="signature">The more often you fail, the sweeter the taste of success!</P>

[puduhead]

> Go to church.

Or start your own. That's how we got all the lovely churches we have today. <img src=smilies/liefde.gif>

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[Quasius]

> Go to church.

That is never bad advice.

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[JCE3000GT]

> > Go to church.
>
> That is never bad advice.

No offense but I'd rather no, I hate religon and church bullshit. Thanks anyway CEpeep...that won't help.

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[SpaceTiger]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair?

Find somebody to talk to about it. That's what I did -- it's surprisingly helpful. You don't want somebody to solve your problems, just listen to them, understand, and help you deal with them. You need somebody who won't judge you. Close friends and family will sometimes work, but if you want confidentiality, you should visit a therapist. If your feelings are due to more than just hard times, then this is definitely the way to go. This kind of thing is very common. I went through it when I was in high school, and I can tell you right now that I'm really glad I did. I think I'm a much better person for it, too. <img src=smilies/cwm11.gif>

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[SpaceTiger]

> Go to church.

Church isn't such a bad thing to provide a community and casual support service, but I would not recommend it for serious emotional issues. First of all, they're not trained to deal with it, and secondly, it can create more complexes and dependence. You need to increase your sense of independence and self-control, not surrender it.


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[icenine0]

> Go to church.

http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet_p1.htmlThe Church of the Subgenius</A>?

<P ID="signature">The more often you fail, the sweeter the taste of success!</P>

[Kitsune Sniper]

Hack roms.

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[Quasius]

> No offense but I'd rather no, I hate religon and church
> bullshit. Thanks anyway CEpeep...that won't help.

See if you can find a church without bullshit.


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[Quasius]

> You need to increase your sense of
> independence and self-control, not surrender it.

Not really. Untimatly realizing that we cannot take care of everything and control eveything and surrendering some things to God is how you can find peace.
But people can't be told that. They have to see it for themselvs.

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[SpaceTiger]

> Not really. Untimatly realizing that we cannot take care of
> everything and control eveything and surrendering some
> things to God is how you can find peace.
> But people can't be told that. They have to see it for
> themselvs.

That's what I'm saying. When somebody's feeling terrible about themselves, they're not in a condition to "discover" religion, only to become dependent upon it. I am not personally religious, but if I were, it would be something I would prefer to go into with an open mind and a relatively free heart. It's like a relationship. You should get your shit together before you go into a serious one.

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[Quasius]

> When somebody's feeling terrible
> about themselves, they're not in a condition to "discover"
> religion, only to become dependent upon it.

There is never a bad time. In fact when someone is in the dumps may be a great time. but as I said, I don't expect you or anyone else to understand it. You have to find it for yourself.

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[puduhead]

> I am not personally religious, but if I were, it would be
> something I would prefer to go into with an open mind and a
> relatively free heart. It's like a relationship. You should get
> your shit together before you go into a serious one.

Absolutely agree...

And more importantly for this thread - JCE3000GT seems to rather agree with the notion. So it's not gonna be the solution for him right now either.

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[puduhead]

> I don't expect you or anyone else to understand it. You have to
> find it for yourself.

Or else commit suicide? No, I am sure you wouldn't suggest that as the alternative. And that's rather the point. There are a lot of options in life, and recovery through life problems is gonna happen differently for each person.

Which makes your religion suggestion *an* option. There are others. For anyone to say otherwise would just be religious propoganda.

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[Quasius]

> Or else commit suicide?

No. I am not saying it is the only solution. I am saying it is the best one. I am also saying that there is no way I can convince anyone of that. I can only try to nudge them in the right direction.
But anyway, this should not go much farther. I have given my suggestion, and this is not a debate thread.

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[blackize]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair?

Don't turn to alcohol like my friend did, it only makes things worse. Find someone you trust and who you're close to, and talk about what's going in your life. I find that talking to someone close to me helps a lot.

Or as I once heard it from the show, "Mind of the Married Man" (correct title?): When it doubt, jerk it out. I find that helps when I have a lot of "built up stress." <img src=smilies/laff.gif>

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[SivakDrac]

Do more than sit around and think. Thinking will eventually have your mind focus on bad stuff. Just stick to hobbies.

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[JadussD]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair? My
> life sucks...and I have no real life friends. Give me a
> reason other than "life's too important" or "your family
> [blah blah]" to continue? I just don't have it in me
> anymore.

Unsuck your life as best you can, and get some friends. Take a risk and talk to some people you maybe don't know very well, because hey, what do you have to lose if you're feeling like this?

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[Richter X]

Well, there's one thing to try. Go really fast, and the only way to do that is go somewhere new and find some stimuli, it really doesn't matter where! <img src=smilies/cwm11.gif>

Trust me, it works!

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[ElZacho]

make a change. Find somebody new, my life was utter shit for a while last year, but finding somebody that you just "click" with, that makes it all good, it's essential. Quit your job, get a new one, learn a skill, have casual sex with a stranger, paint something, go to a concert, write or read something deep, or something funny. Whatever it is that you're doing, switch it up.

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[Kuikorosu]

I find new and interesting things to masturbate to.

I really wish I was trolling.

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[SharkESP]

1. Do something that makes you happy.
2. Change your outlook on things to being more positive. Don't throw out ideas because you're depressed
3. Start speaking positive things about yourself. In church, thier called confessions. In buisness, thier called affirmations. Companies and congragations wouldn't spend thousands on speakers and preachers if they werent right about something.
4. Make a decision abd stick with it. Don't half ass it by saying "I'll go to God when, or I'll be happy when, or If only this happens." Go where you want to be first and let yourself heal from there.
5. Find areas where like minded people are and make friends with them. Do not expect friends to fall out of the sky. Go out, show out, and make friends. That's why it's not called "finding friends"
6. Smile more often.

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[d503]

> > Go to church.
>
> The Church of the Subgenius?
>

Praise BOB!!!

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[d503]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair? My
> life sucks...and I have no real life friends. Give me a
> reason other than "life's too important" or "your family
> [blah blah]" to continue? I just don't have it in me
> anymore.

I know what you mean about no real life friends. My three best real life friends live in Ohio, California, and Hungary. I'm in Wisconsin, so I don't see them all that often and phone conversations just aren't the same as in person. I'm also very introverted, so making new friends just doesn't happen. I get very depressed sometimes, but have found some things that help.

anti-depressants ---- mmmm, wellbutrin SR
going outside ---- sometimes a long bike ride or skateboarding (aka scar-making) makes me feel good.
personal projects / hobbies---- helps keep your mind busy. I've been tweakin' out Debian on my laptop lately. might try to make a snes copier next.
doing something out of my usual work-gaming-sleep-work-gaming-sleep schedule. (this one doesn't happen often)
Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ---- again, mmmm
having specific future events to look forward to ---- currently this includes: Matrix: Revolutions, Two Towers extended DVD, Return of the King (pathetic? maybe, but who cares?)

And hey, if your ever in Madison, WI, I'd be up for beer and a trip to the local 'classic' arcade.
<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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[Octocrook]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair?

I dunno....join the club? <img src=http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/images/icons/frown.gif>

Actually, I'm fortunate to have 1 good friend in real life, and a decent family. Still...that womanly void is starting to fill my mind as of late. All I can really suggest to you is think of your favorite things to do, and try to join groups of people that do those things. Religion is an ok suggestion too, but frankly, I couldn't see a very logical person who's not already somewhat into religion to all of a sudden have faith. Who knows though. Point is, if you don't have friends, meet enough people with enough common interests so that you can possibly find 1 or 2 good friends to hang out with. That's all you really need. Yea, it's better said than done, but just keep in mind when you're meeting people to be a little more forward to hang out with them beyond simple group get-togethers (although those are obviously the building blocks to meeting people).

When I moved to Phoenix when I was 15, I was depressed as all hell. I left a community I had been in for about 9 years and didn't know a soul. I made a friend over the summer...just saw him and managed to just strike up conversation, but he wound up moving before the end of the summer, so I was stuck with no friends again, with first year of high school starting. I was rather depressed for the first couple months. But one day, after a class was over, I overheard a couple guys in the class talking about Magic the Gathering. I was like "Right on...you guys play Magic too?" That led to me going to a Magic party with a big group of people. That night, one of the guys there saw the Leviathans I had and said a friend of his wanted them. I was like "Hah....this pieces of shit? Neato!" Next day, the both of them came over and we trades and played and stuff.

They both became my best friends for the year I was there. It's amazing, because really, that was and still is the only time I proactively got myself some friends. Other times it just kinda happened, but that time, I was determined to make friends that played Magic. Before I moved back here from Phoenix, I knew about 25-30 people that played Magic, and I even got this huge football player guy into Magic, lol. But yea...I turned my hobby into a friend-making machine. As hard as making friends can be, it can also be that simple. My sorry ass can't relate it to getting dates with girls, but that's a whole nother issue! <img src=smilies/laff.gif>

Btw, sadly, I lost contact with everyone from Phoenix like really quick after I moved, but even still, my year there was one of the most enjoyable years of my life.

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5/29/03: Now you can hear Glass at Crooky's <a href=http://www.mp3.com/Crooky>Artist Page</a>!</center></P><P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by Octocrook on 06/15/03 10:31 AM.</FONT></P>

[saprophytic]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair? My
> life sucks...and I have no real life friends. Give me a
> reason other than "life's too important" or "your family
> [blah blah]" to continue?

Well, if there's any one thing in your life you enjoy, it should always be looked forward to.

You sound like you need to get out more, and meet people. And if you drink, the bar scene is always good for meeting people. And unlike pudu, I would suggest drinking yourself silly, because it always helps for me. But that doesn't work for everyone, and could cause problems. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>
I also like to keep myself busy, and I usually pick up my guitar and write music when i'm depressed/angry. Hitting things also seems to help with me, but I wouldn't suggest beating on anything solid, as I flattened my fist over a week ago.

I hope I helped in some way, but I probably did not as my methods don't apply to the majority.<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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[Dark Knight Kain]

> When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair? My
> life sucks...and I have no real life friends. Give me a
> reason other than "life's too important" or "your family
> " to continue? I just don't have it in me
> anymore.

I used think depressed people were too stupid to realize just how ignorant they sound... I used to only see the bad shit in life, I was never depressed though, 'cause I thought depressed people were stupid, and that thought alone changed my entire attitude. I no longer see the bad things as bad, rather as things that need to be changed. Change your attitude and you change your world, I don't know if that's one of those stupid-ass motivation poster quotes, but it sounds good. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, go out and do something, make your life worth living. Find something you like doing and do it. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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[holyhandwrit]

<blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr>


When you're dreadfully depressed and full of dispair?


<hr></blockquote>

Read comics about people who have had similar problems.
Like http://www.smallstoriesonline.comthis</A> one.

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[icenine0]

Very well drawn and good writing. Same Difference rox0red!

On the whole, it reminds me a bit of Daniel Clowes's stuff ("Ghost World" etc.), though less dark and neurotic.


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