> I try and try and all I get is failure
At least you're still willing to try /wwwthreads/images/icons/wink.gif. I'm to the point where I'd rather fail by default rather than even try to succeed.
But I can only imagine what this must feel like... since I've never personally experienced anything like it /wwwthreads/images/icons/frown.gif
>...not to mention all my friends here locally have moved away to thier home
> states/countries...so I'm alone,
heh... I would have killed for this 2 years ago... but then again I'm anti-social... so it's a little different /wwwthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif
> so far in debt it's rediculous,
Who isn't? You've seen those commercials... "the average American has over $50,000 in debt". Note that I'm not suggesting to call AmeriDebt or anything =P
> my stress level is so bad I get nose bleeds everyday,
I think the dry weather around you is more the cause of nosebleeds than stress. Though I can totally sympathize with being beaten down by stress. It's no fun. Unfortunatly I still haven't figured out a way to avoid/cope/deal with stress... so I can't really give you any advice /wwwthreads/images/icons/frown.gif
> and apparently these past few HIGHLY stressful
> months has caused me to be a dick to everyone I know...
They'll understand. Everybody hits times of stress where they're just no fun to be around. Maybe they'll get a little pissed at you... or maybe they will want to keep their distance from you for a while... but once everything cools down things will be back to normal.
Everyone goes through hard times... everyone's mood gets affected by it. You're not super-human... you're no exception. Your friends will know that. They'll understand.
> and lastly apparently cipher is no longer my friend...so my
> webspace will be terminated soon I'd imagine.
Did some drama happen between you two? Or is it just involved with what you said above? Or do you even know what happened?
Maybe cipher's just going through his own tough time and doesn't want to deal with some stuff right now. It might not even be related to you directly. In any case... I wouldn't jump to such conclusions. It will just be another source of stress for you
> Will there ever be any relief?
Things may be shitty now... and they may have been shitty for a while. And hell... they even might be shitty for a while more. But it won't be like this forever. Everyone hits their highs and lows.... that's life. If you're low seems lower/longer than normal... that will only make the high more rewarding.
I think I've been in similar shoes. Mainly my senior year in highschool. I was just a stress magnet. It got to the point where I just didn't care about anything anymore. I stopped going to school, I stopped eating, I stopped showering, I stopped talking with friends, with family... I just stopped caring. If I would have gotten mugged on the street and gotten shot or something... I probably wouldnt've minded. In fact... the only reason I didn't do it myself was because I didn't care enough to /wwwthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif.
But yeah... those were shitty times. I went (and am still kind of going) up and down for a few years. So I think I might understand how it feels. And how hard it can be. And all I can say, man... is there are still people around that care about you... and that are willing to help out. Your situation is anything but uncommon... and a lot of people will understand what you're going through... and they'll be able to help.
I know a lot of times it's good to just vent all of your frustration and feelings and lash out at someone.... just to get it all out of your system. If you ever need to do that... you know where to find me /wwwthreads/images/icons/wink.gif.
Just keep on truckin man... there's light at the end of the tunnel <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>
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