Goku
08-19-2010, 03:20 AM
That one fake story thread in the diaries thread made me think of this actual true story that happened to me years ago. (some minor embelishements added - pardon my bad grammer - it is worse than normal after a full 750ml bottle of nice white reisling wine i just drank at dinner).
Basically, about 16 years ago, i initially got onto the internet. At the time, i was using a chat line. It was the normal thing in my high school at that time (dating myself). If i remember correctly, the chat line was called alamak. It was an http text type chat line as opposed to irc which was popular at the time also.
On the line, i met a girl from a nearby town. For the hell of it, we decided to go to a school dance in her town.
Big mistake.
When I saw the girl, she was utterly huge. Not only did she have her own gravity, she had her own planet orbiting. It was rediculous. She made the morbidly obese people from tlc shows (when they are not showing multiple births and or midgets (or a combination in between)) look thin.
I went anyway. Hell, I had low self esteem at the time and it was dance, maybe i can meet someone else. Ofcouse, i never did.
Trying to dance with her was rediculous. Ofcouse she could not reach her arms past her flab to touch my arms (a good thing). Me, well, if she cant touch me, well, what hope in hell do i have. I want to avoid..........
Well suffice to say, the dance was not fun.
Afterwards, we went to her parents (there must have been 20 fat cats). This is where it got funny..er disgusting. Drinking coffee, her dad was drinking beer (and who was in the same morbidly obese situation as her) was farting up a stinky storm.
After his cookie, he went to the nearby powder room and started puking loudly. Really loudly. It resonated through the whole bungalow......
Suffice to say, the night and dance was a joke. On the other hand, i did get to dance with a few cute girls.
Now, for the embelishments of this true story: The girls weight - she was morbidly obsese but did not have a moon orbiting her. As for touching..well, i have taste - I did not want to touch *shivers*
The number of cats. Not 20, probaly about 8 cats - and they were fat. The rest was true. It was like somthing out of a comedy....an opitamy of the jokes about internet chatlines....
Basically, about 16 years ago, i initially got onto the internet. At the time, i was using a chat line. It was the normal thing in my high school at that time (dating myself). If i remember correctly, the chat line was called alamak. It was an http text type chat line as opposed to irc which was popular at the time also.
On the line, i met a girl from a nearby town. For the hell of it, we decided to go to a school dance in her town.
Big mistake.
When I saw the girl, she was utterly huge. Not only did she have her own gravity, she had her own planet orbiting. It was rediculous. She made the morbidly obese people from tlc shows (when they are not showing multiple births and or midgets (or a combination in between)) look thin.
I went anyway. Hell, I had low self esteem at the time and it was dance, maybe i can meet someone else. Ofcouse, i never did.
Trying to dance with her was rediculous. Ofcouse she could not reach her arms past her flab to touch my arms (a good thing). Me, well, if she cant touch me, well, what hope in hell do i have. I want to avoid..........
Well suffice to say, the dance was not fun.
Afterwards, we went to her parents (there must have been 20 fat cats). This is where it got funny..er disgusting. Drinking coffee, her dad was drinking beer (and who was in the same morbidly obese situation as her) was farting up a stinky storm.
After his cookie, he went to the nearby powder room and started puking loudly. Really loudly. It resonated through the whole bungalow......
Suffice to say, the night and dance was a joke. On the other hand, i did get to dance with a few cute girls.
Now, for the embelishments of this true story: The girls weight - she was morbidly obsese but did not have a moon orbiting her. As for touching..well, i have taste - I did not want to touch *shivers*
The number of cats. Not 20, probaly about 8 cats - and they were fat. The rest was true. It was like somthing out of a comedy....an opitamy of the jokes about internet chatlines....