love and stuff

[puduhead]

I'm secretly in love with my best girlfriend - the only chick I know IRL that never annoys me. That I don't want to just tell to STFU! It's weird because I have had lots of the euphoric insta-romances. But this is like a thing that I don't control. And that I don't fake. It's like the opposite of what normally happens.

normally: attraction and wanting brings me and a chick together. I make promises that my heart can't keep. Like I don't really care. I wouldn't really sacrifice my stuff for her, etc...

with this woman: I never tell her anything, like make any promises of love and devotion. besides, we are just friends. But it's like she could never fuck up bad enough for me to black list her. I feel like I would do anything for her.

And... i'm not going to do anything about this. Just because I realized all this stuff, doesn't mean something is supposed to happen. But if nothing else, I am shocked and amazed that behind all the bullshitting I do, I actually care about someone. and have the reality to back it up.

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[fairykiller]

> And... i'm not going to do anything about this.

Why not? It sounds like a good thing...

>Just
> because I realized all this stuff, doesn't mean something is
> supposed to happen.

True. But something could happen if you let it happen. Besides, you might end up kicking yourself later if you don't act when the time is right...



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[puduhead]

> Why not? It sounds like a good thing...

it is. it's still good if she's my friend.

> True. But something could happen if you let it happen.

I'm not stopping it from happening. A personal visitation from God is all I ask in order to proceed. http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/smilies/thumb.gif

> Besides, you might end up kicking yourself later if you
> don't act when the time is ripe...

I live with no regrets.

oh btw, we are going to see the matrix tonight and eat someplace nice. just the 2 of us. so see, I do my part! but, doesn't mean anything will come out of this. I don't like to place expectations on what we have cuz it is what it is and it is good. I do fully expect that whatever happens will happen! http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/smilies/magbiggrin.gif

<P ID="signature"><img src=http://i.xanga.com/JohnDietzel/puduhead.jpg></P><P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by puduhead on 05/16/03 06:51 PM.</FONT></P>