Want to Move Out, Advice Helpful [Archive]

JCJones86

01-17-2004, 10:18 PM

Hey, guys. I'm really in a bind of thoughts right now. I've pretty much made up my mind a long time ago that I'm going to move out when I turn eighteen. I'm sick of my parents controlling my life, and that's as far as I'm willing to speak of why. So... me and a buddy are probably going to share an apartment or a townhouse while we figure things out and get on with our lives. I'm probably going to work doing whatever I can while I go to a technical school, then get an entry-level job and work my way up the ladder. My main concerns are the necessities I need to take care of. I've been making a list in my mind, which includes learning several chores I've avoided doing all these years: cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, etc. Also, I'm wondering what other things I need to expect... Like how I'm going to get my own health insurance, auto insurance, etc. My master plan, as I've called it, has yet to be completely formulated, so please leave me any thoughts, ideas, or helpful advice. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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punjman

01-17-2004, 10:50 PM

auto insurance: go to an agent.
health insurance: get a real job, not a temp job, not a burger flipping job. They supply benefits.

make sure this 'friend' of yours also has a jobas well, and can actually supply the needed income for rent.

For apts, most of them cover water, and garbage, but thats about it. You'll need money to connect electricity, phone, water (if its not taken care of that is) cable, broadband, etc.

You'll need to learn to cook, and I don't mean chef boyardee. If you eat out or buy canned meals (not canned food products, i mean meals like chef boyardee) you will end up spending a lot of money.

Buy stuff that isnt brand name, buy generic stuff.. EXCEPT on a few key items. With some stuff, like macaroni and cheese its best to get 'kraft' brand, since they are the best.

Make sure you know how to pay bills, and make sure you take care of your car, and that you even HAVE a car.

Jobs. Again, this is important. If you want to go to some school, its best to stay with your parents. Tough it out. You can save money that way. If not, I suggest getting a job that is 40hrs a week and pays well.

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MooglyGuy

01-17-2004, 11:01 PM

> Hey, guys. I'm really in a bind of thoughts right now.
> I've pretty much made up my mind a long time ago that I'm
> going to move out when I turn eighteen. I'm sick of my
> parents controlling my life,

*snip*

> so please leave me any thoughts, ideas, or
> helpful advice.

Yeah, here's my advice: Face the facts that no matter how independent you'd like to think you are, your parents will control your life. Forever. Until the day you die. Yeah, I was like you once. I said to myself, "Man, my mother's such a control freak, it'll be nice to be a legal adult, because then she won't be able to control me any more!" Of course, I didn't realize that now she can control me even more because if I don't do everything she says she'll kick my ass to the curb.

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Octocrook

01-17-2004, 11:02 PM

> Buy stuff that isnt brand name, buy generic stuff.. EXCEPT
> on a few key items. With some stuff, like macaroni and
> cheese its best to get 'kraft' brand, since they are the
> best.

As long as you make it right, generic and kraft taste almost exactly the same to me. You're right though in that some generic stuff tastes considerably worse than brand name. I recall Ralph's Private Selection coke tasting like total shit compared to Coke...even though I go t o Ralph's a lot, I never would think of trying it again, because I would end up throwing it out if it tastes like it used to. Safeway Select, on the other hand, almost tastes as good as Coke.

> Make sure you know how to pay bills, and make sure you take
> care of your car, and that you even HAVE a car.

Indeed.

> Jobs. Again, this is important. If you want to go to some
> school, its best to stay with your parents. Tough it out.
> You can save money that way. If not, I suggest getting a job
> that is 40hrs a week and pays well.

If your parents aren't too bad, then yes, I too suggest staying with them. On the other hand, if your mom is like mine and makes living in her house a living hell, move the fuck out, and get full-time work and take part-time college.

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JCJones86

01-17-2004, 11:16 PM

> Of course, I didn't realize that now she can control me even more because if I don't do everything she says she'll kick my ass to the curb.

Did you miss something? My plan is to MOVE OUT. How about some helpful advice for once? Independence means just that: being completely independent. Doing whatever it takes to make a living. Not going back to mama and whimpering to crawl back into your womb...

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SivakDrac

01-17-2004, 11:23 PM

Have money and lots of it.

I still live with mother and I'm 21. No complaints by me whatsoever. Maybe when some place recognizes my college degree I'll get out, but until then I'll just stay right here.

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JCJones86

01-17-2004, 11:25 PM

> If your parents aren't too bad, then yes, I too suggest staying with them. On the other hand, if your mom is like mine and makes living in her house a living hell, move the fuck out, and get full-time work and take part-time college.

That's the thing. I'm decided on moving out, so it's going to have to be full-time work. I have a job. That's no problem. Working in school isn't the problem. I'll deal with whatever schedule I have to follow. The problem is in the details. The planning stage, so to speak.

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CEpeep

01-17-2004, 11:59 PM

> Did you miss something? My plan is to MOVE OUT. How about
> some helpful advice for once? Independence means just that:
> being completely independent. Doing whatever it takes to
> make a living. Not going back to mama and whimpering to
> crawl back into your womb...

I think he meant it figuratively, as in removing him from her life not just from the house.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 01:05 AM

> I think he meant it figuratively, as in removing him from
> her life not just from the house.

Exactly, and it's a little hard to remove someone from your life when you were coerced into signing over your student loan to the person under the agreement that the same person would pay back the loan. Yeah, I guess I'll just move out, and have my credit ruined by an unstable and malicious bitch! GREAT idea! I suppose JCShiteater doesn't realize that things aren't always cut-and-dry.

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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 01:12 AM

> I suppose JCShiteater doesn't realize that things aren't always cut-and-dry.

Heed your own advice, and maybe next time you could possibly read the text a little easier. Things aren't exactly any way you could possibly think without being in my perspective.

Oh, and it looks like I hit a nerve. Apple-polly-loggies. Not.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 01:19 AM

> Oh, and it looks like I hit a nerve. Apple-polly-loggies.
> Not.

It's "Appie-Polly-Loggies", you fucking dolt.

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Octocrook

01-18-2004, 01:20 AM

> Oh, and it looks like I hit a nerve. Apple-polly-loggies.
> Not.

That post was him kidding I believe.

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punjman

01-18-2004, 01:21 AM

> As long as you make it right, generic and kraft taste almost
> exactly the same to me.

Agreed, but what I meant was the cheese powder that comes with "Sams Choice" (walmart) or other generic brands. Once a friend of mine gave me lots of stuff because she was moving to another city, and she just gave me lots of Mac/cheese... but it was generic. The cheese powder (in the packets I mean) was like ROCK, and it wasnt old or anything. I even bought some to check it out. I use butter and milk to mix the powder into the noodles, and even with that, there were still chunks of that rocky substance in the mac/cheese. I had to throw it away.

Another product you HAVE to buy name brand is Chocolate syrup. Hershey's or Nestle Quick. Anything else is CRAP.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 01:24 AM

> That post was him kidding I believe.

No, I do truly get enraged by people accusing me of wanting to continue living with my mother has the tendency to piss me off. I plan on moving out as soon as I'm financially able. Personally, I have no idea where he got the idea that I went crawling BACK to the woman, perhaps he came up with the idea midway between fucking the housecat and felching his dog.

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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 01:36 AM

> Personally, I have no idea where he got the idea that I went crawling BACK to the woman

Maybe if you'd pull your head out of your ass for a moment you'd realize I was making a general statement, not a directed one. I had no intentions of attacking your situation. I was attacking your horrible lack of perception in regards to the topic of this thread. Want me to spell it out for you? I'm moving out, CUT AND DRY. No emotional baggage, no garbage to deal with. My sincerest apologies if I have offended you in any considerable manner to the point of your undoing. Otherwise, deal.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 01:44 AM

> My sincerest apologies if
> I have offended you in any considerable manner to the point
> of your undoing. Otherwise, deal.

Fine. I was mostly put off by the fact that you were bitching me out for a joke. I mean, seriously, dude.

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Octocrook

01-18-2004, 01:52 AM

> No, I do truly get enraged by people accusing me of wanting
> to continue living with my mother has the tendency to piss
> me off.

lol...it flew over my head that you could have taken his comment to be referring to you particularly. Hell, I too live with a bitch mom and don't want to, but as much of a hell as it is, I'm reaping the benefits too, of actually being able to save money (which I probably couldn't do if I simply worked fulltime for jack squat and lived on my own). If someone's like "That's sad...you live with your mother?", I respond with "In 10 years, when I'm living in a nice place with a nice job and you can barely be able to make ends meet, we'll see who puts who down."

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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 02:01 AM

> Fine. I was mostly put off by the fact that you were
> bitching me out for a joke. I mean, seriously, dude.

I didn't catch wind of that. Go ahead. Attack my dull, thick skull and call me a dolt.

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Octocrook

01-18-2004, 02:02 AM

> The cheese powder (in the
> packets I mean) was like ROCK, and it wasnt old or anything.

Actually, one time when we got Kraft, the box and the cheese packet had little holes in them (mom didn't notice the hole in the box apparently when she bought it). This was back when I was little and wasn't making my own Mac n Cheese, and she didn't make it very often either, so there it sat. I have a feeling that when we bought it, there may have only been a few boll weevils in it, but well...one day, I pour myself a bowl of Golden Grahams, and just as I'm about to pour the milk, I notice a good 50 or 60 of the fuckers in the cereal. I think I had seen like 1 or 2 of them in the few days leading to that and thought nothing of it, but god damn...I opened the cabinet with the Mac n Cheese in it and they were everywhere. Eventually, we figured out the Mac n Cheese had to have been where they came from because in the cheese packet, there was a shitload of dead ones. It's weird because it wasn't one of those "I'll never eat Mac n Cheese again" experiences or anything...just sticks in my head.

> Another product you HAVE to buy name brand is Chocolate
> syrup. Hershey's or Nestle Quick. Anything else is CRAP.

I'll have to agree with that. I find chocolate to be something that can and is often screwed up by a lot of companies. Once again, fucking Private Selection comes to mind...I think its their chocolate chip ice cream in which the chocolate "chunks" don't taste good at all...kind of like bad dark chocolate or something.

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Richter X

01-18-2004, 02:10 AM

I just use chocolate milk powder myself. Different brands have different tastes. However, Ovaltine, in my opinion, tastes the best. I once tried a chocolate powder called Milo (made by Nestle). It has a picture of a soccer player on the front. Anyways, I tried to mix it in a glass, but it wouldn't mix. So I got my hand mixer out and made it mix. It tasted like bran cereal. I wonder if it was a bad batch or it was just because I got it from a "damaged goods" store.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 02:27 AM

> > Fine. I was mostly put off by the fact that you were
> > bitching me out for a joke. I mean, seriously, dude.
>
> I didn't catch wind of that. Go ahead. Attack my dull,
> thick skull and call me a dolt.

No, not catching a joke doesn't make you a dolt, butchering a classic Clockwork Orange line does. <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 02:30 AM

> No, not catching a joke doesn't make you a dolt, butchering
> a classic Clockwork Orange line does.

I haven't read it in a long while. Sue me. <img src=smilies/upeyes.gif> At least I didn't get it from the movie.

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mFC

01-18-2004, 03:54 AM

ditto to what moogle said. stay at your house and go to school. it's a lot cheaper than struggling with juggling work, rent, and other bills. everybody gets pissed at their parents when they reach 18, just a phase in my opinion.

Chris

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Goku

01-18-2004, 04:10 AM

May I ask, how bad is your mother?

Really, when you are home you are rent free. That makes a big difference in the finance department. Unless you find factory work (which is rare), your pay is going to be of the low wage variety.

U know what, it might be best to put up with your bitchy mother and get into a tech. school with a co op program. Once you finish the co op, than get the hell out. Atleast you will have industry experience and the connections to get a decent job.

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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 04:21 AM

> May I ask, how bad is your mother?

Bad enough to warrant me to have been planning this since I was sixteen.

> Really, when you are home you are rent free. That makes a
> big difference in the finance department. Unless you find
> factory work (which is rare), your pay is going to be of the
> low wage variety.

Well, I have a decent job right now. I'm going to talk to my manager about increasing my hours and see how that goes.

> U know what, it might be best to put up with your bitchy
> mother and get into a tech. school with a co op program.
> Once you finish the co op, than get the hell out. Atleast
> you will have industry experience and the connections to get
> a decent job.

Might be best, sure. The way I look at it is this: If I were to stay here and go to school I'd still have to work and pay rent (probably more than paying for an apartment... talking around $400/month), wouldn't care about school as much since I'd have that "free ride" attitude, and I'd still have my parents to deal with. There would be no agreements that if I was paying rent I could come in whenever. I'd have to be home by a certain time because they wait on me to get home. I don't get home until after 1 AM some nights and they feel the need to stay up and wait for me... They're the type that go to bed at around 10PM at the latest.

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pipes

01-18-2004, 04:22 AM

Don't get a room mate. They are not dependable. I don't care how trustworty they seem to be. Out on your own there is only one person you can trust. Yourself! With a roommate on your ass you are open to get fucked!

-----------------------------------------
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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 04:24 AM

> Don't get a room mate. They are not dependable. I don't care how trustworty they seem to be. Out on your own there is only one person you can trust. Yourself! With a roommate on your ass you are open to get fucked!

Can you be a little more specific? Around here getting a room mate is much cheaper. I'm sure we'll have our differences on things, but that's what compromise and discussion now in our planning is all about.

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SpaceTiger

01-18-2004, 04:34 AM

> Can you be a little more specific? Around here getting a
> room mate is much cheaper. I'm sure we'll have our
> differences on things, but that's what compromise and
> discussion now in our planning is all about.

My brother is currently getting sued because his roommates 1) didn't pay their rent, 2) used his rent money to buy drugs, and 3) wrecked the place. It's a worst-case scenario, but a scenario nonetheless.

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Tsyni

01-18-2004, 04:35 AM

> Can you be a little more specific? Around here getting a
> room mate is much cheaper. I'm sure we'll have our
> differences on things, but that's what compromise and
> discussion now in our planning is all about.

roomates are good in most instances, i have a huge 2 bedroom apartment and i pay $150 a month canadaian for it because i have 2 roomates(they are bf/gf) and my gf lives with me, the only other thing we pay for is hyrdo(electricity) which is about 30 dollars every 2 months(thats before its divided it up between ourselves).

There has been some tension, but overall it's worked out fine for me.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 04:42 AM

Your description of your parents sounds like they're clones of my mother. I'm currently under somewhat of a rent situation myself. I'm going to college on a full scholarship, so that's my "job" in that since I have two concurrent scholarships I end up with money left over, so I'm expected to sign that over to her, and she gives me a $200/semester "allowance", so to speak. On the bright side, the "rent" that I pay is for an entire apartment rather than just a bedroom. See, our house is a duplex, and she's been renovating the upper duplex by putting down carpeting, furniture, tile, and she put in a new fridge, and for that rent she's letting me live there. It's a one-bedroom, one full bath, full kitchen, decent-sized living room apartment, so I can't really complain that much. The problem is, as you mentioned with your own parents, that even if you paid rent (and I pay rent), they still wouldn't give you any kind of leniency when it comes to the rules, you'd still be expected to have a curfew despite being a legal adult.

It would all be well and good if I could afford to move out, but quite frankly what I pay her in rent wouldn't be enough to pay for my own apartment, food, utilites, transportation, etc. By the same token, in order to build up my credit so that I have good credit as opposed to no credit, she's having me take out a few student loans under the agreement that she gets all of the money from the loans, but she also pays them off for me as well (since she's the one getting the use of the money). This essentially means that I'm chained here at the ankle, since she could easily make my life a living hell and ruin my credit if I displease her.

Anyway, good luck on moving out. I applaud you for taking the initiative, and hopefully things will go well for you.

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Isildur

01-18-2004, 04:47 AM

> My brother is currently getting sued because his roommates
> 1) didn't pay their rent, 2) used his rent money to buy
> drugs, and 3) wrecked the place. It's a worst-case
> scenario, but a scenario nonetheless.
>

<img src=smilies/eek5.gif>
Yikes.

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pipes

01-18-2004, 05:01 AM

People change. I have noticed alot of my friends have changed alot right about 18 to 21. Some for the good and some for the bad. It doesn't matter really who the person it is. It is still a risk. If you where out on your own then you don't have to worry about that risk, but you will have to do all the work your self. I say move out on your own and take the work. Its not really that hard if you ask me. I kind of forget about it when I realize that I need it to survive.

-----------------------------------------
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Isildur

01-18-2004, 05:02 AM

> By the same token, in order to build up my credit so
> that I have good credit as opposed to no credit, she's
> having me take out a few student loans under the agreement
> that she gets all of the money from the loans, but she also
> pays them off for me as well (since she's the one getting
> the use of the money). This essentially means that I'm
> chained here at the ankle, since she could easily make my
> life a living hell and ruin my credit if I displease her.
>

Aw man, that's fucked up... <img src=smilies/headshake.gif>

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punjman

01-18-2004, 05:09 AM

Yeah I have to wholeheartedly agree with SpaceTiger here. That's why I said your room mate has to have a job, but even then, yeah, they need to be ON THE BALL about stuff. Ive had friends in the same position as ST's bro, because of bad roommates, or because their girlfriend (who was a roomie) broke up with them and split.

It may be annoying at times, but if you're starting off, and wanta roomie, I say get a brother, or something.

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SpaceTiger

01-18-2004, 05:35 AM

> It may be annoying at times, but if you're starting off, and
> wanta roomie, I say get a brother, or something.

Yeah, even close friends can turn out to be a nightmare sometimes. Eventually, you learn to judge who would be a good roommate for you, but it takes experience. The problem with this situation is that it's delicate and a bad roommate could potentially ruin your life. Even my brother is going to come out of it just fine because mom and dad are supporting him and he has plenty to fall back on.

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SwampGas

01-18-2004, 06:16 AM

Rent = $732/mo
Utilities = $160/mo (everything except cable is included in rent)
Phone = $40/mo
Car = $497/mo
Gas = $100/mo
Clothes = $7/mo (based on 1 load per week)
Food = $400/mo
Insurance = $500/mo
Renter's insurance = $12/mo (paid it all in advance)
Health insurance = $90/mo

We're up to over $2500/mo already. Unless you're pulling over $36,000/yr, you won't see ANY play money.

Don't move out on that $8.75/hr job you have. Move out when you get $40,000/yr on salary plus benefits.

Advice: Create a separate savings account or money market and do direct deposit. Send $100-500 per paycheck into that account, then put the rest into your normal account. DON'T TOUCH THIS MONEY. I'm serious. Don't touch it AT ALL. At $500/mo going into a good money market (4% interest is a safe number to use...pretty neutral to big increases/declines) you will have close to a million dollars in that account when you retire.

Advice: If you have children....on the day you receive news your wifey is preggo, buy savings bonds. Create money market accounts and dump money into it. When the kid turns 20, his savings bonds will give him cash-in-hand to pursue his career....the rest of the investments will pay for his $100,000 education.

I'm speaking from experience here...be careful with your decisions and take the advice.

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Octocrook

01-18-2004, 07:19 AM

> Insurance = $500/mo

Jesus dude...that's a high ass insurance cost, unless you're not simply speaking auto insurance.

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Octocrook

01-18-2004, 07:26 AM

> Can you be a little more specific? Around here getting a
> room mate is much cheaper. I'm sure we'll have our
> differences on things, but that's what compromise and
> discussion now in our planning is all about.

I am fortunate enough to be in the position to have a trustworthy roommate ready when I move out. My best friend, who has been working full-time since he got out of HS, also lives at home and is waiting to move out as well, and we've already had many talks about doing exactly that...both of us moving into one place.

Frankly, however, I wouldn't do it under any other circumstances. I have 2 reasons for that. My sister has been seriously fucked over before by roommates she thought were friends, and my brother is the basic "bad roommate"...can never keep a job, sucks at saving money, etc, and yet he always manages to sucker new roommates. Even if you truly think you can trust the person, time and time again people have fallen into that trap and lost bigtime. So I would advise against getting a roommate (unless its someone you've been really good friends with for a long time and have heavily discussed it, like me and my friend).

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JCJones86

01-18-2004, 01:14 PM

> Anyway, good luck on moving out. I applaud you for taking
> the initiative, and hopefully things will go well for you.

Well, I don't honestly understand the entire credit aspect of your problem, but good luck with that. And thanks for the well wishes. I'll need them.

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Goku

01-18-2004, 02:50 PM

That is really fucked about the credit. I have a question? Does your mom have bad credit? How large are these loans? Whatever happened to buying your books on a credit card and paying that off?

It is just bizarre.

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MooglyGuy

01-18-2004, 05:10 PM

> That is really fucked about the credit. I have a question?
> Does your mom have bad credit? How large are these loans?
> Whatever happened to buying your books on a credit card and
> paying that off?
>
> It is just bizarre.

Perhaps you don't understand something. My books are paid off by the excess money from my two scholarships, not the student loans.

HER credit is just fine. I have no credit. By me taking out a loan and her paying the loan back, it makes MY credit better without any effort for me. Personally, I think it's quite a good deal, provided she doesn't miss any payments (and she never has, never will).

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"Kupo, motherfucker!! DO YOU SPEAK IT!?"