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Lobster Cowboy
02-08-2004, 06:31 PM
here's how the story begins...

i date this girl for over two years, but we didn't have sex until a year-and-a-half into the relationship. when we finally got to that point, it was hardly spectacular, and we did it once every two weeks. at the time, i thought this was normal, so i curbed my libido to not really want sex at all.

this goes on for a bunch of months, and i'm talking to that girl on the phone, and for some reason the gears click into place, and i get the suspicion that she's been cheating on me. i ask point blank, and it turns out she is. and she just happens to mention that she and the guy are having sex multiple times a day, and blah blah blah. obviously i was crushed, but it left me with a bigger problem.

it made me hate sex. i had gotten so used to quashing my own urge, that i could take or leave it. like what was the problem? did i suck at it? what?

after that relationship ended, i dated this girl where all we did was have sex. it was the linchpin of our union. every single day we were together, we were getting it on, but in the back of my mind, it was sorta overwhelming. i got used to it once a month or so, and now it was all the time. i found it a bit hard to get used to this, having spent over two years making myself not care.

i break up with this girl, and i stay out of the game for like two years. i finally meet my current girlfriend, and of course the subject of sex comes up. it turns out she's had an adventurous past, and she has a crazy libido. now i know this is every guy's dream to meet a girl like this, but i am totally flipping out. my anxiety level is at an all time high. while i'm no slouch in bed, i feel overwhelmed. sorta the chasing amy effect ('cept this girl was not a lesbian). like, i want this girl like nobody's business, but i'm having trouble making moves.

is there a good way to get past this? this girl's a firecracker, and i don't want to lose her because she thinks i'm uninterested. like i want to get crazy with this girl, but i'm wondering how i get past the weirdness i feel. i like sex when i get there, but it's a chore to get there sometimes (like my brain gets in the way).

i especially want to here from puduhead here, or somebody who's not affected by this

<P ID="signature">http://socialistlobster.tripod.com/lobsterranx.txt</img> (http://www.mozilla.org)</P>

Lobster Cowboy
02-08-2004, 07:36 PM
i got a very nice PM that helped me out here...

essentially, they suggested that i just talk about it with her.

it makes perfect sense in hindsight...i mean when i was gettin' busy all the time with my old girlfriend, we weren't afraid to talk sex. before we ever made love, we had talked a lot about it, our previous experienecs, etc, so when we finally got together, we were on the same wavelength.

i haven't really talked the subject at length with this woman, so of course i'm nervous. like, i'm sure she's has some trepidations, too. talking it out will be a good thing.

i feel a bit better now.

ahh...

<P ID="signature">http://socialistlobster.tripod.com/lobsterranx.txt</img> (http://www.mozilla.org)</P>

MooglyGuy
02-08-2004, 07:37 PM
Stop being a puss and just talk to her about it. If she has had a past filled with sexual adventures and she has a wild 'n crazy libido, chances are she's encountered people not used to such advantages before. Tell her exactly what you told us; that a previous relationship taught you to not be used to it, so you could use her advice as to how to overcome this. Emphasize the fact that it's not that you dislike sex - you enjoy it a great deal - but that you're just not used to it. Chances are good that she'll know some ways to get you into the mood again.

Besides, women who aren't total bitches like it when their guys go to them for advice.

MooglyGuy
02-08-2004, 07:38 PM
> essentially, they suggested that i just talk about it with
> her.

Sounds like I must be psychic, since you were making the post I'm replying to when I was writing my original reply. <img src=smilies/eek13.gif>

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"Kupo, motherfucker!! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?"</P>

Lobster Cowboy
02-08-2004, 09:08 PM
thanks man...that was a good way to word that.

feeling a bit more confident now

<P ID="signature">http://socialistlobster.tripod.com/lobsterranx.txt</img> (http://www.mozilla.org)</P>

Lobster Cowboy
02-09-2004, 05:08 AM
**update**

we talked about everything i mentioned in the post, and she was really understanding. the coolest thing she said was that sex was something in the moment for the two people involved, and that anyone else from their past was unimportant. exactly the way i feel, and great to hear it from her. we also talked a little shop, but that's another topic for another time ;)

rock on <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

<P ID="signature">http://socialistlobster.tripod.com/lobsterranx.txt</img> (http://www.mozilla.org)</P>