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SpaceTiger
02-07-2004, 04:07 AM
Yeah, I'm bored, so I figured I'd make a Diaries post. So, what's going on with me, none of you are wondering. Well, I'll tell you. For those unfamiliar with the basic grad school process, I have to take an exam after two years that basically determines whether I can continue on to get a Ph.D. That exam is coming up in about three months, so things are getting a bit stressful. Not only do I have to pass the exam (which is very difficult and has to be given verbally in front of a panel of professors), but I have to have a published paper by then.

Now, as for the first part, I figure I'll do alright if I study hard enough, but that's been hard lately. I've been very sluggish, depressed, and lonely (yes, I know it's by my own choice, I'm not looking for sympathy), so motivation hasn't been coming very easily. I figure I'll probably get through fine in the end, but the process has been very painful.

As for the second part, I published tons of papers as an undergrad, but the rule only applies to my time here. I have one nearly done, but it keeps hitting snags. The professor I'm working with is very optimistic and very driven, so he'll probably make sure everything works out if something goes wrong, but it's still very stressful.

Anyway, if all goes well, I should pass the exam by the end of April or beginning of May and at that point I expect my mood will improve a bit. I hope so. Even if I do pass, I'm not really sure where I'm gonna go with it. For the past five years, I've been having trouble formulating any long-term goals for myself. Sometimes I feel like I want to reach out into the world and find something new and exciting, other times I just want to stay in academics where I'm comfortable. I dunno, I guess I should think about it after the exam.

Oh well, enough of my bitching. Best of luck to all you ZMDers and thanks for being such an awesome bunch of people. I'm not going anywhere, but I just thought that needed to be said. <img src=smilies/cwm11.gif>

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loonyme
02-07-2004, 05:52 AM
>>Even if I do pass, I'm not really sure where I'm gonna go with it. For the past five years, I've been having trouble formulating any long-term goals for myself. Sometimes I feel like I want to reach out into the world and find something new and exciting, other times I just want to stay in academics where I'm comfortable.


hell this sounds just like me!!! same problem. no long term goals which makes the current ones kinda redundant. the bad part is i have never in my life before been in this sort of situation so i don't know what to do; i mean everything had always been so sorted out for me.

do you have a solution??<img src=smilies/banghead.gif>><img src=smilies/banghead.gif>><img src=smilies/banghead.gif>



>>Best of luck to all you ZMDers and thanks for being such an awesome bunch of people. I'm not going anywhere, but I just thought that needed to be said.


you bet. there is something about this place.
<img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

<P ID="signature">JUSTME</P>

SpaceTiger
02-07-2004, 06:18 AM
> do you have a solution?

Not a one. Part of my problem is that my attention span is so damn short. I always have to have things done quickly and I'm always changing my interests; it's like those phases that you have as a kid, but for me they never stopped. One moment I'm completely absorbed in something and then suddenly I leave it and never go back. I have a lot of unfinished books and video games in my collection. It's not all bad -- my short attention span makes me an extremely efficient worker because I have to get everything done so quickly -- but it really sucks when it comes to settling down in life. Is it similar for you?

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Lenophis
02-07-2004, 06:35 AM
Damn... there are many reasons why I never went to college, you have stated 1 already. (The "what to do, what to do..." and money) I'm not a good motivator, but try your best.


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Is there something I'm missing out on?
Download FF2 Edit 2nd beta. (http://www.zophar.net/utilities/download/FF2_Edit_2.rar)</P>

shawn
02-07-2004, 09:03 AM
> Not a one. Part of my problem is that my attention span is
> so damn short. I always have to have things done quickly
> and I'm always changing my interests; it's like those phases
that you have as a kid, but for me they never stopped. One
> moment I'm completely absorbed in something and then
> suddenly I leave it and never go back.

I used to be like that all the time, but I didn't want to force myself to be to obsessive either because that isn't good either a lot of times. I heard this once probably on TV or a movie and it's such an intelligent thought I added it to my way of life to a point
I do one thing well and do it till it's finished then I move on"
This is good for things that can be done within a few hours or even a little longer but when it comes to real life there are many things that take longer so I make a point to stop before I become burned out like playing DIablo2 Expansion which takes weeks since it would be unhealthy to just immerse yourself into something for that long. Just do your best and ask your professor for goal suggestions, he has been successful and could probably give you some insights into yourself. <img src=smilies/magbiggrin.gif>

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loonyme
02-08-2004, 06:46 PM
> > do you have a solution?
>
> Not a one. Part of my problem is that my attention span is
> so damn short. Is it similar for you?

well not exactly. i start of with stuff, and suddenly just don't see the point of doing it and then i'm miserable.
As a matter of principle i will always finish what i take up so i am doing a lot of things that i don't particularly enjoy anymore. somehow suddenly everything is pointless<img src=smilies/retard.gif>

the weird part is i have never been this way. this is something that has developed only in the past two years.
>


<P ID="signature">JUSTME</P>