Fla Flash
07-17-2002, 10:58 AM
Okay, he's trying to be my best friend. This is tough, because my landlady (his other half, supposedly) is my best but. Anyway, he's calling me here at work at 6:30 at night telling me to get my "ass home and play horseshoes". Uh-huh.
Well as it turns out, I got home about 7:15, still plenty of light out, and sat by the retention pond with a neighbor, guy named Jay.
Jay's got his problems, but nothing like we were about to witness. The Gobbler's riding his birthday present (12.5 horsepower riding lawnmower) trying to get the tall grass around the edge of the ditch down. We all heard the grind, and the mower stall.
"What was that?", Jay asked.
"Sounds like a rock jumped out in front of him." I reply.
"I don't think so." Jay said.
It was then I realized that Jay's not all there.
Well, the Gobbler get's underneath, and there's an old tree stump he didn't see. "Damn it, " he yelled. "At least I didn't bend the blade.".
"Oh, thank heaven," I said, rolling my eyes.
The mower, however had run the frame up on a rock on the opposite side. He got up and pushed the mower off the rock, and lost his grip on the mower. The Gobbler was now trapped under the lawn mower. "Hey, I'm stuck."
"Yeah, I'm coming". I start walking out there (he's about 50 yards away) and he starts screaming.
"Hey, I'm coming already"
"No,,ANTS!"
Sure enough, dumbass is laying in a nest of red ants. You couldn't see it because of the tall grass near the edge of the ditch. I ran out lifted the motor up and watched as he made his escape and danced around the yard as if he were suffering from a horrible nervous condition.
I guess Jay had other ideas. He went and got the hose and started dousing him. When all was said and done, his arms were pretty well bit up, and his legs were too. He's very lucky.
For a dumbass.
Everybody (especially in the south) knows that when you're getting down on the ground you watch where you're laying down.
It was funny, though.<img src=smilies/laff.gif><img src=smilies/laff.gif>
<P ID="signature"><img src=http://thegallery.vimm.net/f3.gif></P>
Well as it turns out, I got home about 7:15, still plenty of light out, and sat by the retention pond with a neighbor, guy named Jay.
Jay's got his problems, but nothing like we were about to witness. The Gobbler's riding his birthday present (12.5 horsepower riding lawnmower) trying to get the tall grass around the edge of the ditch down. We all heard the grind, and the mower stall.
"What was that?", Jay asked.
"Sounds like a rock jumped out in front of him." I reply.
"I don't think so." Jay said.
It was then I realized that Jay's not all there.
Well, the Gobbler get's underneath, and there's an old tree stump he didn't see. "Damn it, " he yelled. "At least I didn't bend the blade.".
"Oh, thank heaven," I said, rolling my eyes.
The mower, however had run the frame up on a rock on the opposite side. He got up and pushed the mower off the rock, and lost his grip on the mower. The Gobbler was now trapped under the lawn mower. "Hey, I'm stuck."
"Yeah, I'm coming". I start walking out there (he's about 50 yards away) and he starts screaming.
"Hey, I'm coming already"
"No,,ANTS!"
Sure enough, dumbass is laying in a nest of red ants. You couldn't see it because of the tall grass near the edge of the ditch. I ran out lifted the motor up and watched as he made his escape and danced around the yard as if he were suffering from a horrible nervous condition.
I guess Jay had other ideas. He went and got the hose and started dousing him. When all was said and done, his arms were pretty well bit up, and his legs were too. He's very lucky.
For a dumbass.
Everybody (especially in the south) knows that when you're getting down on the ground you watch where you're laying down.
It was funny, though.<img src=smilies/laff.gif><img src=smilies/laff.gif>
<P ID="signature"><img src=http://thegallery.vimm.net/f3.gif></P>