Compliments...

[Octocrook]

I live in a world where I get complimented very little. My sister, who has pretty much represented "female perspective" while I was growing up with a mom that didn't really raise me, is skeptical of compliments on her looks and such by men, and this attitude has somewhat rubbed off on me inadvertantly to the point where I pretty much never compliment a girl on her looks. This is probably one reason why I'm not even motivated anymore to ask girls out, because I wind up viewing myself as some sleezy guy stereotype my sister has.

Part of the reason why I'm posting this is cuz I read Space's post in wingless's drunken image thread saying how pathetic we are for complimenting wingless on her looks; more specifically, he called it a "hitting on wingless" thread. It pains me to see such a statement, because I don't think complimenting someone on their looks should be considered a bad thing (unless it's something lude like "Damn, bitch...you have a nice fucking ass"), and I definitely don't think a compliment about someone's looks should automatically mean you're hitting on them. Shit, I've been unable to make even regular girl friends because everytime I would want to be friendly, my sisters stereotypes of men pop into my head, and I wind up thinking "well, if I compliment her, it must mean I'm hitting on her, which makes me some sleezy guy". I don't want that kind of shit to be in my head fucking me over, so naturally, every time I see or hear someone make that assumption, it upsets me. I mean has the world really gotten so bad so that you can't say something positive about someone without it being assumed there's some ulterior motive to it? I hope not.

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[fairykiller]

> Part of the reason why I'm posting this is cuz I read
> Space's post in wingless's drunken image thread saying how
> pathetic we are for complimenting wingless on her looks;
> more specifically, he called it a "hitting on wingless"
> thread.

K, from a totally unbiased perspective, it really did look like that. The first time was fine, but two whole long threads saying

guy: "you're so hot"
wingless: "thanks!"

Now I'm sure wingless really enjoyed it, and I'm sure most of the guys actually meant it, and I didn't think you guys were being sleazy - just repetitive. I personally think wingless is extremely pretty, and I love her hair (I think that was the point of her first post actually). But after the first two people said so, I didn't see why there was any need for me to reiterate the same point.


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[SpaceTiger]

> Part of the reason why I'm posting this is cuz I read
> Space's post in wingless's drunken image thread saying how
> pathetic we are for complimenting wingless on her looks;
> more specifically, he called it a "hitting on wingless"
> thread.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with complimenting people, I think you totally missed the point of my post. I give people compliments all the time, both on the board and off, but not when 10 - 15 people have already done so. Then it just looks lame, IMO.

Give out compliments, please, but try to make them special. You know, compliment somebody when they're not expecting it or in ways that they've never been complimented before. If a girl thinks you're sleazy just for giving her one compliment, she needs a serious attitude adjustment. A good compliment should be subtle and special, IMO, not bland and repetitive. Maybe it's just the artist in me, but I get annoyed about things like this. In addition, when one person gets too many compliments, then it can start to make other people feel bad about themselves. It's similar to why PDA makes many people uncomfortable. If you're not careful, you could end up causing more damage than good.

Anyway, I know most people won't agree with me, but that's just my opinion. Take it as you will.

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[JadussD]

> The real reason why PDA is annoying is that it's annoying,
> seriously. Especially when you're waiting in the checkout
> line at the store with your box of preperation H and someone
> is attempting to ingest someone elses face, and thus hold
> you up 'cause they aren't paying attention.

Man, you know what's more annoying than that? Unnecessary acronyms.<img src=smilies/retard.gif>

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[Lobster Cowboy]

i think giving compliments, if done right, is a great way to break the ice with people. i consider myself to be a master of the ol' compliment, and i'll share my technique:

the key is to find something good about a person. everyone has something good about them, you just have to find it. Once you find it, you compliment at a point just below exaggeration. For example: "Wow, you really have knock-out eyes." It's stronger than "You have nice eyes", but it's not too strong. Say it in complete earnest, and you're good to go.

now some of you may think that sounds duplicitious, but i assure you, it's for the best intentions. isn't it nice to make someone feel good, if only for a few moments? the media instructs us to hate everything about ourselves. why just last night, i saw this infomercial that was talking about how to grow a 25% larger penis, because no matter how big you are, it's not enough. all day, and all night, all the time, we're told we suck. so how awesome is it when someone compliments you just as you are? i think it rocks.

as for myself, i'm not really a huge fan of compliments. i assume that someone isn't just being nice, but they have some alterior motive. really, it all depends on who's giving out the compliments.

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[Kuikorosu]

> Thank you so much for your input Akane. No one asked
> though, oh kei?

Dude. That's so fucking harsh. Lighten up. <img src=smilies/angryfire.gif>

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[SpaceTiger]

> Dude. That's so fucking harsh. Lighten up.

What the fuck is going on in this thread?! <img src=smilies/banghead.gif>

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[thegodofhellfire]

To be honest, we don't really do compliments over here in the UK. I'm culturally conditioned to think "sleaze" whenever I hear one being paid to someone, however far from the truth that might be. Similarly, I'm not comfortable taking them. Somehow makes me uneasy. It's not a confidence thing - far from it. It's just rather an alien concept to me.

I'd be interested to see, though, just how much of this is me and how much is our culture. Anyone else from these fair isles agree?

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[icenine0]

> I live in a world where I get complimented very little.

Yo, Crooky - YOU DA MAN! <img src=smilies/thumb.gif>

<P ID="signature">The more often you fail, the sweeter the taste of success!</P><P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by icenine0 on 10/05/03 10:07 PM.</FONT></P>