Octocrook
11-08-2003, 08:09 AM
Most likely bombed on my Advanced Calculus test today, undoubtedly because I didn't study enough, mainly I didn't do any examples of things like proving epsilon-delta continuity, etc. In some ways, my songwriting hobby is a curse as much as a blessing. I made a kick-ass song last night (which took up good study time), and changed it a bit this morning, and then made a new CD for the car with it, when I should have been concentrating on studying. Then again, my Abstract Algebra teacher boring the shit out of me to the point of sleepiness the hour before the test wasn't much help either. Still, I wonder if it's even worth it. When a song hits me just right, it's an inexplicable feeling, and it's multiplied when it's a song I make.
Heck, just now, I made a really simple piano solo (named it Fairykiller, but only cuz I like the name <img src=http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif>). It's only like a 30-second long song that's looped 3 times, and even in the 30 seconds, the 2 parts are the same parts, just an octave apart, but for some reason it hits the spot right now enough for me to have been listening to it and only it for the last 40 minutes. It's not even really that it's pleasant to listen to...actually it's kind of jarring to the head, but it's as if I can't stop listening to it anyways.
It's always so weird because I can be so into a song one day, and then the next day barely even like it. I've made like upwards of 200 songs now, and I only like about 20 or 30 of them at any given moment. Like about 120 or so of them I will probably listen to only once every few months, when I probably used to listen to many of them numerous times a day.
It's always funky to me how my style changes over time. I'll always think that whatever style I'm making will be what I'll be making months and years from now, but it never happens that way. A testament of that is my VG series of songs. A loooong time ago, I made a series of stage themes for WhyteKnight (I think for a friend of his) for Fire, Water, Earth, and Air. Each set of them has their own distinct sound...like even though the Water and Fire stages will sound similar to each other, the themes in the 2nd set sound similar to each other and pretty different to the 3rd set, and it's entirely unintentional too...it's just how it comes out. If I were to start a band or something and manage to grow a fan base, I'd basically probably piss off most of my fans, because my sound would probably change very drastically from one album to the next. Stange especially considering that in almost every other aspect of my life, I don't like change.
Speaking of not changing, once again I'm not being proactive in "getting the girl". There's a chick in my Advanced Calculus that looks a lot like Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Freddy vs Jason, etc) except more tan and darker hair. Hot as hell and I can barely take my eyes off her during class, but I just can't even find it in myself to strike up conversation. I just hate these classes so fucking much that I am not motivated to do anything at all while I'm at school, including pursue chicks. If it wasn't too late, I'd change my major to something I might enjoy, like sociology or music. Upper level math is like the most boring mind trip in the world. The shit is mildly interesting and very hard to grasp, but most of all it's tedious and monotonic (haha @ double entendre of a math term). If I wanted to be bored this much, I'd be doing my eBay shit full-time and stop going to college all together.
Oh well...I suppose I shall go to bed now. Maybe tomorrow I'll find something to do that will redeem this mind-taxing week. So far the only positives are that I bowled well yesterday and the new South Park kicked ass. On the negative, I grew more broke, college is fucking me up more, I'm growing more addicted to music and dreams, my job is getting worse, no chicks, nothing excites me (not even porn, imagine that!), and I'm missing my dad more and more. But hey...I still have my health! *cough cough hack* Ah shit....
<P ID="signature"><center><img src=http://dvdmedia.ign.com/dvd/image/southpark_season2_007.jpg>
"Who loves bacon?"
<a href=http://killa.kicks-ass.net/crooky/>Crooky's new music site</a></center></P>
Heck, just now, I made a really simple piano solo (named it Fairykiller, but only cuz I like the name <img src=http://www.zophar.net/wwwthreads/images/icons/tongue.gif>). It's only like a 30-second long song that's looped 3 times, and even in the 30 seconds, the 2 parts are the same parts, just an octave apart, but for some reason it hits the spot right now enough for me to have been listening to it and only it for the last 40 minutes. It's not even really that it's pleasant to listen to...actually it's kind of jarring to the head, but it's as if I can't stop listening to it anyways.
It's always so weird because I can be so into a song one day, and then the next day barely even like it. I've made like upwards of 200 songs now, and I only like about 20 or 30 of them at any given moment. Like about 120 or so of them I will probably listen to only once every few months, when I probably used to listen to many of them numerous times a day.
It's always funky to me how my style changes over time. I'll always think that whatever style I'm making will be what I'll be making months and years from now, but it never happens that way. A testament of that is my VG series of songs. A loooong time ago, I made a series of stage themes for WhyteKnight (I think for a friend of his) for Fire, Water, Earth, and Air. Each set of them has their own distinct sound...like even though the Water and Fire stages will sound similar to each other, the themes in the 2nd set sound similar to each other and pretty different to the 3rd set, and it's entirely unintentional too...it's just how it comes out. If I were to start a band or something and manage to grow a fan base, I'd basically probably piss off most of my fans, because my sound would probably change very drastically from one album to the next. Stange especially considering that in almost every other aspect of my life, I don't like change.
Speaking of not changing, once again I'm not being proactive in "getting the girl". There's a chick in my Advanced Calculus that looks a lot like Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Freddy vs Jason, etc) except more tan and darker hair. Hot as hell and I can barely take my eyes off her during class, but I just can't even find it in myself to strike up conversation. I just hate these classes so fucking much that I am not motivated to do anything at all while I'm at school, including pursue chicks. If it wasn't too late, I'd change my major to something I might enjoy, like sociology or music. Upper level math is like the most boring mind trip in the world. The shit is mildly interesting and very hard to grasp, but most of all it's tedious and monotonic (haha @ double entendre of a math term). If I wanted to be bored this much, I'd be doing my eBay shit full-time and stop going to college all together.
Oh well...I suppose I shall go to bed now. Maybe tomorrow I'll find something to do that will redeem this mind-taxing week. So far the only positives are that I bowled well yesterday and the new South Park kicked ass. On the negative, I grew more broke, college is fucking me up more, I'm growing more addicted to music and dreams, my job is getting worse, no chicks, nothing excites me (not even porn, imagine that!), and I'm missing my dad more and more. But hey...I still have my health! *cough cough hack* Ah shit....
<P ID="signature"><center><img src=http://dvdmedia.ign.com/dvd/image/southpark_season2_007.jpg>
"Who loves bacon?"
<a href=http://killa.kicks-ass.net/crooky/>Crooky's new music site</a></center></P>