Finnish the Story thread

[chiefmonkey]

I underestimated how stagnant this place is these days. Are me, pipes, Inverse, and Brad the only motherfuckers posting...? Anyway, maybe this will help, it's a "finish the story" thread. You know the rules.

A dog walks into a liquor store, when

[chiefmonkey]

Still no replies? Fuck this place is dead.

[Reaper man]

You just noticed?

[Red-XIII]

The end! =)

[Goku]

...
But, no, it is not really the end. Hollywood sees the thread and picks it up creating a 100 million dollar 3D movie starring Nic Cage and Lindsay Lohan with Paris Hilton in a supporting role.

[3ukalipto]

A dog walks into liquor store, when the owner sees him he asks, "How can I....heee; wait you´re a dog, you´re not allowed to enter this holy place for drunks and teenage wannabe delinquents", to that the dog replies, "I´m the only thing that has walked into this place in months sir, don´t tell me I´m not allowed here, because I´ll urinate your big fat nose!. Now... give me water, please". Having heard that, the owner........


Greetings fine gentlemen!, allow me to introduce. I´m 3ukalipto (my real name is Edgar) and I´m the dog that walk into the flickering Zophar forum (liquor store) asking for future support and/or help related to translating PS2 backup copies of games (water).
Now; this can go different ways.

A)You can just go about bashing my ego in every possible way (try to kick me out of your liquor store {lucky think I don´t drink}) and I can react very agressively counter attacking the bashing multiple ego-agressions (urinate on fat nose analogy)

OR...

B) You can offer the dog advice and support :) (fresh water) and the dog will......... (continue the story gents...):badjoke:

[Lillymon]

C) Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog and fuck his corpse dammit!

...

How did I get here?

[3ukalipto]

C) Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog and fuck his corpse dammit!

...

How did I get here?


Ha ha ha ha; well. That´s an option as well. Too bad the dog that walked into the liquor store was the Superman´s dog.

" When the owner of the store starts shooting his double sawed-off barrel the dog deflects the bullets and as they travel through thin dramatic air, pierce through the thick brain tissue of the owner. Then the dog drinks his water, and leaves with........."

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ4Jr2Oy51T5cd352ZNhqxm5v-9hb7T0vUGi8FQ2y-Jn94gsKv1gA

[Goku]

...with his tail in between his legs. Walking out of the liquor store he encounters a group of teamsters f'ing the dog. They see the poor little super dog and grin. Super dog tries to fight back is no match for the teamsters. They grab him and have their way with super dog all day long.


By nightfall, poor list super dog walks away from the teamsters in a very awkward gate when he is suddenly.....

[3ukalipto]

....when he is suddenly bestowed with the powers of time traveling by an ancient old man from Japanese Mars. He tells the dog; "Use this power I´ve given you my son, to restore peace in the universe and bring love to the masses".

A couple of minutes later, the dog travels a couple of hours back to the past and encounters the teamsters f*ing his now savagely violated self.
The logical thing would be that the dog helps his past self, but instead; he joins the teamsters and rapes himself.
After a couple of hours, by nightfall; the dog now witnesses himself in front of the ancient old man from Japanese Mars. He freaks the old man´s wrinkled butt, then travels to a distant past.

Enraged and filled with sorrow, sadness and depression; the dog takes a .45 caliber pistols loaded with kryptonite bullets that is made of plastilline and kills himself; this way creating a time paradox and destroying the whole universe.

A couple of eternities later; a self-created lizard says "Let there be light" and... is gang banged by a Smurf.
After the almighty Hideo Kojima witnesses the scene, he....

[Red-XIII]

said The End! HUZZAH!!!!!

[Goku]

... and turns the television channel. "What a stupid episode of Smallville". It really has gone down hill. He then switches to the Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey game and wonders what the hell is up with the leafs. That James Remier is really something. Just a month ago they were next to last place.

OH Shoot, he thinks, Chicago just scored. Oh well, he then turns the channel again ....

[Red-XIII]

......and everything was sucked into a massive black hole and ceased to exist anymore and therefore it has to be the end. THE END! =D

[Goku]

Oh,
the series finale of Star Trek the next generation. Seen that, flipping the channel again........

[InVerse]

...only to find static on every channel because a radical Muslim had just flown a plane into the local cable company.

[Goku]

Then there are riots in the streets. Many people are killed as they are stomped by moribidly obese couch potatoes rioting. Children on trampled, skinny people are eaten, its a nightmare. Piles of blubber sit rotting in the street as many couch potatoes die of heart attacks from the exertion. A national state of emergency is called.

Then.....

[Reaper man]

...the entire setting is switched to Finland, because I enjoy puns.

[InVerse]

Tukahduttaa hätätilan, presidentti määräsi Brad tanssia alasti maan suurin areenalla. Kaikki kerääntyivät todistamassa jotain jopa hauskempi kuin Charlie Sheen: n jakautuminen. Vapaa vaahtokarkkeja oli sammui kaikille!

[Red-XIII]

Ummmm.....and then he got confused excpet only knowing that whatever Inverse said had something to do with Brad and Charlie Sheen. It's sad too cuz I'm one quarter Finnish. Oh well.

[Goku]

Err....Translations:

Smother distress , president amount Brad dance bare vernacular biggest arena. Everybody kerääntyivät todistamassa jotain indeed hauskempi like Tee Folio : n distribution. Exempt vaahtokarkkeja oli died kaikille!

Somehow..

I do not think this translation is entirely well....good. I wonder why? So, i take it Brad became president and danced in a big arena. It became part of common vernacular. The he and Charlie Sheen does somthing and someone dies

Lets switch back to english. and then...

[Reaper man]

Err....Translations:

Smother distress , president amount Brad dance bare vernacular biggest arena. Everybody kerääntyivät todistamassa jotain indeed hauskempi like Tee Folio : n distribution. Exempt vaahtokarkkeja oli died kaikille!

Somehow..

I do not think this translation is entirely well....good. I wonder why? So, i take it Brad became president and danced in a big arena. It became part of common vernacular. The he and Charlie Sheen does somthing and someone dies

According to google translate:

To stifle a state of emergency, the President ordered Brad to dance naked in the country's biggest arena. All gathered around to witness something even funnier than Charlie Sheen's breakdown. Free marshmallows were passed out to everyone!

[AkaneJones]

Unfortunately the Finnish failed to realize the Japanese Yakuza had replaced their regular free marshmallows with tiny Kirbys that infiltrated the bodies or whoever ate them. The Kirby host grew incredibly hungry and form an evil army eating everything in site, gaining more and more power as they absorbs the power from whatever they munched. The Kirby apocalypse had come there only hope rested on a King Penguin, but global warming had driven him out of his home. Where had Dedede gone, the only savor of the Kirby apocalypse...