Why is stress so shitty

[Disch]

Or rather... why am I so shitty at dealing with stress.

Life stresses me out... seriously. I have bad stress management. I don't know what it is... but I stress over every decision I have to make. 10 times out of 10 I'd rather someone make a choice for me rather than have to make a choice and stick with it... I just can't deal with the pressure that it comes with.

So I'm moving out on the first. Gotta pack all my shit. But this isn't my choice of course. I'm being politely pushed out of the house. It's understandable... after all... I mean I AM 20 years old. Anyway... I'm moving in with my sister (of course I can't manage on my own)... who lives in a cramped apartment that consists of 3 rooms: 2 bedrooms (one of which is rented out to someone else), a shared bathroom, and a shared kitchen. I've stayed with my sister before... so I know it's cramped as hell. After only 4 days I nearly went crazy... I couldn't even stand the sight of my sister (who I get along with better than anyone else in the world). The sad thing is I know that these conditions aren't that bad. I've lived in similar conditions before when I was younger... I know people deal with it. And I know things can be a lot worse.

But that doesn't matter... it scares the hell out of me. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was supposed to start packing today... but I just couldn't do it. I can't even organize anything for the move... my sister and my mom are doing it all. I feel so fucking worthless.

I don't know how I'm going to get a job over there. My other sister got me my first job here... and my mom got me in the door at my last job. I can't drive, I don't know anything about anything.

But even that doesn't really get to me. What gets to me is that assuming I get a job... and assume I can tolerate the new lifestyle... my sister will be graduating next spring (just a few months away).. .then she'll probably get a job, and move out. Then what the hell am I going to do? I'm as far from independent as I've ever been. As far from independent as anyone can possibly get. I just drift through life mindlessly.

Up until now my only escape from the pressure has been in my projects... and in my online persona... but now even that's gone to shit. Everywhere I turn, pressure is getting pushed in my face. I just don't know what to do about it. I have no where else to go.

I'm sad... I'm pissed... I'm nervous... I'm confused... and I'm terrified. I just wish there was a way I could lock myself in my room and never have to deal with anyone or anything ever again. But that's not possible. But really... I see nothing else that I can do. But I'll probalby just do whatever... continue drifting aimlessly until I'm on the street.

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[Dark Macc]

> I'm sad... I'm pissed... I'm nervous... I'm confused... and
> I'm terrified. I just wish there was a way I could lock
> myself in my room and never have to deal with anyone or
> anything ever again. But that's not possible.

I know how ya feel, buddy. I'm gonna graduate in a few months and I'm scared shitless as to where my life will be. But I guarentee it'll be okay in the end.

> But really... I see nothing else that I can do. But I'll
> probalby just do whatever... continue drifting aimlessly
> until I'm on the street.

Well, I'll make you a deal. You end up on the street and I'll figure out some way to get you to come across the country or whatever and you can crash at my place. It aint much, but it's livable. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif> You got us as friends, bro, and we wont letcha down.

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[Garrot]

Just floating along in life, eh? Set some goals for yourself. If you spent half the time working to acomplish what needs to be done as you spend worrying about what needs to be done you'd be in good shape. We all have to bite the bullet sooner or later and it's always good to prepare, but sometimes there are risks you need to take inorder to be successful as well though. Best of luck.

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[shawn]

Disch, there is one thing I've learned about dealing with stress and that is you have to face it head on and then you can deal with it, but there is a trick also, you have a lot of problems to deal with but you have to just stop and go what's the first thing I should tackle, and just find one problem lets say packing and handle that, and then that problem is done, then moving, then unpacking and then finding a job, and one by one these little problems just go away and the shared kitchen and bathroom aren't to bad, just make sure you find out when the others use the bathroom in the morning and work around that time, and for privacy I recommend going to your room and locking the door and going on the old computer for hours and just say fuck the world and by that time you should have a job and some cash and a lot less problems and as for your sister graduating and moving, I would n't worry about that to much, she may just stay were she is and get a job in the area for the experience to put on another application, just talk to her and find out because she may have a job in the area all lined up and the stress form that fear will be gone in an instant. Don't let fear get the best of you, when you get problems like these imagine it's someone else with the problem asking you what to do and then imagine what you would tell them, it's a lot easier to see a solution from another perspective most of the time, good luck my friend and just handle these problems one day at a time one problem at a time and they'll be gone sooner than you know it. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

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