hmm...i think i have issues [Archive] - Zophar's Message Domain

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Lobster Cowboy

03-07-2004, 02:00 AM

let me break it down

my girlfriend is really cool. excellent in bed, fun to hang out with, nice to me, very sexy...

yet i can't wait to get rid of her. like i'm dying to break up with her.

why, you ask?

well, i have a girl in my head. this is the girl i've been waiting my whole life to meet. she's sweet, creative, pretty in a plain way (not showy), sort of shy, but with passion just underneath the surface. she's quiet, but when she talks, she has great things to say. she's supportive of my idiosyncracies, and can calm me when i'm feeling anxious or unhappy. i've created this person almost exactly, so that when i meet a woman who doesn't perfectly fit that criterea, i automatically want to shun them. like it's really bad. a girl could be really cool, but if she isn't that girl i've created, i feel this ultra strong impulse to remove them from my life.

is there anyway i can accept my girlfriend as she is? if you met her, you'd prolly smack me in the fucking head, and yell "HANG ON TO THAT ONE, RETARD!!!"

yet i'm so desperate to break up with her. like it sickens me that she likes me so much.

i think i must have some serious problems...anyone have any idea how to beat this insanity?

<img src=http://socialistlobster.tripod.com/lobsterranx.txt>
</img>

Crazy_MYKL

03-07-2004, 02:08 AM

> i think i must have some serious problems...anyone have any
> idea how to beat this insanity?
>

It is hopeless, take some happy pills and get a lobotomy....

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Click<a href=http://freehost01.websamba.com/arvala/uhoh.html> here </a>to make Baby Jesus cry...

SpaceTiger

03-07-2004, 02:19 AM

That's quite a problem. I have to admit that my personality tends to be the exact opposite when it comes to women. I could sit here and tell you to loosen up or be more flexible, but that would be equivalent to telling that the solution to your problem is to solve it.

So, here's an idea. Why don't you try taking some time and picking apart this "perfect" image in your head. Think about everything you love about it and then think about how each of those things could lead to something that you'd hate. For example, think about how someone who was strong-minded and independent would also be stubborn and difficult. Someone who enjoyed the same things you did wouldn't be able to show you anything new, and someone enjoyed too many different things would be hard to have fun with. Above all, think about how someone who fit your exact expectations would be boring very quickly.

After a little of this, you might start to realize that your image of perfection isn't really perfection at all. Sure, you could make a million qualifications ("they should do this, but not this"), but you'd just be writing yourself a program. Not only is that unrealistic, but it's also really aesthetically unpleasing. A person is like a work of art and you can't get at their essence by picking them apart, piece by piece.

Look at the relationship as a chance to expand your horizons and stretch your mind. If you're having fun, then stay with it. You might find after a while that your idea of what's perfect changes.

http://qonos.princeton.edu/nbond/tiger5.gif

Lobster Cowboy

03-07-2004, 02:27 AM

wow...that was quite erudite.

i'll give your suggestion a shot

<img src=http://socialistlobster.tripod.com/lobsterranx.txt>
</img>

Tsyni

03-07-2004, 03:18 AM

Look at your hand. Now close your eyes and think hard, your hand becomes your "perfect girl"...two for the price of one.

BTW, SpaceTigers advice is brilliant.

--//--

thegodofhellfire

03-07-2004, 03:46 AM

> i think i must have some serious problems...anyone have any
> idea how to beat this insanity?

Looks like SpaceTiger has you covered there. Just bear his advice in mind. That and the distinct possiblility of needlessly growing old alone.

shawn

03-07-2004, 05:38 AM

Well I'll tell you sweet and simply what the problem is. You're wishing for a fantasy girl who you'll never find and if you do she'll probably be to good for you or you'll find some silly thing you think is wrong and dump her so here's my advise.

Wish in one hand and shit into the other.
Which one fills up first?

So quit looking for something better and what your girlfriend now lacks and look at what you got now and be happy you have a girlfriend at all.
Oh yeah one last thing, you're getting older everyday and one day which will happen sooner than expected you will be toooo old to even get this girl you have at the moment so quit thinking so much and enjoy the fact that this girl doesn't realize yet what a picky bitch you really are and dump your ass. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

Well there's one thing that makes the world at least tolerable.
Well maybe toterable as Bozo the fucken clown nailed to a white wall is tolerable.
-Quote from The Ranting Gryphon-

UncleOral

03-07-2004, 05:45 AM

> Wish in one hand and shit into the other.
> Which one fills up first?

Hahaha...well that's one way of putting it. ;P

It's true though, hoping for something is well and good enough, without hopes and dreams mankind would be quite pathetic.
However fantasies like that only comes true in videogames and movies, so snap out of it and follow SpaceTiger and Shawn's advice. :)

When I die I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.
-Jack Handey

Swan3983

03-08-2004, 03:00 AM

>i think i must have some serious problems...anyone have any
> idea how to beat this insanity?

You should definitely listen to SpaceTiger and shawn's advice... you don't want to meet a person that just might be "the one" and end up throwing it away because of the fantasy girl image that you've built in your head. We all have a fantasy, but the trick is coming to the realization that IT IS ONLY A FANTASY. Most people never meet the PERFECT significant other, that's why relationships take time and effort to work on... they aren't just magically perfect.

I think the fact that most relationships aren't whatever one's fantasy relationship might be is the thing that makes a relationship all the more valuable. It keeps you on your toes, you won't know what to expect all the time... if your fantasy came true (while you'd be one lucky person) there would be no spice to the relationship to keep things interesting. You've got to accept the things that make the relationship different from your fantasy are probably going to be the best parts about the relationship... that it'll be different.
<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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"Fight on MegaMan, for everlasting peace!"

puduhead

03-08-2004, 06:18 AM

> i think i must have some serious problems...anyone have any
> idea how to beat this insanity?

Watch High Fidelity a few times. John Cusack will give you the answer.

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Canar

03-09-2004, 03:21 PM

> i think i must have some serious problems...anyone have any
> idea how to beat this insanity?

I went through those exact feelings with my last gf. I didn't figure out what the root of the problem was until after the relationship ended, but in my case it was just commitment anxiety. However, I had lied to myself and hidden that truth from myself for the entire length of the relationship. This may or may not be your problem, but I figured it was the answer to mine, so it may be helpful.

StormsInHerEyes

03-11-2004, 03:36 PM

I Love John Cusack .. Almost as much as I love you Pudu

http://www.digikitten.com/gallery/data/507/5105signature_alba03.jpg

puduhead

03-11-2004, 05:46 PM

> I Love John Cusack .. Almost as much as I love you Pudu

true.

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shawn

03-11-2004, 08:37 PM

> > I Love John Cusack .. Almost as much as I love you Pudu
>
> true.
>
You're just to modest John. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

Well there's one thing that makes the world at least tolerable.
Well maybe toterable as Bozo the fucken clown nailed to a white wall is tolerable.
-Quote from The Ranting Gryphon-

puduhead

03-12-2004, 12:43 AM

> You're just to modest John.

humility isn't my strong suit. <img src=smilies/cwm11.gif>

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